This is something only you can decide. If you are not DA'd or Df'd then attending any JW event puts you back on the radar. However if this person was important to you then attending shows respect for him. However this is not a funeral for the person they are merely the excuse for the meeting. The family may be in for a shock if they were expecting a personal talk and having someone there who can express how much their loved one meant to them may mean a lot.
Posts by nugget
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14Should I attend a JW funeral?
by Flat_Accent ini mean, i had respect for the guy, and it's obviously right to be there for the family and show support.
however, i can imagine what it will be like going back.
i was friendly with a lot of the older, tougher sisters, so i'm sure they'll get on my case.
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45
The Little Aggravations: Things I Don't Miss
by simon17 inthere are some major problems with the jws, doctrinally, socially, and organizationally.
from shunning to crazy elder bodies to guilt trips, there are many things that were really bad.
this thread is devoted to the small, insignificant things that just really really irked you.
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nugget
I hated getting to field service only to find out that everyone had paired up prior to the group and I was left as a spare part.
I hated it when on a Saturday my husband and the olther elders went off on calls as a car group leaving me to work with both the children. Actually I liked being able to do a few calls and bunk off early but I hated the assumption that children were womens work.
I hated it when you had both the children with you on the service but noone volunteered to take one of them with them so you had to either go to the door mob handed or split up prior to every door.
I hated it when someone made their getting to the meetings your responsibility and laid on the guilt. Then when you had gone miles out of your way to pick them up and arrived home late they would offer you "a few pennies" to cover your time and expense. Trust me no bus or taxi would take you to the meeting and back for £2 or a cup of coffee next time you were out on the service.
I hated it when you got to the meeting and listened to a talk about widening out and being friendly and yet no one would come up to talk to you even when you had a baby in your arms that had fallen asleep and you couldn't move yourself.
I hated that everyone felt they had the right to tell you how to bring up your children even though they did not have the first idea what your children needed or appreciate that for them they had been pretty damn wonderful during the last 2 hours of mental torture.
I hated it when someone answered up and rambled for ages completely off the point I was mentally screaming inside.
I hated it when people took the end seats at assemblies and then frowned when you had to take children past them because they needed the toilet. You then had to wait until the next break or song to return to the seat so as not to get frowny faced or deep sighs.
I hated it that despite having 2 young children it was deemed a good idea to put hubby on the locking up schedule and then having to wait while people with zero empathy talked for hours about pointless stuff whilst your children were tired and fractious and had school in the morning waited for them to shut up and go home. If I seemed less than happy I was the bad person.
I hated it when you went out to a restaurtant as a group and half the people there didbn't want to pay a tip even though the service had been perfect. They also neglected to add the cost of their drinks to their share so some poor person at the end is saddled with the shortfall. Hubby once had to pay an extra £50 at someones engagement meal because of a load of JW short payers who had left pretty damn quick after supposedly paying their share.
I hated it when people were judgemental about other people's homes or what they had rather than being happy for someone.
The miracle is I didn't run out of the place screaming like a smurf sooner.
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83
Sparlock Drives My Wife to the Brink of Apostasy
by breakfast of champions ini reported the other night that we sat down to watch the new video, and while my wife was smiling and laughing while watching the first part, she stiffened and became quiet during part two.
it disturbed her deeply:.
"this is ridiculous.
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nugget
This is good news. Women in the organisation do not often suffer the jarring experiences that men who become MS's and elders do so the fact that the DVD made such a strong connection is fabulous. She was able to relate to her own experience and think about the impact of what the DVd was saying. She does not need to keep seeing it to reinforce this idea in fact pressuring her too much may push her in the opposite direction.
It would be lovely for the society to follow up quickly with another own goal but keep an eye open for other extreme messages that you could ask for her opinion on. It is little and often that counts and paitience but the DVD has provided a foundation which is priceless. Certainly spiritual food at the proper time for it.
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12
Angry/Pouty Father In Law
by TOTH inseveral months ago my father in law abused his key priveleges for the final time.
he barged in after my son and i had left and harassed my darling wife/his daughter and tried to bully her into giving him her pain medication.
when i heard about the situation after he had left we decided that the locks needed to be changed.
