Posts by babygirl30

My situation is a lil 'different' because 2 of the 3 elders and I had a run in a year BEFORE I was Df'd. These 2 brothers are VERY cold and VERY demeaning (borderline abusive) and I had reported their ridiculous comments/behavior to the CO (who handled it). At first when I wanted to 'confess' my sins - I ASKED to have 2 brothers stop by, and it was my P.O. (cong overseer) at the time and another elder which i am comfortable with. After that initial mtg, I specifically asked that the 2 elders whom I had issues with would NOT be on my JC - and a week later was told that the elders met and decided that those very elders I BEGGED not to be involved in my case (due to personal issues) were put on!

And here I am DF'd....over 1yr now. I guess I should actually THANK them now.

11

Family wont communicate - Disf

by w021809 in

i was disf'd a year ago - i have had such a hard few years to get through, some days are better than others.

i was married to a very abusive and violent man for 10 years (who everyone thought was the perfect witness) - i was very young when i got married and was never very close to my parents.

my parents never really thought much of my husband and i just always got on the best i could with what i was dealing with behind closed doors.

babygirl30

w021809

HELLO...thanks for posting your story. I SADLY see myself in it - and I wish PEACE for you as I am just now coming to find. Raised in the truth, played the 'role' of good JW daughter (on the outside of course) and for awhile honestly BELIEVED what WBTS said and taught. Ended up engaged to a very abusive JW (emotional, verbal, and physical) and apparently people in the cong noticed how bad I was looking and that something was wrong. Well hell YEAH something was wrong...when I'm wearing turtlenecks to cover the bruises, when I gained weight out of NOWHERE, when my skin was broken out all the time, when I cried at the drop of a hat, when I missed mtgs regularly....Um...WHAT part of all of that didn't raise a red flag?? So when this man kicked my ass /tried to kill me and I finally had the strength to call off the wedding and leave this man - I find myself DF'd. At first my parents were supportive and kept associating with me regularly. Of cousre THAT lasted 9 mos until I decided to STOP goign to mtgs at all. I had a run-in with an arrogant C.O. who called himself trying to 'encourage' me AND also a bad experience with my judicial committe and how I was treated. NOT to mention that my ex's body of elders did NOTHING to him...they asked him if he did what I accused him of, he denied it, they let it go!!! (his dad is an elder in their cong also). I was made out to look crazy, deranged, and the 'trouble maker' since I was DF'd and he wasnt. Well, by the time 9 mos came around and I was STILL Df'd and STILL going to mtgs, I had had enough! Decided that things were cracked UP and that I didn't deserve what happened to me NOR did I deserve to be treated like some piece of spiritual trash by a cong of people who had done far worse then I EVER had or would do! So I quit going - and haven't looked back. YES time caught up to my ex and he eventually was DF'd, and is now running from the law last I heard (pathetic loser that he is). But as for me, I have NO desire to ever go back to JWs...and because of that choice, my 'loving parents' (being sarcastic) have made the choice to shun me. So since Sept, I haven't seen nor spoken to them at all! I would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt to have to be fake when someone inevitably asks "So how are your folks doing?"...but what else can I do - THEY made this choice - not me. Makes me angry that they choose a religion OVER their own child - despite ALL I went through with the abuse and almost losing my life. Somedays (like now around holiday time when I have time off from work) it's difficult knowing that I can't just POP on by their house or expect a call from them. Matter-a-fact, my birthday is on Mon and they usually do the whole "we're thankful Jehovah gave you to us today" and THIS year , well, I'm not expecting THAT phone call at all!!

It does get easier though...it's been 1yr and 5 mos since I was DF'd, and I am FINALLY starting to feel like 'me' - the real me. The one I always hid as a JW, the one that my parents act like they are so disgusted of. In the end, THEY are the ones that lose out because they don't know ME anymore - their own flesh and blood. THEY can be embarassed when asked "how is your daughter doing" and they have no idea...and why? Because their religion tells them to be that way. UGH!!! There is a peace in knowing that the problem isn't 'me' anymore. I HOPE you are able to find that same peace soon.

28

How easy is it to pretend to be a spirtual JW?

by highdose in

jw
friends

for arguements sake, lets say you walk into a hall where you are not known and introduce yourself as one of them, how easy would it be to pass yourself off as a fully paid up devout dub?.

i reckon i could do it even now, pull out a doudy dress, look misarble, say all the right things and thanks to jwn i'm in the know about all the most recent developments.

.

babygirl30

TOO easy...I did it since birth!

23

Wow

by brainwashed-from-birth in

i ran into an ex jw i used to babysitt when i was a teenager.

that really makes you feel old, you know :-) anyway i invited her over for some coffee and we got talking gossip of course.

she was in for several years after me and was filling me in on all the juicy stuff i shouldnt care about :-) .

babygirl30

Sad to say...your brother is still locked INTO the org and so of course he is going to follow the 'rules' because THAT is what we're all taught to do. He live a double-life and continue to judge others sins while secretly committing his own! SAME thing is going on with my sister currently. This girl has been inactive for years, she has a child (and was only reproved), and confessed to me that she had an affair with her boss AND has stolen money using a credit card. YET when I get DF'd, she made it loud and clear (through a very scathing email) that neither she nor my niece (who is 3) want ANYTHING to do with me because I am 'dead' to them!!!!! And she has shunned me and made a production of how she is standing up for what is right......yet I guess SHE forgets that her closet is full of skeletons that she has yet to confess or that are publicly known.

