Welcome headisspinning, and congratulations on your child. The first thing you should do is continue with therapy for your husband, yourself, and as a couple. You and your family are not alone and not outcast and do not deserve to be treated as such! As has been pointed out, you should reflect that it is a group of 'worldly' 'aposte' strangers that are trying to help you with your situation and whom you feel you can vent too and not people that you grew up with. As for the slander and gossip that is par for the course, if your case is as 'high profile' as you claim then the elders will make an example of you and your husband and will wait a long time to reinstate you. BUT THIS A BLESSING!!!! Use this time to focus on your family and truly examine your beliefs, do research not just with Watchtower material but from outside sources as well (try looking up the sources the WTS uses in thier books). Where there any dreams or hobbies that you were interested in but never had time because of the 'theocratic work"? You might find in time with a little soul searching and not being influenced by your friends and family that it might not be the 'truth' you thought it was.
You can send anyone on here a private message (PM) to ask specific questions or you can just read everyone else's experiences ranging from dealing with abuse, shunning, and other topics that will help you realise you and your family are not alone.
ps 'apostate' is just a word used to label and scare.
Much Love
will_the_apostate