Happy Birthday, you have two good excuses for everyone to run round after you today. Wishing you many more happy ones.
Posts by nugget
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27MY BIRTHDAY....
by Quentin ini'll be 60 come sunday march 7...all those years managed to dodge hospitals and any kind of major surgery.
last friday went under the knife for the frist time in my life.
laid me on a table, butt up, cut into my left lung.
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17
Friend of mine wants out - small problem
by torn in two son ini'm fourteen.
my closest friend is fourteen.
we've been friends, for fourteen years.
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nugget
You have been given lots of great advice. The great thing is she has time to plan. I don't know how smart she is but in the same way JWs teach you to plan to pioneer when you are young she needs to plan her exit strategy. If she is smart enough to go to college she needs to make sure she is taking the right courses and looking for scholarships as well as getting involved in extra curricular activities that will support her application.
In this day and age even vocational courses are highly oversubscribed so she needs to plan and do the extra curricular activities whatever she decides. This is how she can partly sell it to her parents. This will also reduce the amount of time she spends on theocratic activities.
The other thing I would suggest is that she starts building up her alternative support network now cultivate friendships outside the org and make sure she knows how to contact her sister. The other essential is obviously don't get baptised.
I wish her good luck, she sounds like a smart switched on kid.
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27
Bullying JW's
by etna ini've just watched a program on tv about bullying (in australia).
and my wife and i were just commenting on how much the jw's bully so many of their followers, as in shunning disfellowshiped or disassociated ones, even ones that have faded.
their bullying tactics also invove using famiky members not to talk to them.
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nugget
I used to do research for health and safety literature and bullying comes in many forms, excluding people and sending them to coventry i.e. ignoring them and refusing to speak to them is at much bullying as beating someone up in a back alley. I was shocked to discover this and have never felt the same about shunning since.
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49
I can't help but feel bad about it all.
by MisfitMeL inok so i travelled home last weekend to break the news to my mum about my engagement to a 'wordly' man.. to be honest, i chickened out and instead of confronting her face to face, i decided to write a long letter to her about it.. we have never really got on and she has a knack for getting on my nerves.
she was very emotionally abusive throughout my childhood (and can still be).
i guess she had her reasons although it doesn't excuse the behaviour.. anyway i tried to be as diplomatic as possible.
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nugget
It certainly went better than it could have done you did really well. Your mum will feel dissappointed and hurt for a while, that is inevitable but it is good that she paid attention to your letter and didn't get hysterical so you were able to talk. It is good too that you have been able to maintain contact and talk on the phone. It looks like this is going to be a marathon rather than a sprint and you will need to do alot of positive reinforcement and understanding over the next few days, weeks and months. She is at the stage where she believes she can get you to go back to meetings and convert your boyfriend so that is where her focus is at the moment. Although this stalls the super nova be careful how you play this as it may increase the reaction if she has false hopes dashed.
If you want to connect with her pre cult personality ask her what she wanted to be when she grew up? Ask her what would she have done differently with her life if she had not been a JW? This gets her connecting with her earlier aspirations. If she had similar thoughts to you then you have common ground something she can relate to. Get her to talk about her past hopes and happy times you shared together. Build a bond with her pre cult self. When you talk to your mum don't forget to praise your boyfriend so she starts seeing him as a positive influence on you rather than a problem standing between you and the org.
Good luck and well done you did great.
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15
Letter to Mom
by Coffee House Girl injust in case there are any faders that need help breaking the news:.
i am posting this letter i left with my mother after i explained to her in person that i no longer wanted to be "in the truth".
you are not to blame, you cant make choices for me any more, only i can.. .
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nugget
Coffeehouse girl, very sad but don't blame yourself as if you have made a bad decision, you have made a good decision and the right decision. Your Mum has nothing to blame herself for either. She presented her belief system to you but after reviewing the evidence you have decided that this is not something you can share with her. You can still share love and affection but you will make life choices now that reflect your beliefs and ambitions. She taught you lots of good stuff which you can still use in your life whilst not choosing to follow her religon.
