techdotcom

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Posts by techdotcom

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  32

  What's The Longest You've Been In A Relationship?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and if you were dating someone "seriously", how long did that last?.

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  techdotcom

  17 years of marriage and about 1 1/2 years of dating. Long time dating for a JW.
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  31

  After leaving Jw's did you go into another religion or serv. god ur own way?

  by average joe in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i am just curious if you guys left jw's and now worship in some other relgion or worship in your own way?

  have you sworn off organized religion ?

  if you have not sworn off organized religion then i wonder what relgion seems to be the right one for you guys?

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  techdotcom

  "I think it becomes pitiful when we feel that if there were no God, we could not live as morally decent beings with regard for the rights of others."

  Wow, really? I think it's entirely possible to have an ethical framwork for behaviour without having to believe in some kind of diety. Personally I was born into the JW's otherwise I would have never fallen for it. But once indoctrinated, even with my natural skepticism, it was difficult to shake it. I don't see any reason why we need god, in fact I see a lot of contemporary and historical examples of good reasons to not just choose to believe something and use that as a basis for moral conduct.

  edit: okay from re-reading you may have been saying exactly what I'm getting at...not totally clear. In any case I think the JW's produce quite a lot of atheists, especially from those born in.
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  40

  When You Left The "Truth" Were People Shocked?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i faded and when witnesses realized i had abandoned the faith, they were shocked!

  no one would've ever believed that i would've left!

  no one!!

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  techdotcom

  Not in my case, I was inactive for almost 11 years. But my wife.....oh yeah.....they still seem to assume I forced her to do it.
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  109

  Tonight I disassociated myself - after 24 years - had 2 hour meeting with Elder

  by Intel in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i am now sitting at home.

  my wife left with my little child.

  my fault (i dislike the word "fault", but don't have a better one right now).. it feels strange, relieved and free, at the same time it was all very strange.

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  techdotcom

  Wow, its hard but things will get better. The wife and I da'd about a year ago. We were in the same type of situation. I hung on for 10 years pretending to just be "spiritually weak".... All that happened was that she kept trying to suck me back in further, no meetings for years then the last two I started going to make her happier, so she wouldn't have to endure the akwardness of going alone. But last summer I had enough, I just couldn't do it. I was laughing at the WRONG parts in the meetings and rolling my eyes and was just generally having a tough time dealing with it.

  The only thing I did differently is sit her down and talk to her about what I was feeling and that I was not going back to the KH agian. I had managed to build up some trust and show her some info online and it was enough to wake her up. She was very much worn out tyring to do what she thought was the right thing, just like most JW's are.

  Have patience with your wife, do what you can and just maybe she will sit still long enough to listen.
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  104

  Open relationships, polyamory and swinging

  by techdotcom in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  has anyone else, after leaving the restrictive rules of the jw world, tried having an open marriage, joining the 'lifestyle' of the swinger comunity?

  we've been doing that for about 4-5 months now and it's been an interesting experience, in fact it's been a major distraction from the hell of rebuilding our lives outside the religion and our base of friends.

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  techdotcom

  Just thought I'd check in since this thread ended on such a sour note previously. Things are still good with me and the wife, we are still open and "learning the ropes" so to speak. I will admit I was a bit defensive in my responses previously but after re-reading thru this some of the comments were a bit judgmental.

  After leaving a fundie religion we felt freed to re-examine ourselves and explore some things we were curious about, like swinging and polyamory. We have settled into a part of that spectrum toward the poly side of things (more long term friendship with benifits) than with the casual, recreational sex of pure swinging. It's provided insight, enjoyment, some stress, and most importantly a distraction from the pain of the growing process that is inevitable after growing up, then leaving, a cultish, high control religion.

  I'd still be interested in knowing who if anyone has direct experience with opening up their relationship and how it worked out for them. While we are starting the process of meeting people in "the lifestyle" (silly euphenism) we have only met a few that have any experience at all with it, and none so far that started with or have a stable relationship like we do.

  So far flirting/playing with close friends has been on the whole a good thing but it will be interesting to see how the dynamics are different with meeting and "dating" others in the same mindset. Singles and non-open couples are tough because it makes it tougher to communicate before hand as to what people are comfortable with, running the risk of alienating a good friend or couple. We have been lucky with that as our immediate group of friends are very easy going and fun. Not open or poly per say, but accepting and we have had some spontaneous fun with them and everyone is still okay. It helps when you know people well and have spent a lot of time with them, to build trust and intimacy before hand.

  All in all at almost a year in and it's been a very interesting experiment and adventure. Frustating at times, true, but we have always been good at talking and compromise, so issues don't really fester or go unresolved. That may be one key aspect to making this work so far.

