Preston I knew I loved you!
joannadandy
JoinedPosts by joannadandy
-
56
What song best describes you?
by mamashel inmy family was playing around the other day, humming different songs from tv shows and getting the other one to guess what show it was.
then we asked what song best describes you.. my family agreed, mine would be ghetto girl, by little bow wow.
lol.
-
-
-
56
What song best describes you?
by mamashel inmy family was playing around the other day, humming different songs from tv shows and getting the other one to guess what show it was.
then we asked what song best describes you.. my family agreed, mine would be ghetto girl, by little bow wow.
lol.
-
-
joannadandy
Hmm....
Flower-by Liz Phair....lol...ok maybe it doesn't "describe" me. I think I just need to get laid...lol
Flower
Every time I see your face
I get all wet between my legs
Every time you pass me by
I heave a sigh of pain.
Every time I see your face
I think of things unpure, unchaste
I want to fuck you like a dog
I'll take you home
I'll make you like it
Everything you've ever wanted
Everything you've ever thought of
Is everything I'll do to you
I'll fuck you and your minions, too
Your face reminds me of a flower
Kind of like you're underwater
Your hair's too long and in your eyes
Your lips a perfect suck-me size
You act like you're fourteen years old
Everything you say is so
Obnoxious, funny, true, and mean
I want to be your blowjob queen
You're probably shy and introspective
That's not part of my objective
I just want your fresh young jimmy
Cramming, jamming, slamming in me
Every time I see your face
I think of things unpure, unchaste
I want to fuck you like a dog
I'll take you home
I'll make you like it
Everything you've ever wanted
Everything you've ever thought of
Is every thing I'll do to you
I'll fuck you 'til your dick is blue. -
56
Goodbye, I Hope You All Have a Great Life
by Robdar ingoodbye everybody.
i have enjoyed my time here for the most part.
i have made some great friends and a few not so great enemies.
-
-
joannadandy
Rob! You can't go!!
I will miss ya! My dark partner in crime.
I have your e-mail so we will just have to stay in touch I guess!
-
36
Life sucks
by joannadandy inall right- all those out there who own pets, or have owned pets will hopefully see my point of view and understand.
the rest of you can point and laugh at my weakness.... my cat is dying.
she is 119 in people years, i guess it's to be expected that she go sometime, but still it sucks!
-
-
joannadandy
This morning was not easy.
She jumped down off my bed, and was drinking water. She seemed "better". I tried to justify myself keeping her around for just a few more days, and then she shakily slumped over, and looked up at me. She was in pain, and not having an easy time with life. It had to be done.
I wraped her up in my old baby blanket, which recently became a favorite of hers. She always hated riding in cars, but she sat calmly on my lap and looked out the window. I was blubbering before I even got in the vets office.
She was a little nervous on the table, but I gave her lots of hugs and kisses, and talked to her like I always did; telling her how much I loved her, how pretty and sweet she was, etc. and she settled down on to the blanket again. I thought I was finally gaining some composure and I stopped crying even.
The vet gave her the first injection. She cuddled up in my arms and started to purr. That's what did me in. She was purring! Then she laid her head on my arm and just sat their purring while the vet shaved her front leg. Then he gave her the last injection while I was stroking her. I actually felt her take her last breath, and again, lost what last bit of composure I had.
It was very hard, and I've burst into tears at odd moments for brief intervals all day today. In fact as I type this up, sitting in a computer lab at school I am blubbering again--hahaha! Oh well.
Thank you all for your kind words and support, it has meant a lot to me, and it felt good reading what you all had to say. I know I made the right choice, and she died very peacefully and isn't in pain anymore. Now it's just me who has to deal with the pain.
Again thanks to everyone who responded to this topic. You are all greatly appreciated!
-
36
Life sucks
by joannadandy inall right- all those out there who own pets, or have owned pets will hopefully see my point of view and understand.
the rest of you can point and laugh at my weakness.... my cat is dying.
she is 119 in people years, i guess it's to be expected that she go sometime, but still it sucks!
-
-
joannadandy
All right- all those out there who own pets, or have owned pets will hopefully see my point of view and understand. The rest of you can point and laugh at my weakness...
My cat is dying. She is 119 in people years, I guess it's to be expected that she go sometime, but still it sucks! I am sitting here tonight and she is sitting next to me and I can't help but burst into tears every time I look at my poor old kitty. This week she has given up eating. She nibbles but walks away. She sleeps a lot, I mean more than normal for a cat. She only walks short distances then sits down to rest. She weighs next to nothing, her back legs shake when she walks and today she lost all bladder control. Tomorrow I am taking her to the vet. I know there is nothing they can do, and will most likely tuck her in for the long sleep good night so tonight is my last night with her. Ooops there I go crying again.
