Posts by Inquiry

19

Are there disadvantages to knowing the 'truth' is a lie?

by WTLies in

jw
friends

there was a character in the matrix who, after being released from the matrix, got tired of the real world and wanted to have his memory erased and his body put back in the factory so as to live out his days in a dream world.

have any of you ever wished you didn't know what you now know about the wt, or wish you could go back to the life where you had a sure hope and belief as to what the future would bring without your current knowledge about the 'truth'?

being 'unplugged' does have it's disadvantages.

Inquiry

I think the saying "Ignorance is bliss" kinda sums it up for me... when I was so convinced that it was the "truth", I was happy, but it was a pipe dream... I was happy at the expense of living in reality... how's that for matrixy... lol...

Now, that I'm not deluding myself, that innocent, naive, trusting conviction is gone. In it's stead is a healthy determination not to be hoodwinked again... I prefer the latter. But that's me.

We all have to grow up sometime...and loss of naive innocence is part of the process...I look at it kinda like any MLM now... getting tricked into making other peoples pocketbooks fatter, no matter the promises made is like being sold a car that doesn't work... it's a rip off, plain and simple...

Inq

6

What were your HARDEST adjustments, after leaving JW land ???

by run dont walk in

jw
friends

what things did you have the toughest time with after leaving the borg ???.

i'm sure family opposition will rank in the top 5, cut-off by people who you thought were true friends, finding work, fighting lonliness, immediate family problems (wife / children).

any thoughts ???.

Inquiry

Undoing the mind control and doctrines... it was and still is a lot of work... but I've come a long way!

Inq

10

Son goin to Metallica concert in Dallas,,,,,,OMG

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

well the day he and his best buds have been waiting for is here.

they are in dallas going to their first huge concert ,,,,,, i am not sure all the bands that are playing , but it is going to be a once in a lifetime thing.......so i let him go.. i am a little nervous about it , but i am so happy that he is living the life that i never could.

i pray and hope they make it home safe and sound,,,,,,,i know i have to let him go little by little, usually i would say , not safe,,,,and say no.

Inquiry

Hi Lyin....

I know exactly what you mean... my son just attended what is now dubbed "Sars Stock"... in Toronto... it was huge! and it was his first concert... He bought his ticket and then told me about it... He was worried that I was going to say no... but how could I? It was the Rolling Stones! and ACDC... and a whole bunch of others.. I was worried because there were going to be over 400,000 people there and I thought if something happened... well, you know how mothers are...and yes... we had a "little" talk... about pick pockets and stuff like that.... lol...

Well, long story short, he had a blast! He loved it! He's still telling me stories about what he saw, what people did and how much he enjoyed the bands... and all of my worries? for not... he's got a level head on his shoulders... besides getting sun burnt.... he did everything he was supposed to... I'm happy that he got to go to a once in a lifetime event and I'm proud of him because he handles his independence well..

I'm sure your son will do you proud too...

Inq

30

Fear

by onacruse in

kate and i just had one of our frequent "patio" discussions...my, how she sparks my mind!

we've been watching some tapes that a friend gave us, about the origin of the bible and the similarities to (read "borrowed from") other ancient mythologies.

very interesting anthropological and sociological information, even showing the biblical connection to astrology (e.g.

Inquiry

I remember all to well that gut wrenching, absolutely desperate feeling of fear... I had it a lot when I was a witless (not being worthy enough of Jehovah).. and I had to really wrestle with it when I went public (losing everything I "thought" I built up)...It was horribly traumatic, and the fear was really irrational...induced by mind control tactics, which I might add, work very well... and enforced by other members of the cult... the thing about that kind of fear is once it's understood, it seems to be undone... For me, the very basis of that fear, was being alone... Being abandoned by my "friends" and by God....

No such thing occured though... because in truth, I didn't have friends, I had enforcers... and I didn't have God... I had wishful thinking... so the reality of that situation was, that I was already alone and I was already abandoned... the irrational fear became a side issue... and when that happened, I was no longer afraid...

After I read CoC, and a several other books dealing with JWs... I realized I hadn't done the "dreaded" antithesis of the cult... read other religious material....So I picked up a book... it could have been any book, the one I read was New Age, called "The Christ Mind" and by reading it, I started to undo the WT programming. I can't tell you how many times that little book sailed across the room! I can laugh now... but at the time, it was really hard to do... I'm certainly not saying I'm new age...definately not...but during this, I found that for me, the issue isn't about having concrete beleifs... I've become much more comfortable not beleiving anything... just making room for the possibilities... I don't live a Godless life.. but I don't exactly live a God inclusive life either... I just live....and that fear... isn't there anymore...

Just my two....

Inq

45

What Did You HATE Most About Being a Jehovah's Witness?

by minimus in

jw
friends

when you look back at it, what irked you most about being a jw?

Inquiry

Like a few others here, I hated the back biting and gossip the most... I hated that pretense at affection and I hated the elders "lording" it over everyone else... and the worst of all... I hated that it took me almost 10 years to find out I was wasting my time! And for a time I hated myself for being so stupid ..... but I'm over that for the most part... I'm glad I'm well and truly out of that! I think a cold beer is in order!

