Posts by babygirl30

I was bawling through my whole JC (which lasted about an hour) and had just been physically assaulted by my JW fiance, I had visible bruises ALL over, I had recently been laid off from my job, and mentally/emotionally wasn't prepared to deal with any stress beyond what had already been tossed my way - and YET - these 3 elders took the opportunity to tear me up! The experience was liberating in that I didn't feel locked in anymore to those people nor the religion, but it was demeaning to have gone through such a trying time AND get kicked out the door of the ONE place I was always taught would give me peace and love.

9

Birthdays and Marriages

by zombie dub in

found an interesting page on marriage today: http://www.mysedonawedding.com/ideas.php?articleid=40&&catid=1.

rings - pagan.

veil - ward off evil spirits.

babygirl30

That is something I have ALWAYS wondered - WHERE did the whole 'idea' of NOT celebrating birthdays come from? Never made any sense to me. I respect the fact taht JTB lost his head on a birthday, and some other story in the Bible about a birthday where someone died...but does that suddenly make birthdays a solemn holiday we aren't to celebrate???

22

Some stay FOR the control?

by SearchingForMe in

jw
friends

i have been wondering lately...do some stay in the borg for the control?.

let me expand that question.

do some currently in the disorganization stay specifically for the sense of control it gives them over others(mate, children, family, friends) and the way it lets them have perceived control of others?.

babygirl30

serenitynow!

GIRL....if yours is anything like mine - then I am giving you a straight up CYBERHUG!!!!

My mother sees everything in her little bubble as 'good' and whatever doesn't fit in HER bubble is 'bad'. Personal freedom and thought has no place in HER world, and me being as independent as I am only led to us FIGHTING and arguing nonstop. I didn't need to go to the 'hood to see fights, I had black-on-black crime right up IN my home when we would go at it. -hahahahahaha

22

Some stay FOR the control?

by SearchingForMe in

jw
friends

i have been wondering lately...do some stay in the borg for the control?.

let me expand that question.

do some currently in the disorganization stay specifically for the sense of control it gives them over others(mate, children, family, friends) and the way it lets them have perceived control of others?.

babygirl30

the feeling of superiority JWs feel keeps them in the organization. Because so many haven't gone to college, don't have careers, in the real world they would be "nothing," but in the org they are told that they have real knowledge that even those who have been to the seminary don't. My mother is one of the superior JWs. She feels that she is better than worldly people, and most JWs because she really knows the bible (NWT). In reality however, she can barely keep a roof over her head. In all other aspects of life she is a perpetual screw-up. The KH is the only place where she has self-worth.

you NAILED my family to a 'T'!!!!! My mother has emotional issues, and so she throws scrip and doctrine in your face as if she sits at the right hand of God. LOL! She is NOT well liked in the cong because #1 - she is extremely judgemental, #2 - she feels she has the 'right' to counsel (brutally) whomever she wants, calling herself a 'seasoned sister', and #3 - she criticizes those that don't live up to HER spiritual standards (even though most things are supposed to be conscience matters). Add that all up, and you have one nuckin-futs woman!! I love her dearly, but she can be unbearable when she is in JW mode, and the worst part is that she can't FUNCTION without it...she can't hold a job, has many health issues, emotionally can't even handle keeping her house CLEAN let alone managing her time, she has NO friends (short of a 98yr old sister in the cong that lives in a retirement home and has stage 4 alzheimers - whom she calls her 'best friend'), she is not close to ANY family (not her own - and she can't stand my fathers family because they are all 'worldly') and when you try to speak to her about anything logical, she immediately breaks into tears and accuses YOU of disrespecting her. Without the JW 'aura' hanging over her head, this woman would crumble. She has no career and no life...so being a JW gives her a purpose of some sort - validation, where if she walked outside the JW world, she wouldn't even be noticed.

