vikesgirl101

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Posts by vikesgirl101

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  24

  Where do you stand?

  by vikesgirl101 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi guys!

  i love reading everybody's posts on here.

  it's neat to see where the journey has taken them.

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  vikesgirl101

  Hi guys! I love reading everybody's posts on here. It's neat to see where the journey has taken them. Because I am essentially new here, I want to know more about you all. Are you disfellowshipped, disassociated, or just strayed away? What is your story?
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  15

  I should be DF'd

  by rockmehardplace in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was thinking about this site and the purpose it serves.

  each person has a different reason to be on here.

  some of us are in and want out, some of are out and need to use this as a way of communicating the hurt and repression and anger that they have experienced whether self induced or wt induced.

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  vikesgirl101

  Dear "Rock", I can really relate to your dillema here. It is so complicated leaving. I have done many things that would have me DF'd as well. At the top of the list would be apostasy. I do not mean to be bitter or negative. I truly believe in the saying of "Nameste". The spirit in me respects the spirit in you.

  However my journey has led me to search for not only solace, but a way of putting the pieces together. We have been conditioned that this is the "Truth", however we are not allowed to be curious about origins of doctrines. So I think about the scripture that says "Test, and see that God is good." Well he is good. He does make the sun rise on the wicked and the righteous. I have seen this myself.

  I do not believe God deals in complications of details, in such that a rule can change on a dime. I do not believe as we were told, that he allows these things to go on to see who is faithful. It doesn't add up. If you change the rules for your children on a daily basis, they become exasperated, and lose respect. Hence the scripture "Fathers, do not be irritating your children." Would our heavenly father do this, at the expense of his Earthly childrens sanity? My personal opinion is, no he would not. He believes in consistency. Afterall, he is a God of order.

  Don't beat yourself up, Rock. Embrace the newfound "truth" you are uncovering. I know that I am! :)
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  8

  Purple and Scarlet

  by cameo-d in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  what is the significance and symbolism of these colors?.

  how can we identify who or what this represents?.

  rev.

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  vikesgirl101

  I would be a little curious to know what they interpret those symbols in Relevelation to be today since I have not kept up with their changing views.

  This is so true. Who can keep up with their whims of deciphering Bible prophecy? Besides when it blows up in their face they can say something about their bright light getting brighter and brighter, leading them to better Bible understanding. I used to think there must be a level of schitzophrenia in their Bible translating. No wonder you could never miss a meeting. You literally can't keep up.
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  19

  So I am writing my letter...

  by vikesgirl101 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i thought i was done with the jw's.

  i knew they made an announcement last year about me.

  i assumed by the avoidance of so many, and my lack of enthusiasm for "the truth", as well as i have slammed the door on the elders many times now, exiled me.

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  vikesgirl101

  I love the idea of moving away, but I really can't right now. I have a year long lease here, and the kids are pretty established in their school. I think the fact that I have let the kids have a life is catching up with me. I have decided to not allow them (the borg) to intimidate my children into not having a life. One of my girls is in the community theatre (She took up Drama this year), and the other one wanted to be in our town's "Little Miss Pageant". The experience has been great for both kids. They love it. But it does show that my intentions are pretty much independant of theirs.

  My ex would have a real battle if he chooses to try to uproot the kids and get custody. He is losing his home soon, he owes me child support since October of last year, he is chronically broke, because he cannot manage money. My life is more stable. He doesn't have a leg to stand on. Pulling the religion card out of his a$$ this far out would be expensive and ultimately, very low of him. I think a judge would see through that.

  I like the thought of avoiding it all. That would be great! I wonder for how long it would work? Next they will be hanging on my window with a crowbar trying to get in.
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  19

  So I am writing my letter...

  by vikesgirl101 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i thought i was done with the jw's.

  i knew they made an announcement last year about me.

  i assumed by the avoidance of so many, and my lack of enthusiasm for "the truth", as well as i have slammed the door on the elders many times now, exiled me.

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  vikesgirl101

  Actually, here is how complicated it is:

  I left my ex-husband for good about two years ago. I have a restraining order on him, because he would just walk into my new home, at any given time. Usually, it was to snoop, or to tell me that divorcing him was unchristian of me. I maintain full custody of our girls, but he sees them twice a week. I actually had it arranged so that he could continue taking the girls to meetings. Then, he stopped going entirely to all meetings. Our girls who are 13 and 8, have no interest in the JW religion now. But that way he couldn't say that I was trying to raise the girls against the way they had been brought up. Truly, I believe in free choice. If my girls want to be a JW, whatever...Just do whatever your heart tells you, not some man.