Inq

edited for spelling... *sigh*

49

Musings of a new moderator

by onacruse in

jw
friends

part 1 (personal considerations).

first and foremost, i'd like to thank all of you for being patient with me this last week, and for the supportive comments you've sent me need, the constructive criticism you've offered.

i am, after all, only a man, and wts-damaged goods at that.

Inquiry

Very nicely put... thank you... I can only add that those who are "leaders" have quite a responsibility... and I think that you will fulfill that mandate quite well... I like your objectivity... it's much appreciated...

Inq

3

what do i say? what do i do?

by nowisee in

tonight i had dinner with my husband's godfather and wife (catholic).

she tells me that her son's live-in parter's daughter is 5 months pregnant, is in the hospital with kidney and bladder infections for which the doctors want to give blood transfusions.

the most shocking (am i still naive?

Inquiry

Your very welcome Nowisee...

I agree, it is heartbreaking... the thin edge of the wedge is already quite firmly in place for the young couple... and that is very sad... for them and those that care about them.... and for their yet unborn child....I've seen this happen myself... and against the best and most sincere advice from several parties, they continued... now, she is miserable and quite abused... she now has 4 children... just turned 20... two sets of twins no less... and he is frequently out of work, he's demanding and takes no offense to belittling or even hitting her... she though, very plainly loves him and is waiting for him to change... it's really very sad...

On the up side... these two.. .against the odds, may be able to work it out.. that won't be easy... and it's rare... but it's not impossible...

Take very good care..

Inq

3

what do i say? what do i do?

by nowisee in

tonight i had dinner with my husband's godfather and wife (catholic).

she tells me that her son's live-in parter's daughter is 5 months pregnant, is in the hospital with kidney and bladder infections for which the doctors want to give blood transfusions.

the most shocking (am i still naive?

Inquiry

Hi Nowisee....wow, what a dilemma! ...

I just want to tell you, throught personal experience that if you do get involved.. expect repurcussions from it... I'm not telling you though not to get involved... even if people don't appreciate it, you have to live with yourself... As advice only, I would try to inform the catholic side of the family that they are dealing with witnesses.... and help them to understand what that means...

IMO The relationship between the young lady and her fella is outta bounds... it seems like there is already a problem there and it would be better if the immediate family dealt with it rather than you... trust me on this one... it can be real bad for you.... if you become the focus of the situation, you will become a target too for their frustrations...

Also as opinion only... It's very unlikely that you will change anything in that situation, but you may be able to soothe your own conscience by acting. (every action has a consequence though, and it's not to be taken lightly) If you proceed, you have to be willing to accept that... or else you will probably end up, quite disappointed.

I hope this helps and best wishes, whatever you choose.

Inq

edited for formatting

49

Musings of a new moderator

by onacruse in

jw
friends

part 1 (personal considerations).

first and foremost, i'd like to thank all of you for being patient with me this last week, and for the supportive comments you've sent me need, the constructive criticism you've offered.

i am, after all, only a man, and wts-damaged goods at that.

Inquiry

I don't think that society's laws are necessarily absolute... they are constantly being reinterpreted to deal with specific circumstances, and after being interpreted each time.. the law changes even if it's just a little bit...new precedents are set every day... so you can't really look to a law and say, that's absolutely what you ought to do... of course, this doesn't include deliberately harming others... although it is a reason that those who do such things are given a wide opportunity to make sure that their rights as individuals, not necessarily law-abiding citizens are not being abused. That doesn't mean though that law can't be used to enforce a consequence for particular behavior at that time.

I think that rigidly applying a set standard is a mistake we easily make. It's very difficult to think of all of the ramifications or determine all of the perameters of any given situation... someone, somewhere will have a unique experience that requires a rethinking or reinterpretation. Laws have to be flexible....

I think right and wrong is just as flexible... and as one person's wrong could well be another person's right, strict adherence to laws or even rules can't be the only consideration... as Farkel mentioned, ethics, personal and otherwise must be considered... there's also personal freedom to live as we beleive we should as well as how that applies in a community context, and in larger contexts such as national and global... so law can only pin down something like a code of behavior for short periods of time... then the law must change to accomodate new interpretations.. or new experiences... it doesn't nullify that there is a law at a particular time which has to be enforced, but it can't limit laws ability to change.

Great thread by the way...

Inq

41

People are People

by minimus in

jw
friends

the more i read the board , the more i come to appreciate that people are always going to be who they are.

those that complained in the past will always be complainers today.

those that didn't have a clue about life while witnesses are probably still going to be clueless as exes.

Inquiry

Hi Minimus... I have to say that I agree for the most part with what you are saying... their seems to be an inherent side to who people are... I've done a bit of research on the matter... I'm thinking of Dr. John Bradshaw... he's written several books... talks about positions in the family... first, second, third and fourth children and their roles... I'm actually a first child for my father, but a second child for my mother... so I found it very interesting... I think that it's possible that the nature of a person can be inherent... unchangeable... but I think we can make choices on the best to worsts parts of that nature... I think if the nature is fixed, that's where we have flexibility... Maybe the older we get, having a variety of experiences with people of all sorts of natures... we start to recognise a pattern... especially if we've known a person since they were children... It's interesting to apply this thought personally too... examine our own natures and see our choices... good and bad... I think it can reveal a lot about ourselves and maybe help us to relate to other natures as well... Appreciated the post, Inq