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nugget
You were right to change the locks as his behaviour is bizzare. Even when I have been given a key to some one elses property I have only used it when specifically requested to do so. A key does not give you the right to come in whenever you wish. Normal people would follow the protocol of knocking and where appropriate phoning ahead when visiting someone elses home.
The fact that he was sneaking in either means he was hoping to catch the family doing something they shouldn't or that he wanted to sneak in for nefarious purposes. Neither put him in the best light. Why should his daughter's pain medication be of any concern to him? If she was an addict then perhaps he may feel an intervention was required but to bully her into handing it over when she is home alone was not the act of a loving father. If she needs the medication and was prescribed it then he had no right taking it.
His behaviour when his key didn't work was again extreme. He may need some psychiatric help.
By not telling him he was the reason the locks were changed may be ok in the short term but does not address the issues including the right to be treated with respect and the right to privacy. It will be interesting to see if the act of changing the locks serves to moderate his behaviour but if he continues to visit unannounced and be demanding and bullying then it must be dealt with otherwise your home will not be your own.
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46
Did You Watch The Waltons?
by snowbird inif so, did you enjoy the show?.
i loved it.
missed quite a few episodes due to attending kh meetings, but i'm making up for that.. the show reminds me so of growing up in a large family, having to share everything, and looking out for each other..
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nugget
I caught it when I could. it was gentle drama with thoughtful dialogue. I remember when one of the daughters was hiding her boyfriend from the family and the father chastised her not for having the boyfriend but for the way she behaved. By hiding him she was devaluing him and making him something shameful. She was judging him and deeming him unworthy of the family. This reminded me of all those hidden relationships when JWs have worldly boyfriends or girl friends.
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12
Blood Card
by MrFreeze ini'm curious to know when you all got rid of your blood card.
did you destroy it after you left?
before you left?
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nugget
tearing up the card is not enough. I recently realised that the NHS has my old religion as part of my patient record. You may need to alert healthcare professionals of your change of viewpoint or in an emergency a hospital may assume you retain your original stand on blood.
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31
What to do with our money (estate) when we die?
by life is to short inmy husband just gave me the km for june.
i thought the question box was interesting.
it asks the question "what should be kept in mind if we want some or all of our assets to go to jehovah's organization upon our death?".
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nugget
this moves things on from merely leaving a bequest to the society it is now suggesting that someone in the congregation be the executor of the will. JWs are notoriously untrustworthy at such times. I can see alot of children disinherited when a small bequest to the society becomes a much larger share.
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94
If you got apostate vids on Youtube take em off now!!! Legal Dept to Sue!
by smithmandy1 ini've posted this on the wrong section so i'm posting it on here cos its sort of to topic as i know many of you have vids on youtube.
legal department are beginning legal action against google and its uploaders regards to apostate vids that slander the watchtower and/or contain copyrighted material!!!
my hubby knows people who know so heres my warning lol.
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nugget
As long as the Watchtower does things worthy of critique then people will post on you tube accordingly. So long as the people posting keep to the you tube guidelines which meet their legal obligations then there is no cause for action. Apostacy is not a crime outside the confines of a fringe religious group and I am sure the smart lawyers at the organisation are fully aware of this. If there was a cause for legal action against apostate videos then the society would have taken action over many others before now.
JWs like to believe that their organisation is all powerful and important and that all apostates are evil. Neither is true. The organisation is so insignificant that it is laughable and apostates are not forgiving when the society plays into their hands. This smacks of the usual JW arrogance and love of drama, the videos will be there tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.
If the organisation was truly benign then there would be nothing to say.
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nugget
no wonmder my son was scared by them.
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47
Was Any Part of it Real?
by Big Tex ini'm sort of following a stream of consciousness so bear with me.
i was flipping around on tv and ran across an old movie.
a couple had a one night stand and when she realized he had just used her she was shocked and told him he had said he loved her.
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nugget
The friends for life were conditional friends, the bible based doctrine was based on weak bible translation and political motives, the truth was a lie and the happiest people on Earth were all stressed judgemental people more interested in other peoples failings than their own.
The religion that I left was not even the same religion I was baptised into so it wasn't real.
That doesn't mean that the experiences I went through were not real or that people I grew to have affection for were not worth the effort. I was priviledged to get to know people and observe some truly lovely people forced to behave badly in the name of religion. It is seperating the real from the phoney that is the real art.