Posts by JerryTX

Welcome aboard, Grillmaster. Quite a journey you've had. I'm glad for you and for Andi you were able to get the monkey off your back. Thanks for sharing your story. It's always inspiring to me to hear how people have beat a potential disaster in their life, whether it's drugs or a cultic religion. Andi is the most non-judgmental person I've ever met who had religious beliefs, Christian or otherwise. Certainly this board is exposure to an eclectic mix of people who have helped me to be more tolerant. Slowly but surely I'm getting to where you are as far as being more open and less judgmental, and the old JW personality is beginning to fade. Good to have you here.

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"The truth will set you free--but first it will make you damn mad."

M. Scott Peck - "The Different Drum"

19

Ideas about how to find my brother.....?

by tyydyy in

jw
friends

when i was 17 my older brother went to bethel.

our whole family was so proud that we had someone in high places.

lol well it didn't last long.

JerryTX

Tim,

I would use a professional service to find him. However, without a Social Security number I don't know how easy it would be. The link to the Salvation Army people locator service is below. I hope you find him. I'm sure he would be glad to see you again.

http://www.salvationarmy.org/safaq.nsf/all)/1DD962064A975ACD802568F9002A9317
(copy the entire above link and paste it in your browser address bar. I can't get it to work as a simple link.
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"The truth will set you free--but first it will make you damn mad."

M. Scott Peck - "The Different Drum"

30

AlanF et al, a little help please! Pronto Please!

by SixofNine in

jw
friends

i finally got that shepherding call.

1.5 years after not attending meetings, lol.. i'm sorry guys, but i was just disgustingly forthright.

i basically said that 1.5 years ago, i researched and came to the conclusion that the societies blood ban was wrong.

JerryTX

Hi Sixer,

The elders paid a visit to my house the day after Thanksgiving as part of their effort to spread a little holiday cheer.

This is my take on it. Being DF'd or DA'd complicates your efforts to help your relatives and friends still in the Borg. Avoid it at all cost. I admit it does feel good to vent some steam at elders, but do you really think it will change ANYTHING? They have an agenda given to them by Brooklyn. They will follow it to the letter.
All you can do is plant some seeds of truth.

I like these words of Jesus, "Be cautious as serpents." To me it is a game of strategy. You are still working on liberating family from the Watchtower. Why complicate that with a disfellowshipping? Sure, venting feels good for a little while, but what is the result?
Will your JW family begin shunning cutting any more opportunities for you to share the information you have? My take is as self-affirming as it is, avoid it.

I wish like hell I had never DA'd, even though it was under pressure.
Ex-wife kept turning me in. I am cut off from direct contact with my mother and brother who are still JWs now and cannot help them now.

When the elders came to my house a few weeks ago, I treated them like welcome guests. They even commented, "We can tell you are a good person with a good heart." (Hey, pretty impressive since I'm a known "apostate" to them.) Our conversation lasted almost an hour and a half, and I felt that gave me time to:

1. Establish a friendly rapport with them.
2. Tell my entire story of why I left
3. Share information that would help them see the lies of the Society

When they left, I felt sorry for them. It felt good not to be angry, and to have had the presence of mind to carefully lead the conversation right where I wanted to share the information I wanted. I hope I helped them, and it was almost therapeutic for me.

If they try to take action now and inform you of that, I would threaten to sue them in no uncertain terms. Tell them you will sue them personally as well as their congregation. Be matter of fact but firm about it

My two sense, Mark. Great to have met you the other night.

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"The truth will set you free--but first it will make you damn mad."

M. Scott Peck - "The Different Drum"

14

New Year's Prediction

by You Know in

jw
friends

this is an essay by some guy: .

the horsemen of the economic apocalypse.

i find my mind is becoming more elastic these days, as in the silly putty toy of my youth.

JerryTX

Perhaps "You Know" should take a break from pouring over the diatribes of the Prophets of Economic Doom and go for a nice drive in the woods to a secluded spot, park, strip completely nekkid, strap on backpack, go for a relaxing nude jaunt through the woods, reflect that although the world may be going to hell in a handbasket that there is no purpose served in obsessing over prolific speculations of people who are guessing and have an agenda to profit from.

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"The truth will set you free--but first it will make you damn mad."

M. Scott Peck - "The Different Drum"

6

What's your New Year's Resolution?

by ozziepost in

jw
friends

yes, it's that time again.

time to resolve to do things you've been putting off till a later date.

things that you want to improve.

JerryTX

I sat down and wrote out a list of exactly what I wanted in every respect: my career, my spiritual life, my hobbies, my lovelife, my physical appearance, places I want to travel to and see, changes I want to make in my personal outlook on life, and to meet more of you good people face to face. (We had a great time at North Texas Apostofest Saturday night. The waiters were cleaning up around us we stayed so long at restaurant gabbing away!)

It took a while, and I find I'm adding new stuff to it.

But my biggest *resolution* is to be less judgmental of people and their choices. And to gracefully accept *not knowing* when it comes to my spiritual life, whereas I was so sure and confident as a Dub.

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"The truth will set you free--but first it will make you damn mad."