It's retarded, but it's just the WAY of the org! As was said by LouBelle - it's not about what your brother did, it's about the fact that he is judging YOU when in actuality HE has no right! So that is between he and his God ...

32

Women as second class citizens

by iMARX in

i don't know about anyone else, but even when i was 14 or 15 i had an issue with the fact that women are weaker vessels than men and we are to be submissive to our "head" of the house etc.... people just assumed i was a moody teenager trying to be cool by disagreeing with those scriptures but i was a feminist in the making.. i even asked an elder's wife about it and i said to her: "you're a headstrong woman, how do you feel about this?

do you think you should succumb to paul's every word and do as he says all the time??".

she replied: "i hate that scripture too sarah.

babygirl30

JosephMalik

Thanks for posting that scripture...and breaking it down for me. I guess i still have some JW 'thinking' going on here and there and I end up confusing myself when it comes to commandments/suggestions/conscience matters/free will - UGH!!!!!!! No wonder everyone in there is on autopilot.

32

Women as second class citizens

by iMARX in

i don't know about anyone else, but even when i was 14 or 15 i had an issue with the fact that women are weaker vessels than men and we are to be submissive to our "head" of the house etc.... people just assumed i was a moody teenager trying to be cool by disagreeing with those scriptures but i was a feminist in the making.. i even asked an elder's wife about it and i said to her: "you're a headstrong woman, how do you feel about this?

do you think you should succumb to paul's every word and do as he says all the time??".

she replied: "i hate that scripture too sarah.

babygirl30

Now as far as the Bible says about respecting each other and treating each other with love (in a marriage) I AGREE with that! No matter who u r or what religious beliefs u have - respect is the name of the game!!! Where I do NOT agree is where is talks about submission...numerous talks have been given about how submission is 'not degrading' or the brother will claim it's not a form of 'slavery' - but I fail to understand how submission is anything other then the expectation that a woman is to completely LISTEN TO her husband. As a woman, I'm not some low level human being...I accept that I am may not physically be as strong as a man...I can live with the fact that I am considered more 'emotional' then a man (although in MY case - I beg to differ) - what I cannot live with is that a religion has ordered me as 'sub par'. Being raised in a household with a controlling father who felt his 'girls' needed to do whatever HE said and wanted, being raised in a religion of control where they dictate every move and I make and what 'privileges' I can and cannot have, leaving a relationship with a man who felt that I was his property and that he had the right to 'assault' me until I followed his direction 100% of the time. So tell me WHY in the heck I would want to go BACK to being a JW??????

28

Recent assembly

by Iwonder17 in

1) stop using internet,facebook,myspace,email,texting and spend more time studying and in service.. my mate quit their facebook page when we came home lol.

2) maybe i am just more tuned into it now, but they mentioned "apostate" a lot more this time around, espicially when talking about the internet.. it keeps me thinking, if there is nothing to hide, then why is there such a big push not to look?

it's like an ugly girlfriend not wanting her boyfriend to look at the girls on the beach .

babygirl30

The last D.A. I was at (last year) they really pushed for NO Facebook/MySpace/social websites/chatrooms. The reason being that they told everyone that (1) too much time is wasted on those sites when JWs could be studying (2) JWs could end up having unnecessary association with 'worldly' people and form friendships/relationships and (3) pornographic material could be sent/viewed on those sites.

Being OUT now, I realize just how controlling the org is...I mean, telling people NOT to use the internet, to TIME how long they use it (be watchful), immediately click off 'questionable' sites, etc.

14

Hillarious "Counsel" from Platform -Classic

by lepermessiah in

jw
friends

i got this from a close friend -.

this past weekend, the family attended the circus assembly.

i skipped it, and didnt get a hard time for not going, which was a first.. anyway, my family didnt want to tell me about a couple of points from the d.o.

babygirl30

Now THAT is that stuff that makes me mad...because inevitably, whatever is said from the platform - to JWs - is GOLD!!! They hear it and run with it. So ther eis some weakminded JW there saying to their kids 'Oh no more Twighlight - don't watch those movies....don't read those books' UGH!!! All because 1 man who has no idea what that pop culture is about, made a judgement call and wanted to receive 'oooohs and aaaaahs' in his talk.

43

Maybe being a Witness wasnt so bad?

by acolytes in

jw
friends

before i became a witness i was a shallow egotistcal happy go lucky married man.

i owned 2 houses which were rented out.i lived rent free in london working for a rich arab-.

due to being a witness i quit a job and a lifestyle i will never have again.. i now live in sweden with the same wife and have a kid- i can think critically.my good friends are those i met on the ministry (but never converted)-i have good friends from my congregation in england.

babygirl30

My morals...both my parents came from MESSED UP backgrounds, and so I becoming JWs gave them some type of 'purpose' - i'm guessing. Of course since I was raised a JW, it's all I knew, and I admit that if it weren't for the fear of getting DF'd and losing EVERYTHING...I stayed 'clean' for much longer then I ever thought I would've and continue to hold onto that morality. NOT in the rigid sense of JW-land, but in the sense that I respect myself and my sexuality - so I expect whomever I am WITH to do the same.