Posts by Thetis

36

Is your Intellect Pre-Enlightenment or Post-Enlightenment?

by Terry in

before the age of enlightenment the earth was filled with many nations living under vastly differing beliefs about the world.. tribes, nations and empires possessed fanciful superstitious beliefs about their own importance in the big picture.. religion helped man find a place among fearful gods and demons.

faith and belief, ritual and performance duties, helped man allay fears by.

becoming active in appeasing the gods and shunning the evil spirits.. judaism allowed adherents a means of ridding themselves of sin (animal sacrifice) and accounting for wrongs (justice via law).. christianity removed animal sacrifice and substituted fealty to the church (catholic).

Thetis

I think that I go back and forth over that bridge to pre-enlightenment. When I feel strong, then more towards the post-enlightenment side, but when at a low ebb, the other way. One thing I do know though, is that I do examine religions far more objectively than before. I try and examine both sides without the JW blinkers. However, not so easy to achieve. How do you erase a life time of brainwashing in a short space of time?

Initially I felt fearful when something major happened in the world - I knew I was doomed. I then progressed to accepting this fate. I now think neither...

14

Resentments

by JeffT in

jw
friends

i first heard this when i was in rehab five years ago.

i cant find the video they showed us on line may be just as well.

the speaker was a priest with some funny mannerisms but he knew what he was talking about.. .

Thetis

Thank you! You have no idea how much I needed to be reminded of this. I have just hauled out a CD of Wayne Dyer "Inside-Out Wellness" - The wisdom of mind/body healing, that I had bought some time back. I know what I will be listening to now. Thanks for the reminder.....

Every day is a work in progress to let go of this resentment and anger. If we don't have the tools to fight it, it is so dam difficult to stop oneself from spiraling down again. I'm so glad I logged on today. Thank you Jeff.

44

Thousands of people have come and gone from this site....is this part of the healing process???

by Witness 007 in

i see alot of new names here lately and if you look at the log on names here there are thousands who have moved on....every 2 years the posters change.....some vent and leave, others stay on for years.

i guess moving on with your life is a good thing, i think this site helps...any thoughts?.

Thetis

Like Tatiana and others, I don't think I will ever be completely over the JW experience but coming here has helped me so much in overcoming fear - the fear of Armageddon, the fear of actually getting a life - not living in limbo - still believing but feeling that I am worthless. Coming here has empowered me as I was always afraid to examine whether the things I had been taught my entire life, were actually true.

It's this unique history we share, that helps so much with the healing process. Having said this, I prefer to read as I am still afraid that someone will recognize my style of writing. Coward that I am......

And, I so wish that I could meet up with others and share that glass of wine......

So, Vampire, even though I am one of those that posted and then disappeared, I am still hovering in the wings... not bored at all. Just getting more brazen in my conduct. lol

24

The Greatest Lesson the Watchtower Ever Taught Me

by jamiebowers in

jw
friends

the greatest lesson that the watchtower has taught me is to give the love that has been taken from me.

our mother shuns my brother and me to the extreme.

just this morning she told me on the phone from her hospital bed that we will have to learn her diagnosis through the grapevine.. she wasn't always like this.

Thetis

When I read your post, I immediately thought of the Bob Dylan song "Make You Feel My Love"

"when the rain is blowing in your face

and the whole world(JW) is on your case

I could offer you a warm embrace

To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear

And there is no one there to dry your tears

I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love........

Your posts are so encouraging. Thank you!

50

A Short Introduction............

by Night Owl in

i am a former ms and have been active and inactive since i stepped down about 20 years ago.

i am currently inactive.

i may attend a meeting or two a month, sometimes none.. i have no feelings of animosity towards the organization, or anyone in it.

Thetis

Welcome. I do agree with you about resentment being that silent killer. However, sometimes we actually have to go through the various stages of mourning - loss of a life we could have had, loss of family and friends, and this mourning stage includes anger and resentment too - if only for a while. For some of us, being positive is second nature, for others, a constant struggle. It also depends on how devastating the effect of the org. was on our life, I guess. Just my opinion! It's wonderful that you do have that attitude though.

