so i have a friend in a congregation in new jersey who recently called me to tell me that he got a divorce.
nothing surprising there at first but it is the fact of when it happened.
his wife began pioneering april 1, and after about three weeks she came to him and told him that about 4 years she had engaged in loose conduct (fondling the penis and the guy kissing her breasts) during a time that she was inactive.
Quire frankly if he lets himself be encouraged to divorce his wife over this then he needs to get a backbone. A marriage is a bond you stand together against the world, you love one another and you forgive one another and understand that each of you will make mistakes.
This is a minor thing that happened when she was inactive and younger. The elders are so pompous and self righteous and destroyed a marriage they are beneath contempt.
i went to post a packet today.
as i left my house i noticed a couple of jws boring a house holder to death.. as i returned from the post office i saw the area regailed with jws, many of whom i know.
they didn't see me as they were busy trying to foist leaflets onto people.
Feel so sorry for them, my Saturday's are much more relaxed, walk in the country, lunch in a country pub and now chilling watching Wimbledon. Spent quality time with my children rather than worrying about how miserable they were looking on the service and what a bad witness it was.
over the years i have had to deal with this problem personally and as a attendant covering my section at various convention centers.
i had people who were suppose to be decent jehovah witnesses pick up all the books, bags and coolers belonging to brothers and sisters who arrived at the appropriate time and picked them up and dumped them all at the end of the seating row.
so here is what goes down, the sister runs up to me panicking and saying "dear brother, i had all those seats reserved for my family and now look!
Assemblies bought out the worst in people. As I had a son with aspergers I was able to witness the intolerance first hand. As he is hypersensitive he found sudden noises, bright sunlight, excessive heat or cold very hard to cope with. On a couple of occasions when we had arrived early to get seats on the end of a row we went for a walk and came back to find things moved. When we explained that we needed ease of access we were treated with contempt. What was worse was when we were stuck in the middle of a row people would then make a fuss if you needed to take one of the children out so you didn't feel you could come back before o song or session end. The people on the end seats who never left during the sessions also never offered to swap.
I also has one sister complain that my son fidgeted too much and if he didn't stop she would have to leave. I told her not to bother we would go. In the end we sat in the car and listened on the radio. When we were told there would be no car parking at the stadium and we would all have to go by coach I said we wouldn't go again and we never have.
If the new world they talk about was anything like the selfish everyone for themselves attitude you get at the assembly then they can keep it. I can see them reverting to cannibalism before the first week is out.
as some of you may be aware i have been going thru a divorce.. .
the x has been paid her equity and maintenance in full.. .
now due to certain circumstances i am likely to lose my home, which begs the question:.
Speak to the mortgage company about the missing payments. If you have paid without a break previously you may be entitled to a mortage holiday. This will regularise the situation. If you have a poor credit rating it is harder to get a mortgage and the interest rate is likely to be higher.
Is it possible to talk to your ex and explain that you need some time to negotiate this and need to show at least 6 months of regular payments. I can understand why she is anxious to get her name off a debt but selling the property could take even longer to arrange.
Where did you hide that devout wife and how come I never met her?
yesterday i had a real blast from my past turn up un-announced on my doorstep.
she bumped into my daughter (who has rejected me) in sainsbury's, took her to lunch and got my address from her.
she claims she has been searching for me ever since she discovered i was back in the uk.. she is a disfellowshipped sister who was described by one of our elders as a wagon.
Good luck you are right to be true to yourself and let the cards fall where they may.
yesterday i had a real blast from my past turn up un-announced on my doorstep.
she bumped into my daughter (who has rejected me) in sainsbury's, took her to lunch and got my address from her.
she claims she has been searching for me ever since she discovered i was back in the uk.. she is a disfellowshipped sister who was described by one of our elders as a wagon.
Will you benefit from going? If the visit will stress you out then don't go. Only you know what you are able to tolerate and only you know the level of risk you would be undertaking by having increased intereaction. If she has family still in, and knows mutual contacts then you risk exposure. You will not be able to be yourself, express your real point of view or totally relax. It was a shame your daughter was not more discreet about your address or at least contacted you first.
I would politely decline the invitation.
i am not sure if anyone cares, but the drama with my mother and me leaving the org continues.. apparently after todays craptower she goes on a spastic rant that because of my decision i am slowly killing her and my father.
the funny thing is i do not feel bad over this... i can't.. i have children and a wife of my own that i need to be happy for.
i love them - but as they get older and closer to death i realize that a new season is coming and imust care for my family the best way i can... the same way they thought they were doing.
I am sorry that your mother is putting so much pressure on you. Unfortunately she is going into full cult mode believing this emotional manipulation and blackmail will bring you to your senses and you will come back to God's loving organisation. She cannot see that her unloving and aggressive response to your emotional and spiritual dilema is confirming your doubts.
At the moment she is trying to manipulate you herself when this doesn't work she may decide to go to the elders. Certainly her message suggests that she has total faith in the organisation. She has no appreciation for your perspective or your emotional well being and as you are no longer one of the faithful she will not even consider what you want or feel.
Whilst she is coming to terms with the situation I would keep your distance from her and limit contact. She is currently unstable and when she cannot influence you her attention will turn to her grandchildren, certainly they do seem to be a preoccupation in all her messages.
For now I would focus on your family unit preparing and building a life that will allow a smooth transition from the cult life to a more normal one. As you seem to be moving towards an end game take control of those elements of your life your have power over.
simon's thread about making a will reminded me of this issue, and the fact that many of you may not have given it much thought.. .
this is something that occurred to me many years ago - and i have a good friend listed as my next of kin (nok).
a few years ago, i had a situation where i was hemmorhaging, not capable of giving consent because i was heavily sedated, and the permission had to be signed.
It is also worth speaking to the family doctor or GP. As Jws we were encouraged to notify them regarding our stand on blood so that it could be entered into our medical records. If we have ever been to accident and emergency we would have been asked our religious affiliation and this would be recorded on the system. They do not ask this question on subsequent visits as they just pull up the original record and it may be there lurking regardless of our change in viewpoint. Unpicking our old JW life seems to take forever but it is worth updating our records to ensure that the correct medical treatment is available to us.
here it is.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4sednn9nli.
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cedars.
An identifying feature of apostates is jealousy. Really jealous of what? They have nothing I want and certainly I am not jealous of the millions having to drive miles to listen to this hate filled speech.