  A little update on current status: Wife has a friend she see's regurlarly, sort of an uncommited friend with benifits thing, I did until recently but that couple is having and as we learned has had serious issues for a long time. We did have quite alot of fun at a recent party with our friends and wow, the hosts new gf is a sweetheart and gorgeous besides. The new girlfriend apparently had never been in that type of situation before, found it very intense. Apparently she'd never really had fun with a girl like that or been in mfm or fmf situation before.

  All in all, yes, doing this has introduced new and different stresses, but it's also been rewarding and theraputic as well. Not for everyone and the trust necessary to do it is unlikely to be found in a new relationship.

  So off to the "swingers" club this weekend for meet and greet. Not crazy about it and nervous. We aren't into casual sex with people we don't know but we feel like going to meet and setting up dates, and to make friends with a common outlook and get to know them first should work well for us.

  Have a great on peeps, and if you are offended or outraged...well, I guess that is your perogative, it won't change me a wit.
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  8

  2011 District Convention Program

  by truthseeker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  9:30 song no.

  10:10 how we know that god's kingdom will come soon .

  10:50 song no.

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  techdotcom

  Are You Behaving as a Kingdom Citizen?

  Whoa.... some overtones of George Orwell there...
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  97

  On Jerkhovas Witlesses, Kingdumb Hells, Filthful & Discreet Slavebugger and Pio-sneering . .

  by nicolaou in

  1. forum
  2. suggestions

  i detest this type of posting.

  it's only my opinion of course and so long as forum rules aren't breached we're all free to express ourselves as we see fit.

  doesn't mean i have to like it though.. honestly, can't you make your point without this kind of infantile name calling?

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  techdotcom

  Apostate is an appropriate label for one who has left a faith. It's what they attribute to appostates that is often without merit and biased. The words in the subject of this thread however are in of themselves insulting and biased. That being said, eh, people should grow some thicker skin. However, the point is well made that these words are most likely off putting for those on the fence and exploring the information about the society online.
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  104

  Open relationships, polyamory and swinging

  by techdotcom in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  has anyone else, after leaving the restrictive rules of the jw world, tried having an open marriage, joining the 'lifestyle' of the swinger comunity?

  we've been doing that for about 4-5 months now and it's been an interesting experience, in fact it's been a major distraction from the hell of rebuilding our lives outside the religion and our base of friends.

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  techdotcom

  Hmm..been busy with our first Christmas so havn't had time to get on here and see what responses I'd gotten till now. Wow, what a negative reaction. I'm a bit suprised but I suppose I shouldn't be.

  Ok Mrs. Jones if you insist, STFU. You offer no insight or meaningful thoughts for the thread, and the term troll has little to do with thread count, and much to do with posting inflamatory comments designed to start an argument or 'flame war', but you should be familiar with that term as well. But honestly judging from your comments I'm not suprised you don't understand that. I don't give a shit if you are a fan. You seem to have very poor reading/comprehension skills or you would have picked up on the purpose of the thread in the first place.

  Once agian, I am not advocating the 'lifestyle', nor am I claiming that it is without risks or stresses.

  I suppose you can take the judgmental person out of the JW religion but still have the judgemental attudude and lack of mental flexibility remain. The only thing you seem to want to do here is vent anger and disgust, and having been a JW I can certainly understand that. I simply wanted to discuss something interesting we have tried and get a feeling for how others see that and also to see how common it might be for someone coming out of a repressive religion to experiment with alternatives like swinging.

  I wish all of you the best and sincerly hope that you find what you are needing outside of the religion at some point and are able to leave this excessive amount of negativity behind you. And once agian WOW, I guess I hit a nerve with the reaction I got here.
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  29

  Is it possible for the WT society to ever convince us of true reform?

  by james_woods in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i got to thinking about this and for me anyway, they would have to come clean on at least the following things:.

  an honest retraction must be made on all the ridiculous chronology (of course including the false prophecies).

  by this i mean, stop this psuedo numerology stuff of adding up this or that date, adding on x many years, etc.

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  techdotcom

  It seems likey that a huge change in doctrine and becoming more transparent about their past would do little more than break it apart and create splinter groups based on parts or all of the old teachings. My guess is that due to fear of this happening that even an honest hearted one among them would not back such a plan. Anything is possible, but it seems unlikely.
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  5

  Religion and Sex

  by whereami in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this poor caller/christian had no chance.. .

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo8eubj23dq.

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  techdotcom

  It would be interesting to study and research how past and current religions coop the sex drive as a means to further their goals, either for control or enticement. As a fundamental urge, and one that few people spend analyzing I can see where it could be an effective path to minipulation of a persons thought processes and actions.