Welcome to the board. It is difficult when we have family still in. How does your wife feel about your viewpoint? I wish you well in your decision it is tough in the beginning but it does get better.
Posts by nugget
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43I'm New... and I'm running...
by running_away init's some kind of funny... i was the perfect little ass, even that i never believe it all.. there was something that doesn't sound right... but, i was little, i was with my family, i never believe that my family will make me adopt a cult.
well i get batized in my mid teen years, i was the exemplar, ms at 19, even serve my time at bethel.
get married to a pioneer, start a spiritual family, get my 2 kids.
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53
Why elders' wives are such gossipers...
by Calebs Airplane ini have a theory as to why elders' wives gossip so much.
i believe a big part of it has to do with the conversation running dry (between themselves and their elder husbands) after so many years of marriage.
since they don't get to spend too much "quality time" together (because of the elder husband's hamster wheel schedule), when they do have some intimate time alone, the elder's wives will invaribly attempt to engage their husbands in any kind of interchange.
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nugget
Elders wives have nothing to gossip about if their husbands tell them nothing. My husband believed that elders business was to be kept confidential and therefore told me nothing. No one gossiped with me because they guessed quite rightly that I would have nothing to contribute.
However although there were many wives who behaved correctly there were also those that did not. It has to be said that their husbands enabled this behaviour by gossiping themselves and revealing matters of a confidential nature.
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87
My Son is studying the lie, this is long but I need help !
by oldflame inlisten, israel: the lord our god, the lord is one.
the lord our god, the lord is one.
jesus is god: .
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nugget
I am glad to hear he is out. Hopefully the injustice he has experienced will be the spur to keep him out without making him bitter. It is also good he has you as a constant in his life and a source of unconditional love he is lucky to have you.
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29
My mother wants to see my kids
by mrsjones5 ini decided to call my mother more often at the request of my brother (the parental units have been driving him crazy and my calling more hopefully will decrease the craziness my brother has had to deal with).
so i called her last tuesday and the first thing that pops out of her mouth is she recovering from a weekend of babysitting her "substitute grandchildren" (her exact words and actually my nonjw cousin's children) since she doesn't get to see her own grandchildren.. wonderful .
there are reasons why i don't take my children to my mother's house.
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nugget
Your parents have behaved attrociously. I can fully understand why your husband does not wish them visiting at your home. A home is a place of security and respect. Perhaps a compromise would be to visit some neutral place and invite them to meet there. A park or restaurant, if they behave badly you can leave and hopefully in a public place they will be more restrained. The other advantage is that you can set a time limit and only stay for an agreed period.
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33
Please explain why the elders are doing this to us
by label licker ingot a phone call today from a couple from our ex congregation.
he was visited again by two elders(one in training) again.
third shepherding call within two months.
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nugget
If the CO is coming then you are right in thinking that there is a drive to clean house. People with ambiguous status have to be put in a pigeon hole and classified. However it seems as if someone is definitely trying to get you Df'd. I agree that they were looking for people to confirm their suspicions and were asking leading questions. What is worrying is that they have classified you as an apostate but lack evidence so are trying to force the issue. Why this has happened is anybody's guess and is probably down to one individual.
Elders have as much power as we choose to give them. I suggest that their behaviour is harrassment and defamation of character and a cease and desist letter from a lawyer may be the next step.
This organisation is petty and cruel and this is an example of this.
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75
JW family made contact....
by LouBelle in.....after 8 years of us being disfellowshipped.
the made contact through my aunt who is still 'in' - as in she has faded but is not disfellowshipped and will pop to a meeting now and again - she does this for my grans' sake.. the contact was from my aunt and uncle (he's an elder) these were the 2 witnesses used against me in my judicial case.
they contacted my aunt and said to forward the message onto us.
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nugget
LouBelle I think you had no other option but to do as you did. They want your money but not your company. They would happily bleed you white financially but not be willing to sit next to you at a funeral.
