Hi Wednesday,
I can understand how it's the only way of thinking you know. I just posted a relatively brief explanation today of basically where I'm coming from, I'd like to invite you to read it here:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=36464&site=3
Now based on that and what you wrote in your message, it sounds like both Jehovah and Satan are in denial about what is. See, another way of looking at the almighty and God's will is that there can be nothing else, God's will IS what is, by definition. Of course, this is a very different view of God too, but if you have any separation and even outright opposition then there can be no harmony, and also no absolutes - because when you have two it becomes relative, and God's supposed to be absolute. So you see, the concept you were taught as God cannot, by definition, be an almighty God just by virtue of the fact that there IS opposition. It doesn't matter "how it will turn out in the end", because if at any point in time something other than God's will occurred in any part of the universe that means he is not all-mighty doesn't it?
For you, I'd say dropping belief is probably the important thing, and basically you could say it's a matter of surrender to God, it's just a different set of language describing the same thing. Of course, this doesn't mean you sit around on the couch all day and wait for food and drink to be brought to you, but it's a matter of acceptance. If you look carefully at this acceptance, you'll find that it's also where unconditional love is found. You don't say I'll love you if you're a certain way, or when you do this and that, you accept them as they are. Sometimes the object of your love (this of course is really not an accurate use of the word, as there is no separation) may not do nice things, but that doesn't mean you can't love them. This is of course why Jesus said love your enemies. You mentioned the unloving attitude bothers you, I guess what I'm telling you here is that you don't need to receive it from anyone else, (certainly not from people that's just in denial themselves) but it can work through you directly. The thing with that is before it would reach anybody else, the love has to reach you first.
Look, if you could choose between having God and having books about him, which would you choose? Yet you can always have the first, because even all the religious people say God is accessible all around don't they? But that means dropping your beliefs about God, I only even use the word because I have to describe it in some way, but the less preconceived notions the better. When you get a clearer head you can read more, but at this point all those loaded words will proabably only confuse you. And of course, being around people who like to argue with reality and make up their own stories wouldn't help either. It's probably good to take a break from all that.