This is a great post. For me, with all my issues facing me, my two options are to a) fade physically and mentally, stop going to meetings and living to the standard set by an uneducated board of directors or b) fade mentally, still live like the JW but just know it is all BS. Where am I now? Wanting option (a) but working with (b). So many people have opinions as to what to do, but the only one who can really answer this is me. I weigh pros and cons all the time. Lose family and gain my freedom in every sense of the word, or keep family and feel as if I am in bondage at least physically. The loss of family is devastating to me. I think of the scripture where Jesus said if you give up mother/father/family for the sake of him you will gain so much more. I really have a hard time with that one on very many levels. There are relationships you just can't replace. You will never be able to take back memories and although you can make new ones with someone else, the ones you had will never be built upon if you lose that relationship. I liken it to building a skyscraper. You start building a 100 floor skyscraper but at floor 20 you stop for whatever reason. You then pick up and start building another skyscraper next to it. As you reach the top of your new skyscraper, the other one still sits there unfinished. Knowing what potential that one had and where it could be today devastates you because it is unfinished. And no matter how incredible the new one is, the unfinished one will always remind you of what could have been. That is why I hold on to family and my decision is so difficult. You make a comment about how much do "you value YOU". I have a very high sense of value for myself. I think that is why I am in the dilemma. I also care deeply for others. That is part of what makes me ME.
Thank you for starting this post.