  The relationship with my ex is only to be related to the kids, and that is all. I am sure he will take my dismissal from the cong as a benefit to himself. He will probably start attending again, to prove a point. I know that it sounds entirely judgemental for me to say that, but I was married to him for 13 years. This is what he does.

  Scarred for life: As for what I told the elders, I just told them I wasn't up to that question that day, and needed space. It was obvious I wasn't feeling well, so they left me alone.

  Does anyone know what their goal was in asking "Do you feel that you are under the authority of the Christian Congregation?"? It is such an odd question IMHO.
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  19

  So I am writing my letter...

  by vikesgirl101 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i thought i was done with the jw's.

  i knew they made an announcement last year about me.

  i assumed by the avoidance of so many, and my lack of enthusiasm for "the truth", as well as i have slammed the door on the elders many times now, exiled me.

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  vikesgirl101

  Hmm...You all give good thougts and advice. Do you think a letter is a BAD option? It will suck for me because my Dad is an elder still there. It will hurt them alot, but I feel that it is time to part ways. The issue is that I am not going to live by the their standards anymore. I divorced my ishy JW husband, and I may marry again someday (that makes me a harlot). Someone told me that if I divorced that I can never remarry (or date) ever again. I think this is insane. It's not that I plan to marry, I am just sick of their rules. The "No denim" law pisses me off too. How much of a cult is it when they decide the fabric of your clothes? I have a list of things that annoys me.

  I hate that we count hours. Doesn't God decide how valueable our service is to him?

  I hate that we ostracize "the world", but bang on their doors and ask them to join us in ostracizing others.

  I hate that tell you there should be an ethical format to your prayers to God. Let it come from the heart, don't tell me how YOU think it should be done.

  I hate that we disown family and friends because we think we are being better Christians.

  I hate that they intimdate others.

  Women are treated like they are lesser.

  So the question is be DA'd or DF'd?? If I tell them to stay away, will they just DF me? Will they look for dirty laundry to air out about me? What will they tell my kids? "Your Mommy is really bad...don't be like her."? If I say I do not want to be any part of them, disassociate me, will they leave me alone, and stop bothering me?

  Once again, thanks so much for the food for thought.
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  19

  So I am writing my letter...

  by vikesgirl101 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i thought i was done with the jw's.

  i knew they made an announcement last year about me.

  i assumed by the avoidance of so many, and my lack of enthusiasm for "the truth", as well as i have slammed the door on the elders many times now, exiled me.

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  vikesgirl101

  I thought I was done with the Jw's. I knew they made an announcement last year about me. I assumed by the avoidance of so many, and my lack of enthusiasm for "The TRUTH", as well as I have slammed the door on the elders many times now, exiled me. Alas, it has not. They broke into my secured apartment building last week (another issue) and asked if I felt I was under the authority of the Christian COngregation. WTF?????

  I hear writing a letter to them asking to be disassociated does the trick. Any suggestions on what to write? Someone said the less words you put in, the better. So it should be like this:

  To Whom it may concern,

  I, __________ __________,am asking to be removed as a member of your congregation.

  SIncerely X

  Any thoughts???
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  9

  How far will they go???

  by vikesgirl101 in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  vikesgirl101

  Thank you so much for all your great advice. I didn't want to blow it out of proportion, but this does seem like a real issue. I think I will start talking to other residents. I did move here because the elders kept showing up at my door. Security was a major factor for moving in. Their lack of respect is unnerving.

  Thanks everyone!
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  9

  What Do You Guys Think?

  by jamiebowers in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been df'd for 21 years, and other than the heartbreak of my mom shunning me and the sad stories i read here, i never thought the dirty rat bastard wb&ts could otherwise effect my life.

  well, i was wrong!

  my dear stepdaughter recently learned that her children's paternal grandfather has parents and siblings who are jws, some of whom were at my stepdaughter's baby shower this past saturday.

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  vikesgirl101

  Question: Do you know of a pedophiolist in the congregation you are referring to? If the answer is yes, then use all means to safeguard children: no questions asked.

  In my experience, I only know of one JW that was a pedophiolist (still too many). I can't say that it is an attribute that is connected with them neccessarily. However, The one that I know (In Northern Minnesota) abused many kids. He served time in jail, and was df'd. What is annoying is that he was reinstated within a few years. With as judgemental as JW's are, how can he be accepted back without wearing a sign at the meetings that says "Don't leave your kids with me"?
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  19

  How do you replace a family?

  by YoursChelbie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as a result of wanting to have a normal life, away from the dogma of the jw religion,.

  many have lost contact with parents, children and in many cases, their spouse.. my divorce was uncontested and i was fortunate enough to get out of from watchtower control with my children.

  my parents were never involved with the religion,.

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  vikesgirl101

  Wonderfully stated, Jamie!