Posts by nugget

64

Should I allow my mom to see the grandchildren?

by confusedandalone in

so i am not officially da/do yet and my family has shunned me hard.

today crying my mother calls me to beg to see my children... should i let her?

i feel that if you can speak abusive of your own son and wife and shun the.

nugget

In my opinion it is unwise to let children have unsupervised access to anyone who may coerce them or be a negative influence. By letting her have unsupervised access you would have no control over what she says to them. In addition you are saying to the children that it is ok for your parents to treat their children badly and you are happy to enable them to shun you.

I would say to her that she is welcome to come to your home any time and visit the children, but if she comes she is not permitted to talk about you and your wife in a negative way and she must be polite. You and your children are a package deal because you are a family.

25

I Am Home Today With A Lousy Back Ache

by minimus in

jw
friends

my lower back went out again.

typically, once every 9 months, i get a terrible spasm that can last for days.

right now, i am icing it but i am so sore!

nugget

I slipped over on some ice and bruised my lower back. I got some gel from the pharmacy which is powerful pain relief for bruises, sprains and strains.

9

They're everywhere! They're everywhere!

by under the radar in

jw
friends

i've been running into jws a lot lately.

some in person, others more by proxy.

last week, just as i was about to leave home for an appointment, the doorbell rang.

nugget

Never see them so you must have been particularly lucky or unlucky depending on your point of view.

13

What happens with a JW commits adultery and his wife is pregnant

by Jessc8877 in

im not a jw but my recently x boyfriend is.

he and were dating for the past 6 years.

i found out he had gotten married to a jw in the last 1and a half of our relationship.

nugget

This man is a total creep he has a prenant wife plus 2 additional girlfriends and is still not satisfied. Are you not better than this? His wife and his situation are his problem. This is not a relationship but a mess you can't be the solution only part of his problem.

In witness world if his wife discovers what a total scumbag she is married to, she can decide whether to divorce hin or not. As she is pregnant she may be under pressure to forgive him but this man is a letch and his pattern of behaviour shows that he will continue to be one. If the full extent of his behaviour comes to light then he will be asked to attend a judicial committee where elders will judge whether he is repentant. They will then decide whether to disfellowship him.

Find a man who loves you and isn't always looking for the next opportunity, you need to value yourself and be someone's whole world. This man doesn't value the women he has, to him they are objects and his interest is in what they can do for him. It is all about him. Stop facilitating his bad behaviour.

33

Ok... so Mom did the robotic JW thing and people in my home country know about me...

by ILoveTTATT in

jw
friends

so.... i went out all day today... just wanted to get away from the sh!tstorm that was created yesterday.

anyways... i come home like an hour ago, and my dad told me that mom called my aunties in central america and told them stuff about me, and also she told the elders of her hall... the elders want to meet with me, but i think that it will be at my house.

i am curious about your ideas about:.

nugget

It would be simplar to just leave and to hell with them, but don't be discouraged if you are not able to do that today. Life isn't a static thing, ciurcumstances change, time passes and options change. The decision you make right now is likely to be an uncomfortable compromise however tomorrow is another day and your choices can be different.

33

Ok... so Mom did the robotic JW thing and people in my home country know about me...

by ILoveTTATT in

jw
friends

so.... i went out all day today... just wanted to get away from the sh!tstorm that was created yesterday.

anyways... i come home like an hour ago, and my dad told me that mom called my aunties in central america and told them stuff about me, and also she told the elders of her hall... the elders want to meet with me, but i think that it will be at my house.

i am curious about your ideas about:.

nugget

Once something is said it can't be unsaid. Decide what you really want the outcome of this meeting to be and then act accordingly.

If your family is going into full JW meltdown then they will not be listening to you. The elders are not there to listen to your point of view but to establish whether you are a threat to the congregation, if the allegations are true and whether you are repentant and ready to crawl back. Cult members have immense power to dissappoint in these situations. They will not answer any of your questions, they will not debate doctrine but they will judge you. Within those restrictions plan what you want to say and do.

