Cadellin

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Posts by Cadellin

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  80

  What is it with all the men waking up but the wives stay in? Why is it the opposite for me?

  by Cadellin in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this is something i've thought about for a while now.

  it seems like the same story on this board over and over--the husband, who also might be an elder, ms, etc.--starts having doubts and researching, aka miseryloveselders and franklin massey and others.

  he starts to smell the coffee and realizes that this organization isn't what it claims to be.

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  Cadellin

  Wow--what a great response and what good observations. This has really been helpful to me. I don't buy into the "men think/women feel" thing because I don't think thoughts and emotions operate on such a strict binary and I think men and women are more alike than that old stereotype implies. Still, as much as I hate generalizing, I have to say that the social aspect must be a factor. Not for me, but I can see how it is for other women.

  And, it seems to be true that the revelation of the behind-the-scenes operations of elder bodies and other organizational instruments must work as an eye-opener for men, something women never get to see. I think because women are barred from so much of the organizational workings, they have more trouble moving past the "warm, fuzzy" facade.

  Still, there's more women here that took the first move than I originally thought. Hey--now THAT'S good news!
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  80

  What is it with all the men waking up but the wives stay in? Why is it the opposite for me?

  by Cadellin in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this is something i've thought about for a while now.

  it seems like the same story on this board over and over--the husband, who also might be an elder, ms, etc.--starts having doubts and researching, aka miseryloveselders and franklin massey and others.

  he starts to smell the coffee and realizes that this organization isn't what it claims to be.

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  Cadellin

  This is something I've thought about for a while now. It seems like the same story on this board over and over--the husband, who also might be an elder, ms, etc.--starts having doubts and researching, aka miseryloveselders and Franklin Massey and others. He starts to smell the coffee and realizes that this organization isn't what it claims to be. And the wife stays resolutely unwilling to consider his "new light"! Why isn't it the other way around, or at least as often the wife waking up as the husband?

  Maybe I've just not paid attention to the wives on board here who have husbands who stay JW. I know there's at least a few, like me--but doesn't it seem like the men leave or wake up and the wife resists? Or is it just me?? Any thoughts?
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  67

  last day at the kingdom hall

  by ex-Special Pioneer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  prologue.

  get out shouted the audience you must be ashamed of yourself.

  the crowd was in a hysterical state, every time that we tried to say something we were silenced by the clapping and screams which got louder and louder of the majority of the two hundred people in attendance.

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  Cadellin

  Stonewall, both of those YB examples are of one particular man/brother taking matters into his own hands. It's not exactly the same as almost an entire congregation, as ESP asserts.

  Of course, I can't comment on the two incidents that happened to you personally. And, admittedly, odd things do happen from time to time...Still, as I said before, ESP's story seems hard to believe. Not impossible.
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  26

  Hi, I'm new

  by clearbrook5.0 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi, i used to be a jw, but too many things bothered me.

  this is a good site.

  thanks..

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  Cadellin

  Welcome and tell us a little about yourself...
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  10

  StoneWall's SKINNY DIPPING PHOTOS with wife and her girl friends

  by StoneWall in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  shame on you for looking....lol.

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  Cadellin

  Us mermaids know that skinny dipping pics aren't necessarily X-rated or even R-rated, for that matter!! I just thought they might be nice, sunny, warm-weather pics. Really.

  Really, really.
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  57

  The story of Punkofnice. It was the 'Overlapping' that finally got me out!

  by punkofnice in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  why i am now a faded apostate after the ridiculous overlapping teaching!.

  i was raised in the trooooooooooth and both my parents were pioneers.

  over the years i pioneered, was an ms and finally an elder.

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  Cadellin

  Welcome! You and Almighty Dog have plenty in common, btw.

  What's your avatar? I'm not sure if it's scary or funny...or both!
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  44

  A Lurker taking a step out of the shadows

  by AlmightyDog in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been lurking on this site and others for a couple of years now, and i feel it is time to step out and say "hello!

  " when i first began investigating my beliefs, it was innocent enough.

  i had been reading an article on scientology, thinking; "wow, these people are just plain nuts!!!