The society teaches us to play the blame game, I know it's hard but try and leave it behind.
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How do they justify not having normal human interaction with non-believers?
by dgp inhow does the society justify not allowing its members to have normal relationships with non-jws?
if i were to argue that this smells of the way other religions, such as moslems or moonies act with respect to non-members, what do you think would be the way to rationalize it?.
thank you in advance.
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nugget
The society always generalises about "worldly people". They tell the R&F that they have low moral standards, are greedy and dishonest, that they don't really want to be your friend that they will use you. Whilst this may be true of some worldly people it is also true of some Brothers and Sisters. The R&F feel that letting their guard slip for a moment could be harmful after all someone is not really a nice person if they do not love Jehovah.
It is a control mechanism by restricting friendships to congregation members you give a DF'd person no support network when they leave. It is also true that the majority are so controled the society does not need to justify their actions at all.
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39
The moment I knew it was crap....
by Brocephus inalready had doubts from the time i got pubes... but i was about 15 and we were studying the revelation "book" for the upteenth time.
i realized for every actual bible verse they qouted there was 2-3 paragraphs of conjecture, assumption, faulty logic and just plain stupidity.
that's when i began to plan my escape.
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nugget
It's funny there were lots of things that I knew were total BS. Back in the day when a sister had a talk explaining each creative day was 1000 years long was one. When I read in a magazine that radio carbon dating was too inaccurate to be able to trust for dates over 6,000 years old. The need to explain everything in minute detail and never accept that there were things they didn't know. That being said it is amazing how long you can keep sweeping the BS from the path and yet fail to notice it.
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Difference between "raised in the truth" and "converts" that are now X-JWs.
by Brocephus ini am noticing a difference..... "raised in's" seem to be a little more relaxed and better suited for their world after the kh.
"converts" seem to be a little disoriented.
maybe b/c they saw the truth as away out of this crazy world only to be massive dissapointed.
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nugget
My mum converted when I was in pre school and was uber zealous for a while but quickly settled into standard R&F. My Dad never believed and placed restrictions on what meetings we could attend. He also made us go to school assemblies, celebrate Christmas, do RE and other non approved stuff. It meant that I was always pretty good at holding my own viewpoint on things whilst knowing how not to rock the boat. Fading has been fairly painless so far mentally. I was angry and disappointed but also strangely relieved that I didn't have to justify the craziness any more to myself and particularly my children.
My mum who converted knows that I am not wholely convinced about the Organisation, she wants to hang in there even though she accepts that the men at the top may not be wonderful after all. Her problem is the guilt of bringing her children into the cult and knowing that this may have been harmful. There is a lot more mental pain there for her and therefore it is harder for her to let go.
I don't think you can generalise about people since length of stay in the cult, how exited and under what circumstances, depth of involvement and whether children are involved may influence how well a person adjusts afterwards.
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17
Random, bored musings
by sd-7 inat a certain point, you just get tired of watchtower-bashing.
i kinda miss the awesomeness my life had when things were more normal.
when i didn't know about being in a cult.
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nugget
SD7 I read your post, I hope it helped to put it in writing sometimes it does. You sound dpressed, the lack of energy and the way the problems seem overwhelming are very familiar. Remember as far as your wife goes, both of you have been through a stressful situation and both need time to recuperate. She may want to feel loved and forgiven for throwing you to the wolves. At the moment you are tired and stressed and in need of comfort and lack the energy for romance and She is using the child as a safety blanket.
If your job commute is exhausting there is no harm looking about for a new position closer to home, that being said you need to sort out your mental state before facing the rigor of interview. If you haven't seen a therapist yet then please make an appointment and go. They can help you see things more clearly.
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The Most Insane Thing Ever Printed by the Watchtower?
by Leolaia ini found this while perusing through old golden ages at the new york public library.
it is so patently ridiculous and offensive, i thought i'd just post the thing without comment.
*** g27 11/30 pp.
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nugget
Thank you it was worth discovering. I think if the org made us go back and study these old articles then there would be a race for the back door at the end of the meeting. The society seems to spring from a poison seed no sign of religious enlightenment there.