Yes, less stress, less anxiety, more time to spend as a family being a family. Less reasons to discipline the children and greater appreciation for non JWs. Yes much happier.
Posts by nugget
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56Since Leaving "The Truth" Are You Really Happier?
by minimus inwitnesses say that when people leave "the truth", they get involved in a debauched life, misery, and general unhappiness.. they give experiences of some that left the "sweet fellowship" of the "brotherhood" and the awful results because of it.
then, they come back and their lives change 100% for the better!.
have you found life to be miserable and unproductive since "leaving jehovah"?.
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nugget
Sometimes you need a female friend just to talk to. I miss a couple of girlfriends I had in the org. We would sometimes have the children round at one of the houses and just sit and talk about stuff. It is extremely relaxing just to chat about small stuff and laugh about silly things the men in our lives did.
If you feel the need for a chat PM me I miss the shared female point of view sometimes too.
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My Son Responds to his JW Mom's Condescending " Guilt Inspiring" E-Mail
by flipper insome of you may have read my jw ex-wife's e-mail to my son last night after i posted it.
this is my son's e-mail response to his mothers initial e-mail.
i think i'll just let this speak for itself.
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nugget
Well she got it back in spades. Your son made good points about conditional love and control I hope she pays attention to them.
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My Son's JW Mom Sends Him Condescending "Guilt Inspiring" E-Mail
by flipper infirst of all- a little history.
my ex-wife a fanatic jw seems to be in a pissing match ( not of my choosing ) with me over trying to get my son back into the jw cult.
he's 25, been out of the witnesses since 17 and he is very happy with his life .he has a great girlfriend, he enjoys gardening growing his own vegetables and he is a performing singer/guitarist now writing songs and performing in front of hundreds of people .
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nugget
She certainly gave it her best shot. The cult only allows a close relationship with other cult members so there is a degree of separation that must be a source of anxiety to any mother. I see it more that she misses her son but is constrained by her beliefs and with all the talk about how close to the end we are she has obviously taken this to heart. When the end doesn't come again she may settle down but at the moment congregations are being whipped up to another 1975 like frenzy. Living with this constant anticipation will make anyone slightly irrational
It must be hard for your son to receive such an email a simple acknowledgement of her love for him would have had a greater impact than this. I suggest in future he reads the first and last sentence and misses out the rest.
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nugget
egg and spoon
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Who do you consider as a friend ??
by troubled mind inwhen we were witnesses every other witness was our "friend" ,but more often than not they were just aquantinces involved in the same religion as we were .
at the time i felt i would have given my life for others in my hall .
i tried very hard to be a good friend to others by showing personal interest in their lives and offering encouragement or help when they needed it ,but i never really felt a real connection with most .. i always wanted to have a friend and be the type of friend that could just stop by to shoot the breeze at anytime and feel welcome .
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nugget
My husband and my family first off they tell me when I am being pompous and dumb. We can fall out without hating one another and we can be honest without fear of rejection. with a friend you can be yourself.
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I wish I could just not give a Sh!t about being an XJW!
by cyberjesus inmy whole freaking family is still in.
i am 5th generation and i use to have tons and tons of "friends" that are still in.
when i was little my dad was co substitute for years so we got to travel alot and meet even more jws.
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nugget
You are right it is a mass bereavement when you are distanced from family members by a stupid cult. We lost one family member this week and it was bad enough.
You are doing the right thing by building a life and reaching out to others. It is hard to form new friendships without the JW frame of reference. People outside the org do manage when they emmigrate to build new lives and new relationships but they all acknowledge that it is hard work starting from scratch but worthwhile.
If you didn't care you wouldn't be human in your position I would be angry and frustrated.
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I tried to talk to JW's today and they ran away.
by moshe ini spotted them out in fs on my block as i turned into my driveway, so i waited for them to come around to my side of the street.
they were in a huddle, 2 sisters and 2 brothers- the brothers had a young boy around 6 with them to get sympathy.
i had my 1924 wt book, the way to paradise, in hand and approached them.
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nugget
You tried and did good in the limited time they gave you. I've noticed that if you present a JW with difficult information they just glaze over and the light gets brighter comes up. Perhaps you'll get lucky next time.
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What kind of Witness were you?
by EmptyInside inthere always seemed to be some witnesses who seemed to be in it for the social aspect of it.
the ones who planned most of the gatherings and trips.
and the ones who got invited to the parties two states away.
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nugget
I was a witness because it seemed the right thing to do. I wasn't a socialite or uber zealous. I moved about a lot so had a wide circle of witness aquaintances but few very close friends. I always ran the witness doctrine through my own sanity checker so although I sought to make sense of the teachings I didn't take them at face value. Apparently I was always a closet apostate and could be persuaded to leave. That being said I didn't realise the full extent of the societies lies and duplicity until a few months ago how dumb is that?
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Argh, this is just getting worse by the day
by teel ina few months have passed since my relationship with my wife took a turn for the worse.
yesterday i finally questioned her about what she wants as for the future.
i know she will always stick with the wts, no matter what.
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nugget
Teel seek out a counselor with knowledge of the cult experience. There are some out there and they will know how to address the issues. If you haven't read the Steve Hassan books then it would be good to do so. You will often find that if you challenge doctrine then you end up going around in circles. He talks about how to connect to the pre cult personality. It sounds as if there are opportunities to do that based on your wifes past experiences. Talk about past times, her hopes as a young girl and how her life might have been different. Talk about the rock concerts and what you enjoyed.
It is also easier for people to see the flaws in other cults so talk about mormons and moonies and other high control groups. She is controlled by a group and needs to start thinking and finding the parrallels.
Don't go for broke too quickly this takes time and sometimes it doesn't work. When it does it is worthwhile.