Good questions Prisca,
I really do not sit around pondering things like this too much anymore... although I _will_ admit that I have given many - if not most - of these questions thought in the past.
I feel that the experiences I have had in the past are now part of me - and make up who I am now.
I do not blame anyone - or any organization for where I now am.
I was once complaining about how my mom took me out of a junior college - saying that I did not need to go anymore (after 1 semester).
The friend I was telling this to told me that while I lived at home and was under the control of my mom - I could rightfully complain... but since I had left home, I could not rightfully do so anymore. I could go back to college and get my degree if I wanted to.
No better words were ever spoken. I have since realized that the only one that I can now 'blame' for my successes or failures is ... me.
Have I gone back to college and gottem ny degree? No - but I now know that I can if I want to - and if I don't - then it is my own bloody fault - no one elses'.
Regards,
Jim TX