007 you sure have a tough situation. As others here have said, ultimately the decision is yours. One thing to think about though is your own mental health. If you don't take care of yourself, you may soon be in no position to look after anyone else. Can you possibly get her to therapy so that her issues can be properly addressed? Perhaps a combination of treatment with counseling and medication could help her to stabilize the mood problem. If she won't go, you should go yourself anyway. A good therapist can help you to sort things out and figure out how best to support your wife without putting your own well-being at risk. Bless you for caring so much for her -- many would simply walk away from such a sticky situation. Good luck.
happpyexjw
JoinedPosts by happpyexjw
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Clarify- I'm going back to Meetings to save my wifes sanity! What would you do?
by Witness 007 ini recently posted that my wife has had mental/depression problems since she hurt her back at work 12 months ago....and since after years of picking on the witnesses by me, she finally lost her faith in them and became in-active....victory i thought!
slowly her stress levels began to rise...she quit work and rehab....then the sleeplessness, wierd behavior..wild agression....bizzar stuff.
we split for two months after much stress...she called me back home crying and i relent...she lost many kilo's {pounds} in weight, and isn't doing well i want to help, i was heartbroken to see this.
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Life After JWs
by Uzzah ini wanted to share some very cool (in my opinion) news.
in two months i will have been gone from bethel for 14 years and attended my last meeting 11 years ago.
i spent 11 years at bethel sacrificing all of my 20's to the borg and finding myself at age 32 with no resume or real work experience.. it has been a tough haul with the majority of my energy going into building a career.
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happpyexjw
Congratulations! You have demonstrated in very real terms that people can recover and have a real life after leaving the wts. I didn't start building a real life until I was 40 -- no education, (college was bad you know), no consistent experience (we moved constantly) and too many years of thinking poverty was some kind of virtue. It is tough, but oh soo sweet when success comes. Good for you!
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Reluctant to tell others of JW past?
by happpyexjw inhas anyone felt uncomfortable telling others that they were once jws?
i have shared this info with very few people in the 19 years since i left.
i don't want to have to explain to someone who wouldn't understand anyway.
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happpyexjw
Baba, I find your comment about the anger stage very interesting. I don't recall being angry. I do feel sorry for most of the people I knew who are still in. I think most of the R&F I knew were sincere, albeit misguided. I know I was. Some of the things I was required to do, like shunning family members who were DF'd were incredibly hard. There is no way I could have done that if I had not been convinced it was the "right" thing to do. I am ashamed that I was so taken in, but I thought I was pleasing God at the time. I really believe the same is true of the majority of current followers.
Of course, I also encountered some bad apples as well, including a close family member who molested two of my kids and managed to convince the elders that he was sorry and reformed. Part of me says he is a sick man, but the human part will be happier when he is dead. Come to think of it Babba, that whole situation does make me angry!
thanks for sharing all.
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Reluctant to tell others of JW past?
by happpyexjw inhas anyone felt uncomfortable telling others that they were once jws?
i have shared this info with very few people in the 19 years since i left.
i don't want to have to explain to someone who wouldn't understand anyway.
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happpyexjw
Thanks to all of you for sharing your thoughts on this question. As time goes on I find it easier to let go of things like guilt and shame over things I did when I was trying to walk the walk, but I still have lingering scars from the experience. However, I have to say there is an upside for me. I think it has made me a kinder, gentler person and way less judgemental than I might have been otherwise. When people do things that they shouldn't I find myself trying to make allowances for where they may have been in life. Maybe this was part of me anyway...I guess I'll never really know for sure. I know one thing -- It takes a long time to heal from this religion.
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Reluctant to tell others of JW past?
by happpyexjw inhas anyone felt uncomfortable telling others that they were once jws?
i have shared this info with very few people in the 19 years since i left.
i don't want to have to explain to someone who wouldn't understand anyway.
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happpyexjw
Has anyone felt uncomfortable telling others that they were once JWs? I have shared this info with very few people in the 19 years since I left. I don't want to have to explain to someone who wouldn't understand anyway. And I guess on some level I worry that the person would be thinking "What an idiot."
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Weird Funeral coming up!
by wobble ina friend of mine from my youth has just lost his mother,very quick,diagnosed with the big c and died 5 weeks later,sad.. she was lifelong dub,her son,my friend was df'd nearly 40 years ago,never went back,never will.he asked me if,as an old friend of his mums i would give a eulogy at the crematorium,so that it was more personal than just the dubs doing it,i said i would be honoured.his mum was good to us in our teens.. so it was agreed,bro s, would say a bit,then me,then bro s close.
when the dubs found out i was involved they kicked off"he is inactive" "it dosn't fit in with our theocratic thinking to have him involved".. so,my friend says to the elder who phoned him,"you've got three choices, 1)do it my way,or2)just hold a memorial service at the kh,or3)come to the funeral directors with your cheque book and i'll have nothing to do with it,you can do the lot!
so now they are going for option two,and telling the dubbies not to come to the crem,although my friend has said any are welcome,so i will be doing a non-religious ceremony at the crem.with only her son ,me and a couple of her non-dub cousins present,perhaps a stray dub.. here is the weird bit,the dubs will do a memorial service,with none of her family members present,and without me of course!.
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happpyexjw
This is a good example of the destructiveness of JW teachng. My father joined up when I was in my teens and left years later when I had children and was still very active. He got cancer and had enough time to make his own arrangements which included a big Catholice funeral preached by his jackass nephew who happened to be a priest. I went to all the arrangements except for the funeral in the church part, which caused major upheaval in the family. I thought I was doing the "right" thing. Of course, I would do it differently now. Families should never have to go through this kind of crap when they are already grieving. How unloving.
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Have any of you just handed the book COC to a jw friend or relative?
by cawshun inif so, how did it go over, good or bad?
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happpyexjw
Leavingwt, I absolutely agree with your advice on this point. I had numerous ops to check out anti-witness books and letters from individuals who had left and never would look at them. I thought I was being a good Christian and "guarding my heart" as I had been taught/conditioned over the years. My guard was instantly up and avoided those who offered me the stuff like the plague. I think offering this book to your son-in-law Cawshun might just make him more resolved that he has the "truth."
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happpyexjw
Started studying with Mom at age 9, baptized at age 12 out at age 40...that was in 1990
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Saw Danish Worlds Apart movie, have questions
by jws ini just watched the danish film "worlds apart" last night.
it's the story of a jw girl who falls in love with a "worldly" boy and all of the problems in her life.
and if anybody wants to see it, it's on the independent film channel on-demand.
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happpyexjw
My JW experience began in 1959 and I remember quite a few summer conventions that were held outdoors. I also recall being in the rain. You were expected to just suck it up and sit there.
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Question Box in new May KM...more spin of things to come
by TooBad TooSad ini have a scan of the question box but i can't figure out how to upload it so i. will just type it out.
i can guarantee you that only we who post on this web.
by jehovah's witnesses have different logos.. congregations or individuals should not use logos or names of the organization's legal.
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happpyexjw
Looks like paranoia to me too. The wts wants to call the shots and regularly gives "insight" on how the elders are to handle judicial matters (such as child abuse, fraud, etc.) but when the elders follow that advice and get sued the wts "entity" does not want to be held accountable. I wonder if elders have any clue how quick the organization will cut them loose and leave them hanging if they get sued or better yet, become the subject of a criminal investigation (for not reporting child abuse, for example)?