I feel stupid on the one hand, she is just a pet, nothing lasts forever, she's very old, we had lots of years together etc. But I can't help it. I'm a blubbering mess over a ball of fur. It's just I've never had a pet live this long. They were usually done in as kittens by cars, neighbors, or ran away, or got some weird liver disease. I mean I have had her since I was 8.
And she was my cat. She only crawled into my bed, she only liked me. She was just as crabby and mean as me, and we bonded. I like to think we had a bitchy understanding of each other. She follwed me everywhere. She would always come and "talk" to me in the mornings, and if I just made eye contact with her I could get her to purr. I can pat my leg and she'd come running. She always bashed her head into my shin, and laid on my books to make it impossible for me to study. Whenever times were tough I always felt like she was the one little creature who cared about my existance, probably cuz I supplied her with food and emptied the litter box, but if felt like unconditional love at the time. Hahaha!
So anyway, I am a mess and dreading tomorrow. Life sucks.
-
137
What Is Your Favorite Overlooked Movie?
by gilwarrior inwhat i am talking about a movie that you thought was great, but is mostly forgotten by most people today.. well, my favorite overlooked movie is "a perfect world.
" in it kevin costner is an escaped felon who escapes from prison with another felon.
they then break into a house and kidnap a boy who is a (gasp!
-
-
joannadandy
Smoke Signals--awesome movie, just got done talking with a friend just the other night about how great that movie was!
-
57
creating romance
by SPAZnik inwhat is the most romantic thing.
got any womantic storwees?.
i'll tell you mine if u tell me yours!
-
-
joannadandy
Oh my god Xena! That is so sweet!
Does your husband give out lessons? I have a few boys I could send his way for some instruction if he does...hahaha!
-
57
creating romance
by SPAZnik inwhat is the most romantic thing.
got any womantic storwees?.
i'll tell you mine if u tell me yours!
-
-
joannadandy
Once I went on a two week trip to visit my sister. The guy I was dating at the time surprised me by showing up for a couple of days. It was very sweet and a total surprise.
As for romantic things I've done...I don't do romantic things, I do sexually divant things in a romantic way...you in the back-stop laughing! It is possible! I'm not at liberty to give examples here, but I am available for consulation through e-mail! Hahaha!
-
10
Flowers
by joannadandy ini was fingering the daisies in a bouquet of bright spring flowers.
i mean guys buy girls flowers.
i was nervous.
-
-
joannadandy
I was fingering the daisies in a bouquet of bright spring flowers. Are flowers appropriate? I mean guys buy girls flowers. Girls dont buy girls flowers. Do they? I was nervous. Id never been in a situation like this before. I had no idea what to say.
Women love flowers. I love flowers, although I have yet to have a man give them to me of his own free will, just because he could, but only after-thoughts and begging got me flowers. Maybe I didnt deserve them? They were so pretty, so I grabbed them quickly along with the largest chocolate bar I could find. She had requested that when I had asked if she wanted me to bring anything.
The grocery store I was at was only a block from her apartment. I parked in the street out front. My head was swimming as I climbed the musty staircase to her apartment. There were still no words. Everything I had planned sounded so stupid. Her apartment was over the local drug store. The building was ugly, but somehow had an old brick charm. I had been to her place several times before, but never under these circumstances, or in this capacity. I took a deep breath and hoped seeing her face would make the words come. I feebly wrapped on the door because there was no buzzer.
She opened the door. Her thin frame looked especially frail. Her dark eyes somehow darker and sunken. This wretched vision of her only dried up what few words I had in me.
I felt tears well up in my eyes
Hey I stammered, How are you?
I could have kicked my own ass.
How was she? It was written on her face, it was etched in her posture, and the despair dripped from her eyes. Wordlessly she stepped back, leaving the door open for me. She glided through the dramatically decorated living room.
At 21 she had managed to have the most chic apartment I had ever seen. She had great taste; I never doubted it. I knew thirty year olds who didnt even decorate as opulently as she did. I always thought she should be a designer. Anything but a daycare/cleaning lady. She worked harder than anyone I knew and I admired her for that. I was damn proud of her. She worked her ass off with no help from anyone. I just wanted better for her. When you are ten years old and dreaming of success for your future, you cant help but dream it for your best friend too.
I followed her through the kitchen, the same kitchen that not three weeks earlier I had stepped into to find a pregnancy test on the table. That night she had called and simply told me to come over. It never occurred to me what she could have wanted to tell me.