I am sorry your Grandmother is lonely but she has a congregation of brothers and sisters to visit her. The sad thing is that when people get old they are cut loose by the rank and file.
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74
Got a angry letter from our oldest son today we are very hurt from it.
by TotallyADD inwhen i got home today from work my wife showed me a 5 page letter from our oldest son.
he basically said he does not what anything to do with us because of all the wrong things we did as parents to him and his brother.
he blames us for not being there for him and we are toxic parents.
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nugget
As parents we try to do our best. Even when we are "good" parents we make mistakes and we can also sometimes repeat mistakes our parents made to us. Apologising is a powerful thing, your son is still angry and needs time to work through this before he can make peace with himself and you. This cult has far reaching effects even when we no longer believe.
At my Uncles funeral my dad asked what is the most important thing we have? Is it wealth or happy families or respect or power? No it is none of these things. It is life itself for without life we cannot accomplish anything or be anything. Life is hope and gives us a chance to make things better. You still have time and so does your son it is early days.
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35
At what age can a JW be baptised in the UK?
by jwfacts ini just received an email from an unbaptised publisher that made the following comment;.
in the uk the age of consent by law for a child is 16 and only then can they be baptized of their own free will.
is anyone aware of jws that have been baptised younger than 16 in the uk?.
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nugget
Churches and religious organisations are a law unto themselves. Under UK law it is unlikely that being baptised is regarded any differently to any other form of religious confirmation.
What is different is what the religious institution does with the commitment in the future. If a Catholic no longer wishes to attend church they simply walk away. The same is true for CofE and many of the other mainstream faiths. However for a witness child the baptism is not a mere statement of faith it is a set of rules they become bound to for the rest of their lives. If they chose to walk away from the faith they also lose family, friends and support.
In the UK there have been talks that encourage parents to persuade their children to be baptised at an early age as this will supposedly act as a protection for them. Watchtower articles have historically carried the same message. It is a cruel and heartless attempt to entrap children before they have really understood what they are letting themselves in for. The sad truth is that there is no legal protection for minors who chose to be baptised before the age of 16 and certainly no restriction in law.
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5
Latest WT kids' video
by agonus in...features a young girl who is preparing to go out in service.
this video was featured on youtube until it was "removed by the user".. .
to me this is another indication that, in spite of surface efforts to appear to be "mainlining", the wt really, really does not want anyone other than already-dedicated dubs to be party to this material.. .
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nugget
You would think that if they truly believed their message was benign then they would be happy to give it the widest exposure possible. The fact that the videos are removed shows that they know that the message is unpalatable to the mainstream viewer and even to a JW if it is not accompanied by the positioning statements that the watchtower gives.
Because these unauthorised postings show the videos for what they are they have to be removed because the message is not being controlled and the viewers are not being told what to think before they see it. If you remember back to the Sparlock video even witnesses thought it was a spoof video because seeing the message without the wrap around of doctrine and thought control simply made it look ridiculous.
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103
Do some x witnesses shock you despite being one?
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nugget
I have learnt not to be judgemental. If someone has lost their belief system and their friends and family then it is likely they will manifest symptoms similar to bereavement. Anger is unsurprising and a hostile reaction to religion is not unexpected. To assume that these are not valid responses to the pain and rejection they are suffering and to suggest that everyone has to be well mannered and respectful is a little unrealistic. As has been said we do not know all that has happened to another individual.
Everyone has the right to reach their own conclusions about God and to make their own choices. I do not find it offensive when people offer alternative points of view. Rather I find the debate stimulating and refreshing. Conformity is not condusive to robust challenges and after all isn't it better to revisit ideas and beliefs and find out how they stand up to scrutiny rather than blindly follow without question.
We are individuals we choose how we behave, sometimes we react instinctively but we share the pain of being tainted by an organisation that cares more for itself than for the people it claims to serve. I have been inspired by many of the examples of ex witnesses here and elsewhere and the only shock I feel is that the organisation is still able to do damage to so mahy lives and there are still people out there who blindly follow it.