wavvy

Joined

• started 4 topics
• posted 61 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by wavvy

• 
  19

  Should I just keep my distance?

  by wavvy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  reading other people's posts, its obvious that those of us who still have contact with our jw family are constantly bombarded with sick propaganda designed to make us feel guilty and scared.

  we are all so happy to be out, yet these contacts with our family revive all the bad feelings.. my parents are always calling me to meet up with them for coffee or something.

  i don't want them to be a part of this new life of mine because i don't need that kind of crap all the time.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  wavvy

  Robdar - you are really a ray of sunshine
• 
  60

  The truth is that the reason my wife and I left was bound up with "Making the Truth Our Own"

  by gubberningbody in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  you get contacted, you come in, you learn the bible their way, then you learn the bible your way and then you leave.. you make the truth your own..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  wavvy

  Oh! Why did you have to put that song in my head!
• 
  19

  Should I just keep my distance?

  by wavvy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  reading other people's posts, its obvious that those of us who still have contact with our jw family are constantly bombarded with sick propaganda designed to make us feel guilty and scared.

  we are all so happy to be out, yet these contacts with our family revive all the bad feelings.. my parents are always calling me to meet up with them for coffee or something.

  i don't want them to be a part of this new life of mine because i don't need that kind of crap all the time.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  wavvy

  sigh...i was probably hoping that you would all say thats its ok to just ride off into the sunset and forget all about them

  but I guess you are right...family is precious no matter what. I just have to be a bit braver about setting "boundaries" (altho I do hate that cliche).
• 
  19

  Should I just keep my distance?

  by wavvy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  reading other people's posts, its obvious that those of us who still have contact with our jw family are constantly bombarded with sick propaganda designed to make us feel guilty and scared.

  we are all so happy to be out, yet these contacts with our family revive all the bad feelings.. my parents are always calling me to meet up with them for coffee or something.

  i don't want them to be a part of this new life of mine because i don't need that kind of crap all the time.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  wavvy

  Reading other people's posts, its obvious that those of us who still have contact with our JW family are constantly bombarded with sick propaganda designed to make us feel guilty and scared. We are all so happy to be out, yet these contacts with our family revive all the bad feelings.

  My parents are always calling me to meet up with them for coffee or something. I don't want to go. I don't want to see them. I don't want them to be a part of this new life of mine because I don't need that kind of crap all the time. Although I'm not D'd, I have cut off all my JW friends who still want to see me, because I don't want to hear them spew out that garbage all the time. I don't want to spend time with people who are always looking for insidious ways to try and lure me back. Always slipping little things into the conversation. They think they are subtle, but they are not.

  With friends, well, its sad but thats life. I've made new friends. With my parents though, its a different story. They are old. They are terribly torn up by the fact that their world has gone crazy and out of control. So many of their kids and grandkids are out in the 'world'. So, yes....it makes me feel guilty that I dont' want to see them. I am torn between this need to stay well away from them for the sake of my own sanity, and the sad fact that my parents are old and this may be the last few years I will have to spend time with them. I suppose I should just be grateful that they will even speak to me, given the number of people on this board whose families have cut them off entirely.

  Suggestions?
• 
  17

  Posted on behalf - ladies, please share your thoughts and comments

  by passwordprotected in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am a lifelong jw, a born-in true believer for most of my life.

  eventually i had the awakening and have been pulling away from the religion, even though we still attend meetings.

  i am willing to keep up appearances if it means saving my relationship with my wife and our close family.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  wavvy

  I agree with what Heaven says: get her forward looking.

  I'm afraid I don't see the point in trying to disprove doctrinal issues to her, or show her the fallacy of the paradise hope. That could hurt a lot, and is probably something she'll come to by herself anyway given time.

