Posts by FreeAtLast1914

92

Pre-emptive shunning - a growing reality

by cedars in

i'm scanning through some of the results from the 2012 jw survey as they're coming in.. the most populous of the six voting categories with 76 voters so far is my own category, for those who are inactive, or "faded/fading" (not disfellowshipped or da'd, but no longer reporting time on the ministry).. one statistic already leaping out at me surrounds the question "do you experience 'pre-emptive shunning' from active witnesses, who view you as 'bad association'?

" of the 74 who voted on this so far, 76% have answered "yes" to this question.. it's early days, and obviously i will have a clearer picture of the extent of the problem once the survey closes at the end of the year.

however, the results already in suggest that pre-emptive shunning is widespread among inactive ones, despite this not being an "official" policy of the society.. i was interested in your opinions as to why this may be?

FreeAtLast1914

My wife and I can vouch for the fact that preemptive shunning is alive and well.

Neither of us are DF'd or reproved, but when we stood up and questioned Watchtower-sanctioned policy (which honestly was a pretty minor situation) virtually our entire family on both sides began shunning us. It quickly ramped up to the point where over a dozen members of our family threatened to walk out of a room if we happen to stop by.

That was several years ago. Nothing has changed. These people are poisoned mentally and they don't even see it.

49

Another day, another apostate. Here's my story.

by I Want to Believe in

been lurking for a bit, and feel safe enough now to tell my story (condensed).. i'm a third-generation born-in, but my parents were inactive for most of my upbringing.

this means i got the worst of both worlds--no worldly friends (home schooled all but grades 2-3), no witness friends (since we never went to the hall except for memorial), and a generally isolated upbringing in a tiny, tiny town.

needless to say, my emotional, social, and personal growth were stunted.

FreeAtLast1914

Congrats on waking up, IWTB! It is very liberating to come out of that atmosphere, but the journey out (and the pain along the way) will be well worth it.

As you've discovered, info dumps are generally bad. The fact is the people still "inside" that mentality will see this as a hostile action meant to destroy their faith in God. You know different but they don't. So you have to take it slow so as not to trigger their indoctinated defense mechanisms.

Fading will be tough, but it can be made easier by not confiding in anyone (with the possible exception of your wife). They will write you off as spiritually weak, but will not generally distance themselves from you if you aren't engaged in info dumps. Even minor questions will trigger their defenses, so you have to keep telling them something like "I'm just really busy right now with work." That'll lump you in with a high percentage of JWs who are caught up in life rather than being at the meetings. You won't be a threat to them, which will allow you access to them and maybe someday you could spark some interest in others doing a little digging. None of this is possible if you tell anyone you have question, though.

And about the mid-life crisis part, don't let the JWs close to you keep you from enjoying what's left of your life. Take charge of your direction, give in to your desires (at least the ones your wife won't mind), enjoy an occasional cigar, go to a Christmas party, have fun at a casino. Whatever it is you want to do, don't put it off too long or THAT will become a regret as you get older.

Either way, glad you made it out (mentally, anyway) and enjoy your journey!

87

Is this HARD evidence that the INTERNET is hurting the Watch Tower Society?

by cedars in

these are the countries with 80 to 89.99% internet penetration:.

these are the countries with 70 to 79.99% internet penetration:.

these are the countries with 60 to 69.99% internet penetration:.

FreeAtLast1914

Great work! I expect this downward trend to continue. The more dogmatic they become in their positions, the more likely they will break in regions where the populace isn't in the dark. Hopefully in my lifetime!

69

What was the last meeting you ever went to?

by lilbluekitty in

i figured out it's been 4 months and 5 days since my last meeting ever.

july 10th, it was a sunday.

i hadn't been there in 2 months or so and decided to see if anyone noticed i'd been gone.

FreeAtLast1914

The last meeting I went to was at my parents' congregation. My wife and I were visiting them, and she stayed behind because she was 'sick'. I went to the early meeting alone (10am) so as not to miss any of the football games that day. Everyone else in the family went to the afternoon meeting because "that's where Jehovah scheduled them to go." I was already several months into being completely mentally out, but I was also in the routine of going to just enough meetings that I wouldn't receive too much attention. I was simply fading, but didn't know the term back then.