11

Were you told to avoid telling HH's that they would be killed unless they listened?

by highdose in

jw
friends

one of the many things as a child growing up as a jw that i never understood was this: a elderette told me her husband would be going to see the non jw freind of one of their sons.

it seems that the freind had directly challenged the jw son and asked " are you telling me that if i don't become a jw that god will kill me?".

the son hadn't known what to say to this, bearing in mind of course that the jw belief is "yes you will die at armargeddon if you don't become a jw".

babygirl30

It was NEVER mentioned 'outright' but ALWAYS 'implied'! Back when i was 21, I was dating this guy that wasn't a JW (ooooohhhh....the horror)!

Anyhow, this guy was RARE: mature, non-religious, comes from a GOOD solid family, college educated, never married and no kids! Top it off with him being gorgeous - and he was a serious catch!!!! To this DAY my mom talks about this guy and how she always liked him (and he really got along with my mom too). So my parents hassle him to study - they tell him "If you want to have our approval, you NEED to become a JW" so this sweet man does...he studies with the PO of my cong at the time. Then he just couldn't TAKE anymore...long story short...he quits studying and my young and dumb ass dumps him. Either way, point is that my mom was SO upset by this guy NOT wanting to study anymore that she tells me

"Well, he can't claim ignorance anymore. Once you KNOW Jehovah's name - you are held responsible. It's his LIFE that is at stake, he needs to realize that."

I remember CRYING (yes...at 21 hearing that broke my heart) and threw me OFF because I just could not understand how in the world this amazing man who had never done anything 'wrong' in his life would be killed by a God that WE (as JWs) were touting as 'loving' all because he made a CHOICE not to serve him? He had the biggest heart of anyone I had ever known, and his fate lied in the hands of an org that dictated whether he was 'accepted or not'? That was really a turning point for me...even way back then.

29

How many DF'ed on this board have actually had...

by tenyearsafter in

how many disfellowshipped ones on this board have actually had follow up elder visits "encouraging" them to return to the meetings?.

i have been df'ed for 15 years now, and i have never had one visit (i am not saying that is a bad thing!

) from an elder encouraging me to return to the organization.

babygirl30

I had visits by elders until I STOPPED going to mtgs....haven't heard from one since.

35

Did you feel embarassed explaining the Memorial to people?

by lepermessiah in

jw
friends

i did...... by the time you were done, they looked at you like you were from another planet.. it was the "you actually believe all of this?

" look.. .

babygirl30

I remember "explaining" this to a young man and he said, "This is something thought up by a White guy, right?"

DAMN!!! You don't know HOW many friends/family have clowned me about how JW's were a 'white' religion...LOL!!! Actually even though i was DF'd last yr, i went to the Memorial and also took friends of mine. We spent the entire time TALKING. Well, actually, we laughed through most of it...but it was at all her questions about the Memorial. That made me realize that I really wasn't there for the 'right' reasons and didn't need to go back.

For the record, I'm NOT going tonight either. This here black chick has things to DO!

12

Finally feeling it. Anger.

by SPAZnik in

jw
friends

anger.

i'm finally feeling it.

yay!!

babygirl30

CofC made me CRY and also hot with anger! Not that I was angry with RFranz for what he said, but I was angry that what he said was TRUE and that it was so plain and simple that only someone seriously 'mind controlled' could not make sense of it...broke my heart that I had been involved in such a group for so long and didn't see it! But the tears really were because of that 'aha' moment that book gave me.

28

I called my mom.

by lisavegas420 in

jw
friends

after more than 20yrs without a relationship....after more than 5yrs without hearing a word from her, i called.. out of the blue, i just called.. me: hi, mom, it's me lisa.

mom: oh, hi.. me: well, it's been a long time, i just wanted to check and see how you and dad were.. mom: we're fine.. the conversation ranged from, the weather, my husband, my children and grandchildren, (whom she's never met) my animals, gardening.

we talked about how dad was doing now, (after a stroke) how he walks with a cane, and uses an electric wheel chair when they go to walmart.

babygirl30

I'm happy for you - that you were able to talk to your mother. No matter how general or short the convo, it still was probably NICE just to have her attention for a few. Hope you can have another convo with her!!!

**Side Note*** It's really sickening how a religion that cries such 'love' between it's members can TELL a family NOT to speak to their other relations and to be 'cold' towards them. Makes no sense and is disgusting.