  But show her all the wonderful things you can do together in your lives. Show her all the things that are beautiful in the world. Just lead her gently by the hand and love her a lot. I'm sure she's an intelligent woman and will disentangle all the lies herself after a while. You know that scripture they always quote about winning over your unbelieving mate: 'won without a word'? It goes both ways. You are in a unique position to show her how good things are when you leave the truth without needing to drown all her hopes at once. It's like an addiction: you replace bad habits with good ones. Slowly start to help her find things in the world that can replace the things in the borg that used to keep her going.
• 
  17

  Posted on behalf - ladies, please share your thoughts and comments

  by passwordprotected in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am a lifelong jw, a born-in true believer for most of my life.

  eventually i had the awakening and have been pulling away from the religion, even though we still attend meetings.

  i am willing to keep up appearances if it means saving my relationship with my wife and our close family.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  wavvy

  I would suggest that you let her go in her own time. Obviously she's having her own doubts, but she may back off completely if the world outside seems too shocking.

  I can relate to the disinterest in doctrinal matters. Personally, even when I was a practicing JW I didn't much care about doctrinal issues. Sometimes for a woman its the daily details that matter most. When I felt that life as a JW wasn't working that's when I got out. Once you realize that the way of life of a JW is screwed up, its obvious that the doctrinal stuff probably is too. So there it doesnt' really seem necessary to go into the ins and outs of doctrinal matters.

  I can also relate to the staunch faith in....well....something. Its just all too much for some of us to let go of everything in one big bang. First I realized life as a JW was not any better than life in the world...that was shock enough for me. Then I realized that life outside was actually better. Then I decided all the other JW beliefs were probably not as accurate as I had thought. Then I began to question the Bible itself. Now I am even open to the question of whether God exists at all, and I have to admit to thinking that much of 'Babylon the Great' is pretty fantastic actually! But it was a slow process over about 3 years. At first I just had the idea that I was taking a break from meetings to sort out my thinking and might go back later if I decided that was what I wanted. Now I can't imagine that ever happening.

  Some of us are slower than others!
• 
  6

  COULD ‘ANYONE’ SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION….??

  by Mr. Majestic in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  being in the organisation for most of my life i have seen so many people suffering with depression.

  but a friend of mine recently said that it was impossible for them to suffer from the condition, because of the mental strategies they have in place to cope with hard times, and a mental resilience that they attained from a balanced stable upbringing..... .

  could it be true that some people have a natural immunity to such a debilitating mental condition....???.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  wavvy

  I don't think they are immune to depression: I think they are in denial.

  In fact I think there is a very high incidence of depression amongst JWs, but because calling it 'depression' would mean admitting that there is a problem which the Bible is incapable of curing, and would mean admitting that the hope of the Paradise does not compensate for tha garbage in their present life, they just cannot face it. According to many, there is no problem that the Bible cannot fix! Therefore if you are suffering from depression it's because you lack faith!

  You can see why its much easier to be in denial.
• 

  some spiritually uplifiting reading

  by wavvy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  anyone ever read anything by geri larkin?

  love her stuff!

  she's buddhist, but you don't have to be buddhist to just get a real lift out of her it.

• 

  wavvy

  Anyone ever read anything by Geri Larkin? Love her stuff! She's Buddhist, but you don't have to be Buddhist to just get a real lift out of her it. It's just really non-judgmental and positive.

  A favourite quote: "we compromise our own innate intelligence when we look for black-and-white truths in a world that is really a thousand shades of gray".

  Post-JW I think its' still hard to stop looking for black and white truth.

  "The Chocolate Cake Sutra" and "Plant Seed, Pull Weed" are both great.
• 
  8

  "Why God Won't Go Away"

  by mindmelda in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i've been reading a fascinating book, "why god won't go away" by andrew newberg m.d.

  and eugene d'aquili, m.d.

  ph.d. newberg is both a physician and an instructor of religious studies, dr. aquili (now deceased, he died before this book of his research was published) was a distinguished psychiatrist.. the book is about the biological and neurological basis for belief in god.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  wavvy

  Yes, I've heard of that book! Sounds very interesting.
• 
  38

  1975 -What the Watchtower doesn't want you to know, new Video

  by JWMediaFilms in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in light of the new convention going on; some of the topics were 1914 and 1975. the society is realizing their members are dropping like flies because of these lies.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaxbbvvoeeq.

  .

  to subscribe to our channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/jwmediafilms.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  wavvy

  scary and sad...the excitement in the audience was palpable. All those trusting and innocent people duped.