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  Cadellin

  Welcome, Dog. I, took, am in a similar situation. It's really hard keeping a marriage together when one of you sees this religion for what it is (human to the core) and the other still thinks the FDS are God's channel. I'm just telling you straight. That said, it's not impossible. I have an elder husband and a child and I've had to be honest with him, just like you've been with your wife. Our child is old enough to understand what it means to be caught in the middle and I can't say it hasn't caused a degree of anguish for our child.

  This is how I've handled it: All I can be is honest with my child. I've told my child exactly why I don't believe anymore. I've talked about evolution and the tremendous evidence. But I've also instilled respect for my husband's beliefs. And I"ve made it clear to my child that my support is there regardless of what choices my child chooses to make in life.

  Please keep us informed on how things go. And, yes, by all means, read Crisis of Conscience. It's amazing.
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  67

  last day at the kingdom hall

  by ex-Special Pioneer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  prologue.

  get out shouted the audience you must be ashamed of yourself.

  the crowd was in a hysterical state, every time that we tried to say something we were silenced by the clapping and screams which got louder and louder of the majority of the two hundred people in attendance.

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  Cadellin

  The crowd was in a hysterical state, every time that we tried to say something we were silenced by the clapping and screams which got louder and louder of the majority of the two hundred people in attendance. “Get out of here” were the word that kept echoing in our ears. People were standing up from the theatre seats and gesticulating there hands in the direction of the stairs that leads to the main exit door. During this commotion some present there in a rage of anger stood up from their seat and run to our direction. If it wasn’t for some present who managed to restrain them they would have assault us.

  And this really happened in a Kingdom Hall?? Of Jehovah's Witnesses?? No offense, but I find that rather hard to believe.

  Welcome anyway !!
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  5

  Trying to locate a Steven Lett talk on Carey Barber (on JW Brothers)

  by Joliette in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  it may have been his memorial talk, but i was trying to look for it, couldnt find it on the jw brothers website.. can someone please link it to me, thanks!.

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  Cadellin

  I don't know what talk this is, but I can tell you that Steve Lett didn't give his memorial talk; it was Samuel Herd.
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  84

  Being honest with yourself, could you have reasonably adjusted your attitude and continued on as a JW?

  by miseryloveselders in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i ask this question in harmony with deedub's swan song thread which i linked below.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/205902/1/time-to-say-good-bye.

  to some degree, i think i understand where she's coming from.

  just speaking from my own experiences since stepping into the world of anonymous apostacy, i went through a few different phases of personal outlooks.

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  Cadellin

  First, welcom Bafh and please tell us about yourself (when you're ready)

  This is such a good thread because so many of us have wrestled with these same issues as MLE raised. Many of us, including myself, are caught in difficult family situations and are struggling to negotiate how to be true to our consciences while not losing their marriage or their family. And yes, MLE, I've looked around our hall after a meeting and seen the camaraderie and thought, I could be part of this so easily--I know all the right things to say and movements to make. I'm not DF'd or DA'd btw, I'm inactive. That's the compromise I chose. My family can still talk to me, can handle this limited amount of "shame and sorrow" but still keep their heads up because I go to the occasional meeting and don't rock the boat. My husband is an elder who has told his body that he's "working with me." I show up often enough for them to believe it and leave me (us) alone. I keep my mouth closed.

  My rationale is that I can stand to sit through a meeting here and there (yes, I do have to resist the urge to lob my head several times against the wall when blatant stupidity is spoken) but my conscience will absolutely not allow me to knock on someone's door and tell them something I know is wrong or a lie. I won't do it. That's where I draw the line.

  But to return to full activity? No, uh-uh, nada, no chance, no way, no how. Not unless there is a dramatic about-turn in doctrine so that what is taught conforms to rational evidence (and I mean historical, biblical and natural), not unless women are accorded full equality, not unless honesty is embraced and admissions of error are made. And I dont see that happening anytime soon. Moreover, I have to applaud and echo Franklin Massey's observation about the chilling information control. That would have to be changed--open discussion without fear of judgment or discipline would need to be embraced. Thought control would need to be eliminated. Oh wait, I guess they wouldn't be a cult anymore! If all that happens, then, yeah, maybe I could adjust my attitude...