The test window had two blue stripes. I could never remember what that meant. I always thought they should flash BABY or blink out a Well you owe God a favor for this one, behave yourself next time
She stood off to the side her arms crossed. She stared at me. I stared at the test, and then her. Well whatever two stripes meant it seemed it couldnt be good. I mean there were two of them. Thats a lot of effort for stripes. It would seem you would need two to signal something. Not to mention the look on her face as she watched me. When you have known someone since you were both in diapers you learn to decipher facial expressions with 97% accuracy.
Holy
Yeah
Sometimes they are wrong
She opened the drawer next to her and pulled out two more tests each with blue stripes a plenty.
I think the old ladies in the pharmacy downstairs are on to me.
Have you told Jason?
NoI cant get a hold of him
What are you going to do?
I...
Well youyou always loved kids, right?
There was a long pause and a forlorn look on her face.
God I want a beer.
We both broke into nervous laughter. Both of us knew what this meant. Her parents would never forgive her. A child out of wedlock was unforgivable. A crime punishable by abandonment. We proceeded to have one of our marathon conversations. Talking until both of our tongues dried out. We had always been good at that. I promised to help in anyway I could, it was feeble, but I meant it. A couple of days later I brought over a congratulations card, filled with vows of moral support for when she told her parents. I was always much better at written communications then face-to-face pep talks.
But today was different, though the emotions behind this event were just as mixed.
She flopped on her narrow bed, picking up a hot water bottle and tucking her legs up into her chest.
I didnt know you could feel so sad she softly mumbled.
Where is Jason?
Fishing.
Does he know?
Yesit actually happened last night. I called my mom and she brought me to the hospital, he was even working. I got one of the nurses to find him. I dont think he even told anyone at work yet, so I am sure they have plenty to gossip about today. He told me I would be fine, and thatd hed be home Sunday and would come see me.
That fucker is out fishing? I couldnt help myself.
I know, but its not like he could do anything anyway
Nobut he should be here!
I sat on the edge of the bed, trying not to jiggle it.
Did he even tell his parents yet?
Nope. He thought he would tell his Dad this weekendnow he wont have to.
I was seething!
Thats not fair! I mean, yeah his parents were very Catholic, of course they were going to be pissed too, but he didnt understand the consequences of her telling her family. There would be no forgiveness from them. Their religion was of a different more demanding breed. Hes a chicken shit, sorry, but hes spared telling them?
I know.
We sat silent. Im not sure how long. Silence has never been uncomfortable for us. I couldnt help but wonder if telling her parents had even brought this on. They had not been kind. I heard a few of the names that her father had called her when she called me sobbing on the phone. These parents that I had considered to be like my own, my second set if you will, were monsters. How they could treat their daughter like this I had no idea. I was furious.
My parents were of the same religious background. I began to fret myself. If these loving people could turn on their own child and claim that they loved God more than her, and that since there was a choice to be made they chose God, what would my family ever do to me? I knew what I was doing was wrong as well. I was dating men. Men outside our faith. Another crime punishable by abandonment. If they ever found out, what names would they call me? Where would I live? Could I repent? Be a good girl and find a good honest religious boy to settle down with? Not bloody likely. I was damaged goods now. No longer a virgin, and no longer interested in prudish little boys pretending to be spiritually wise.
I also blamed the church elders for this loss. Her parents had forced her to talk to them of the evil she had done. She had filled me in on that lovely scene as well. Men she had loved and respected all her life were calling her unrepentant and disgusting. They wept over her because she was such a disappointment to them. They had told her to never speak to the man who was the father. He was not of us. He was only after sex and would never really love her or the baby anyway they cautioned. They told her it was impossible for him to see the baby after it was born, and if need be they could draw up legal documents to keep him away. If she clung to her family and faith, the same faith and family who called her names, caused her to cry, and sink into depression, and forsake the man she loved, all would be well. Sound advice. She and I both raged about what the church had advised. Where did they get off? Had the stress and pressure of that meeting sent her over the edge and made her lose the baby?
A few days after she met with the church elders in that private meeting a childrens book was left on the hood of her car. Sometimes I Hate My Mom and Dad , a little story about a bratty child who didnt realize that his parents were only trying to help him. Attached was a note from a woman in our church. Youre ruining your families life, and all they ever did was love you! How could you do this to them? Again we raged. How dare she! How dare she when this was supposed to be a private matter? The gossip mills were already in full gear. If her parents had only loved her, why had they ceased to speak to her? Why did they call her names? Why had her family abandoned her? This woman had no idea about the secret hurt they had caused. This woman had no idea that the reason she worked two jobs, and 70 hours a week was because her family had never supported her, even before this incident. She was a girl and a constant disappointment to her father. No one knew these stories, but I did.
Thank you for the flowers. They are beautiful, she smiled and squeezed my hand. Jason never bought me anyever! She half snorted, half laughed.
I got ya chocolate too
She smiled, Thank God!