I personally did not attend any JC as I had better things to do but fully understand your expressed desire.

28

When A Fellow Apostate Goes Insane, What Can We Do To Help?

by RottenRiley in

jw
friends

i don't know how to handle the situation with a fellow apostate who has lost their mind due to this evil cult.

this guy is texting many of the elders under alias of six different cell-phones no less than twenty times a day.. .

we had to change the locks at the kingdom hall because he was still stalking and prowling around the hall after advertsing he had left the kingdom hall and we were all no less than mind-dead zombies sucking out of the life of thinking individuals.

nugget

Anger and the desire to do something are common reactions. Also if the local elders have behaved despicably and interfered with family ties then the stress is enough to drive anyone to extreme action.

The Watchtower society is a very difficult entity to have an impact on. They have groomed their members on how to feel and react to any threats so it is difficult to make an impression. What is important is that someone takes time to heal themselves and gain mental strength after an exit from the organisation. Launching any affirmative action whilst stressed and emotional may lead to someone behaving irrationally. This man is doing what he feels is right and is likely fueled by anger and a sense of injustice.

Is anything he is doing illegal? If so it will not be long until the police are involved. He may need to contact ICSA who can put him in touch with counsellors that help people exiting cults with counselling and advice.

13

please need some advice!

by insearchoftruth4 in

how would you handle a situation where your grandkids are being used by their father to manipulate their grandmother into going to the meeings?

grandkids sending text messages to grandmothers phone asking if she will come to their meeting.

grandmother is no longer attending meetings and doesn't wants to she know ttatt.

nugget

The problem is that grandma is already seen as bad association. A few visitis to the kingdom hall will not resolve this as once the JWs radar has you then nothing short of zealous worship will be enough for them. Random visits will also mean that elders will feel they have the right to pry into what you think. Son in law sounds like a control freak.

I would use supervised visits to reassure the grandchildren of unconditional love, that you would like to see more of them outside the meetings since in a more social setting you can really talk to them and find out what is happening in their lives. Keep away from the subject of religion and if the children ask why you haven't gone to the meetings then as has been suggested use illness as a cover. But say how much seeing them has given you a real lift and that you have really benefitted from seeing them.

13

please need some advice!

by insearchoftruth4 in

how would you handle a situation where your grandkids are being used by their father to manipulate their grandmother into going to the meeings?

grandkids sending text messages to grandmothers phone asking if she will come to their meeting.

grandmother is no longer attending meetings and doesn't wants to she know ttatt.

nugget

I am so sorry this is happening. Emotional manipulation is unsurprising and common and this is a nasty example.

As a grandmother it is natural to want to spend time with grandchildren and their father knows that this request will have greater impact then one from an adult.

How often outside meeting times are the grandchildren able to spend time with their grandparents or is it only at the meetings? Are visits conditional on keeping up the appearance of meeting attendance?

It is hard to know what to advise without a little more information. If this tactic is being used to coerce then there is also the implied threat that failure to attend will result in withdrawal of affection.

77

Should Creationism Ever Be Taught In Schools?

by nicolaou in

this is taken from the bbc's sunday morning show 'the big questions'.

i was going to pick out a few highlights but really, you need to watch the whole thing - it's only 23 minutes.

seriously, i could feel the bile and frustration rising in my gullet .

nugget

We are talking about science not whether someone holds a particular viewpoint and expresses it in discussion. In science people research theories and present their findings to other scientists for peer review. This body of work is then used to inform scientific understanding.

If there have been no papers then what has been discussed is a private viewpoint unsubstantiated by peer review, unproven and therefore an opinion not science. Otherwise any wacko could have an opinion on anything and children would be taught it.

When creationism has been subjected to scrutiny and therories tested then it could be discussed in science otherwise it is a religious topic only.