Anyway, I was sitting there listening to the public talk about how good and holy JWs are and how horrifically bad the world is, and how JWs are the most educated people on the planet and how the world is one big suicidal, drug-addicted, psychotic mess. And it hit me. What the hell am I doing sitting here listening to garbage I don't even believe in anymore? No family members were around to fake it for. So I walked out 15 minutes into the Public Talk. And never looked back. I went to a bookstore to kill time so as to cover for me being gone.

The last Memorial my wife and I went to was especially memorable. I was long gone by then, probably 3 years since my last meeting. She was deep into studying her way out of the religion herself. But she wanted to go to keep her parents off her back. So we went. And halfway through the talk, she began shaking her head. I noticed but didn't say anything. The more that guy spewed WT spin the more my wife was seeing through it for what it was. Until finally the speaker said something (I can't even remember what it was now) and my wife busted out laughing before she could cover her mouth with her hand. Strange glares from those sitting around us followed.

We left when it was over and she never went back.

39

How long can one continue as an unbelieving JW?

by mankkeli in

is it really possible to continue as a jw but not believing in it anymore.

for how long can one keep up with this pace of life?.

i will appreciate it if any scientific study had been done on this and what has the result showed?..

FreeAtLast1914

As soon as I realized something was awry with the religion of my birth, I immediately withdrew from giving talks (I was a MS), moved to another congregation, stopped going door-to-door, and immersed myself into researching what I thought I believed. From there it didn't take long before I stopped going to meetings altogether, maybe a couple years.

I personally don't see it as even remotely possible that someone can become aware of what the WT really is and continue believing. As soon as you are unplugged from the Matrix, you're compass turns to true north and the only lingering thought is how you could believe that bs for so long.

15

JWN is enjoying a renaissance!

by Mickey mouse in

jw
friends

the past few months we've welcomed a lot of newbies who have contributed a lot to this forum.

some quality discussions are taking place, the likes of which i haven't seen here for a while.

in addition, many are taking action to expose the watchtower society for who they really are.

FreeAtLast1914

Raised a Jw and now awake to the real world, I find myself not to be a joiner. But my time so far at JWN has been eye-opening at how widespread are the experiences of those coming out, and at the same time curiously similar. Glad I'm here.

Long live JWN!

18

Jw comments on the Huffington Post

by The Quiet One in

"anyone who actually knows the real reason for the personal visits to our neighbor's homes, knows it to be based on love.

love in imitation of that which jesus had in his own ministry.

the same one he taught his disciples to follow.

FreeAtLast1914

Now I remember why I left.

41

The Huffington Post has picked up the mentally diseased story!!!!

by discreetslave in

just posted by vampire665 on facebook.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/28/jehovahs-witness-magazine_n_985479.html.

FreeAtLast1914

I love this! Go Huffy.

37

Local Needs: Low Hours

by breakfast of champions in

the local needs was about low fs time in the cong.

about 1/3 of publishers are averaging 4 hours per month.

that is unprecedented in our cong, a usually 'zealous' congregation.. my take is this: if you don't believe it yourself, why are you going to waste valuable time telling others?

FreeAtLast1914

The Pioneer Shuffle comment had me rolling!

It reminded me of when I was young and out in rural field service with a Pioneer. He just kept driving around, seemingly in circles. So I asked him what the plan was. His response: "I'm getting a feel for the territory's borders. That way when we hit it, we'll go all-out."

Even at 15-years-old, I was like:

Still, I loved that fact that I didn't have to talk to anyone that day and still bagged three hours! After that I generally tried to wedge myself into his group.

311

"Mentally diseased" article to be published in The Independent tomorrow

by cedars in

hi everyone.

as a parting gift to you all before i take a much needed break from this forum, i thought you would be pleased to know that the independent, a leading uk newspaper, will be publishing a piece on the "mentally diseased" watchtower article in tomorrow's edition.. i would like to thank everybody who has assisted the journalist, jerome taylor, in his investigation.. best wishes to all of you,.

cedars.

FreeAtLast1914

I love this! Now we need similar articles printed in the New York Times, the LA Times, the Chicago Tribune, and every other major newspaper in America to begin waking some folks up.

Perfect. Thanks for sharing, Cedars!