More silence. I was thinking, but not talking. Wasnt this good though? She didnt want or need a baby at this point in her life. She might not even need a baby with this man. He certainly wasnt proving to be one under pressure. It was sad, but wasnt this a dodged bullet? Problem solved, right? Sure she had told her parents, but they could forgive her now. The evidence of her misconduct was now gone. Christianity was about forgiveness wasnt it? They wouldnt have to stop talking to her; they couldnt call her names now. No more threats. Surely they would support her now after everything she had been through, right?
Her soft sob pulled me back to her small girlish and flower-dusted bedroom.
Its not fair!
This was not what I expected to hear. That was my mistake for expecting something when the unexpected strikes.
I was just starting to look forward to ityou knowa baby.
I always knew shed be a great Mom. When we were little she always wanted to play house, and had five baby dolls all lined up and dressed. I on the other hand wanted to play Barbies. I had several Barbies. All stunning, all career oriented, with pink convertibles, ponies, and boyfriends up the butt. She would concede and play Barbies, she has always been so flexible and patient, but the compromise was that her Barbie always got married and had babies. Meanwhile my Barbie partied with three different Ken's. The girl was born to be a Mom. She was phenomenal with kids. She really did love her daycare job.
I had accepted it, and I was going to be a good Mom.
You will be a good Mom.
Its not fair! I was looking forward to it! I wanted it! I finally wanted it, and then
Her sobs cut through the room. She cried for a good half an hour. I just let her cry. I didnt want to talk. I couldnt. I didnt understand. I would never understand. I knew it was a loss, but I would never be able to comprehend this kind of loss.
You know its weird. I want a baby now.
I just listened. Again, no response would come to mind.
I really want to be pregnant. I know I could do it. I need a baby.
Well this was a 180. We were no longer on the same page. She had matured ten years in two weeks. She was ready to be a mother. She wanted it more than she wanted to be a wife. What had been unthinkable and a hardship a few days earlier was now the only thing she craved - Motherhood.
Now the only thing we seemed to share in common was the fact that we each had a strong desire. Her desire would be to have a baby. My desire always had been, and would continue to be for a man to cherish me. A vain search it seemed.
I dont know what I would do without you.
Me? she asked.
I knew it was strange that I be saying these words, but they needed to be said. She was the only one who understood me. The one who put up with my tearful stories of the boys who had treated me badly. Here I was at this darkest moment in her life thinking of myself. I was an awful person. An awful person who didnt understand babies, or motherhood, or miscarriages. I was too fucking selfish and thats all there was to it. My own tears welled up.
Youre the only one who I could call today. My mother drove me home last night and said well I had lots of miscarriages before I had you so it is probably genetic. and that was it! My boyfriend is scared of his parents, and so scared of mine he couldnt even go with me when I told them I was pregnant in the first place! My boyfriend is too scared to be with me now. He told me, I dont handle emotions well, I need to work on that, fat lot of good that does me now! And the elders? Forget it! Like I would ever tell them anything again after the way they looked at me. Youre all I have. Now I ask you, what would I do with out you?
Its just a damn good thing we had each other. We were changed now. We were bad girls in the eyes of our church. Neither of us would ever be forgiven. Two little girls stumbling through life, and we always had to try to make sense of everything. Finding meaning in it all was our constant goal. There will always be flowers, and there will always be friends to share them with. We have each other to talk it out. And when there are no words, we have each other to sit through the silence so we wont have to be alone. -
41
Short truth about 9/11, Truth hurts you know!
by Legendary U.2.K. in" we are the cause of our destruction *(it's quoted different in the bible) / i believe that 9/11 was a bad day, we cry & mourn & move on, we get over it, i got over 9/11 in under 24 hours & to be honest i'm sick of hearing about it.... now i also understand that millions was not paying attention before 9/11 & they still aint paying attention.. if people would wake the hell up and read the bible they would already know that god already warn us to listen to him, and be on guard 24/7 cause that devil which we call satan exist and on the move to overthrow billions........ where is your faith?
jesus clearly said that not to sorrow for the dead, cause they will get resurrected when the messiah comes back- john 5 verse 28,29.. so get over it and heed jesus words....
-
-
joannadandy
But no one seems to care. It is easier to respond to the enemy overseas (Al Queda) than it is to work on themselves.
Yes you are going to catch heat for this...this has nothing to do with 9/11. Being attacked is a little bit different than dying in a car accident. Death happens. This we know, but to bring politics into this which is a day of rememberence for a tragic loss, on a MASSIVE scale is tacky. Today I didn't want to think about the war on terrorism, or Osma Bin Laden. I wanted to think about the people...PEOPLE who were lost, and who survived. This has nothing to do with blame and everything to do with healing.