M. Scott Peck - "The Different Drum"

49

What should he do? Can you help?

by Billygoat in

jw
friends

this post is triggered by freepeace's post on alcoholic relationships.

i'd like to share a story of a friend of mine with the hopes that you can provide some advice or insight.

he knows i'm a part of this board and understands how much support/encouragement/advice i get here.

JerryTX

Tim,

You said:
<<<you didn't identify and correct the real reason you couldn't control your eating. The ice cream was not and is not the problem. It's only the symptom.>>>>

Ah, but I did. It was a simple diagnosis. Blues + self-medicate with ice cream/munchies = mega size dude. LOL. I agree with you that we're always trying to change our state. That's exactly what I was doing.

You said:

<<<<<<<<I have 2 friends who are "alcoholics" who enjoy an occasional beer and it does not destroy their lives. The evidence I see is not overwhelming>>>>>

I agree there are exceptions to the rule, but the OVERWHELMING evidence backed up in scientific and medical literature is that alcholics cannot go back to drinking alcohol where it becomes just an occasional use for them. My alcoholic younger brother told me he could enjoy an occasional beer. It was a lie, as I found out later.
That was just something he said, and he was drinking every morning, afternoon and night. I never ever never once saw him tipsy or slur his speech. Yet it ruined his life. It completely destroyed it.
It was horrible to watch.

You said:
<<<<The problem you have with my calling myself an addict because I've been drinking for 20 ys is that it doesn't fit into your neat little package. That's the problem with generalizing and labeling.>>>

Ah, no biggie, Tim. I just wouldn't classify you or myself as an addict because we've both been drinking for 20 years or more, especially when you say you haven't been drunk but three times. The only time I would use the word "addict" is whenever something is causing a negative effect in my life or someone else's.

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"The truth will set you free--but first it will make you damn mad."

M. Scott Peck - "The Different Drum"

49

What should he do? Can you help?

by Billygoat in

jw
friends

this post is triggered by freepeace's post on alcoholic relationships.

i'd like to share a story of a friend of mine with the hopes that you can provide some advice or insight.

he knows i'm a part of this board and understands how much support/encouragement/advice i get here.

JerryTX

Hi Xena,

I agree that someone who smokes pot isn't an addict. It just depends what that thing (pot, chocolate, booze, shopping) becomes to a person.

Maybe a fun thread would be "Post Your Favorite Addiction"?

See you guys tonight! Don't dump any liquids on my head!

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"The truth will set you free--but first it will make you damn mad."

M. Scott Peck - "The Different Drum"

49

What should he do? Can you help?

by Billygoat in

jw
friends

this post is triggered by freepeace's post on alcoholic relationships.

i'd like to share a story of a friend of mine with the hopes that you can provide some advice or insight.

he knows i'm a part of this board and understands how much support/encouragement/advice i get here.

JerryTX

Tim,

I don't think being drunk, even slobbering/vomiting drunk three times in 20 years would classify you as "an abuser" by any stretch of the imagination. If so, probably everybody on this board would have to consider themselves an alcoholic. Me especially. LOL.

As far as getting grumpy when I don't get my lunch on time, I would say that qualifies me as a low blood sugar person, but certainly not an addict by any means. (Geez, when I was on the Atkins Diet I became a complete bastard I felt so irritable.) Of course, I do love good food and there was a time I was prone to munch down whenever I was feeling blue after coming out of the Borg. When I was a few pounds short of 300 (megadude size), I decided I was an addict who needed to get some control or seriously affect my health in a negative way. I used methamphetamine (good drug) to help me get started.

You say despite the fact some people destroy their life with drugs that that doesn't make drugs bad. I would agree and disagree with this statement. Some drugs are very bad and will utterly destroy you physically and psychologically. The few people I have known that did cocaine on the weekend or recreational basis were badly hurt by it. For *some* people, pot is very bad. It becomes addicting for their body/mind type. For a person who has had a near life destroying experience with recreational drugs, a new mindset is needed to prevent a relapse. Kammy had a near life destroying experience with cocaine. That's the critical piece of info in this scenario. You don't skate close to the edge of something that nearly
ruined your life. Can an alcoholic after years of sobriety go back to having an occasional happy hour or a few beers. The evidence is overwhelmingly no, unfortunately.

Can a former food addict go back to keeping multiple flavors of Ben & Jerry's in his freezer and keep his weight at 235? Lord knows, I've tried. LOL. There is no ice cream in my freezer. Too easy to fall back into old habits.

You said:

"If they can't compromise, or better yet, come to a mutual understanding of each other's wants and desires then the relationship will not be optimum. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. It's about working with each other. It is not about putting labels on each other that act as wedges."

Agree with all of the above.

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"The truth will set you free--but first it will make you damn mad."

M. Scott Peck - "The Different Drum"

36

What do you collect? Rare? $$$$$$?

by ashitaka in

jw
friends

i have a large collection of books, some fairly rare.

what are you guys collecting out there?

anything bizzarre?.

JerryTX

It was music. With the coming of Napster, I was able to get every piece of music I ever wanted.

Now it's dvd's. Bought the DVD player for Christmas, and already have about 20. I picked up "Life is Beautiful" last week and many other favorites like Shawshank, Gladiator, Last Temptation of Christ, et cet.

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"The truth will set you free--but first it will make you damn mad."

M. Scott Peck - "The Different Drum"