19

The pieces finally come together

by man in black in

this afternoon i got a letter stating that i was accepted to accompany a ww 2 veteran on a flight to washington dc to visit the ww2 memorial in september.. www.honorflight.org.

i also was called to check up on the health of several horses that some friends of my wife adopted, they are very underweight belgians, and these.

new owners want to make sure that they are taken care of.

Thetis

Only yesterday, I mentioned to my Mom that for the first time in my life, I feel I have the freedom to choose my friends - especially those ardent animal lovers who selflessly give of their time to assist. This makes me happy! I have always preferred animals to humans - growing up JW, this shouldn't be surprising. Instead of waiting for that elusive new system, I can now do my part for animals and not just turn a blind eye to all the suffering.

Your dog sounds amazing! Thanks for sharing.

58

At the end of my rope :(

by tec in

jw
friends

but i guess this is my first big rant.. this last year has been the hardest year of my life.

my son tried to kill himself ( he did something pretty bad, got caught, and i guess that's the only way he thought to deal) i am also very close to actually hating my husband, and i do not hate people.

and every decision that i make lately seems to be the wrong one.

Thetis

Dear Tammy, I keep re-reading your post as you have touched my heart. As a mother who has dealt with depression on both sides, I know how helpless one can feel in a situation like this, especially when you feel alone. Buying your son a puppy is a wonderful caring thing to do, and there are options available to alleviate his allergies. Even a purifier can be very effective. I agree with the others who say you should put yourself first. It's only by taking care of yourself, that you can be effective in dealing with this difficult situation. Good thoughts are coming your way!

23

What is your reaction when you see dubs with name badges? Here was mine:

by SnakesInTheTower in

jw
friends

one of the things i really like about being out of the cult is that i no longer have to go to those long, boring district conventions.

instead, i can do other things with my new family (fiancee and soon to be step son).

we were out and about sunday, i had taken the day off from work, no point in bothering people with collections on a sunday and a holiday.. we had planned to go to a suburb of st. louis, mo (st. charles) and see some of the vendors on the riverfront in the afternoon and then wait for the fireworks in the evening .

Thetis

Just reading about this scenario, makes me nauseous. I generally pretend not to see them - at least I won't be upset when they ignore me.

It definitely does provoke very unpleasant feelings, especially when I see how smug and all knowing they are. I guess being with a group gives them a sense of bravado - you surely need this to wear those name tags!

However, I am delighted to be free.

49

Have become seriously angry ...all of a sudden...

by Lozhasleft in

another thread has set me off ...the one about anniversaries ...and i read an extract that blondie posted on there....suddenly i am soooo bl**dy furious...so indignant!!!!.

why did we allow a bunch of men to dictate to us not only what we believed, but even how we parented our kids,and then even how we spent our free time?????

how could we allow this stuff?????.

Thetis

We must be on the same page, Loz. Just yesterday I started my rage journal. One has to try and mourn the loss of a life that could have been...not easy. Just when you think you have mastered your anger, it errupts all over again.

Be kind to yourself and vent!

38

Gratitude from a long time lurker!

by Thetis in

i cannot begin to tell you how grateful i am to you!

you reassured me while i was one of the walking wounded.

you know that line from the movie "shadowlands", when the student says to c.s.

Thetis

Wasanelder Once - thank you for the welcomb though!

OTWO - Yes,I was referring to that post. Thanks! Do you know that I was so bitter and so angry that I made myself ill. I know worse things have happened to people and I realize it's often a combination of life's events, but it still doesn't change the way I feel. I remember reading a book written by Alice Miller and she says something to this effect: "childhood is not the shortest age in our life but rather the longest because it stays with us forever"

I will be away for a while, so please don't think I am disappearing. Once again, thank you! (repetition for emphasis!)-