Posts by EmergedAsMe

30

Did you ever have the Elders check out a prospective marriage mate 4U?

by Open mind in

or, to your knowledge, did anyone ever make any inquiries of your local elders as to your "spiritual health" and suitability for courtship?.

how'd that work out for you?.

om.

EmergedAsMe

I had a bit of a different experience... My husband was warned off the sister he was courting before me (OK at the time I was secretly glad cos otherwise I may not have got my hubby). I found what the elder said to my husband about her and I thought it was really mean and over the top (borderline slanderous/nasty) because I actually knew her story and admitedly she made "mistakes" (in JW world anyway, normal world it was all normal) but she was not at all how the elder made her out to be (and he hardly knew her apart from the file). If my husband hadn't told me I never would have known.

I think it was my first true insight into the attitude towards woman and dangers of a bunch of men having personal files on everyone. How embarassing, humiliating and demeaning the whole concept of a file with all your misdemenors (especially sexual ones) is! And then when that is used to advice someone whether you are marriage material or not... It is just nuts!

34

Inappropriate - Sick - WT & Awake articles over the years.

by Essan in

i remember as a kid reading an article - not sure if watchtower or awake - which terrified the life out of me!

i remember thinking at the time "ok, this may be true, but i'm just a kid, i shouldn't be reading this!".

some of the details remain imprinted on my mind decades later.

EmergedAsMe

Yes...

When I was a kid I was terrified of being treated how the nazis treated the jews. I remember a story about a congregation that hid in the roof and everyone had to be silent as they were raided by someone (I can't remember, probably nazis). I remember my mother asking me if I could be silent enough, and how any noise and they could all die. Imagine a child having to feel like they could realistically be in a situation where their life depended on whether they made a single sound or not!! (Well... I am sure many of you do not need to imagine feeling that way). The stories that were more graphic like public beatings and rape really bothered me – because I felt so bad for those people.

It is horrible growing up feeling like you have a real potential to be tortured, humiliated and raped. And all in the name of something I wasn't sure of. How unfair it sometimes seemed to have been born a JW!

24

Most hated Rules and Regulations

by Bendrr in

jw
friends

the thread about "clinking" got me to thinking.. what were the rules you hated most?

rules that were just so boneheaded as to be infuriating.. there are so many rules and regulations to follow as a dub.

some rules may not even be able to be referenced in the publications, at least not firmly and clearly.

EmergedAsMe

The insistance on ignorance and lack of education.

BTW this thread depresses me a little as I got baptized the year it began, and wasted my "college years" pioneering and other waste of time pursuits!!

31

Fill in the blank: Apostates Are the Most ___________ People on Earth

by undercover in

jw
friends

.

EmergedAsMe

free

69

People Who Refuse to Tip at Restaurants are Embarrassing!

by White Dove in

jw
friends

egg and i were treated out to dinner three times last weekend by out of state visiting relatives.

just found out last night that they don't believe in tipping, at all!

we suggested the places to eat and frequent those places ourselves.

EmergedAsMe

BTW I posted my comment after Aussie Oz's and didn't see the rest of the comments until after posting.

69

People Who Refuse to Tip at Restaurants are Embarrassing!

by White Dove in

jw
friends

egg and i were treated out to dinner three times last weekend by out of state visiting relatives.

just found out last night that they don't believe in tipping, at all!

we suggested the places to eat and frequent those places ourselves.

EmergedAsMe

Having not been brought up in a tipping country... I find it scandalous that people have a "job" where they are not paid enough to live on if they do not get tips. To me the whole "have to tip" concept rubs me up the wrong way. Like Aussie OZ said a display of appreciation often goes a long way, I also find the percentage of an obligation tip staggering!!

Tipping (IMO) is a way people are forced to give a "gift of money" whether the recipient earned it or not. I much prefer the down under system of fair wages for wait staff and the ability to tip for great service ... if you choose to. Also wait staff are more appreciative when they get a tip down here (it is a nice bonus for them), rather than OK now I just need X more tonight and I can pay my rent.

I do not get "obligation tipping" culture! We are not cheap and often tip, or give persons who help us out a gift or something to show appreciation. But having to do something kind of detracts from it being a nice thing to do. With this said – when in a tipping country I follow the standard way of doing things because I can appreciate that wait staff are paid utter crap and tips is how they make their living. And the old... "when in Rome"

But should a "guest" (meaning to the restaurant) really have to directly pay the staffs wages... shouldn't the boss be doing that??? To me being some form of wait staff in a tip obligation country and your wage being a few bucks (if your lucky!) an hour is not a proper job. It is a day to day gamble (surely over the reccession wait staff got less tips therefore their "wage" was reduced automatically for example). Hopefully this doesn't offend anyone, I just think the system is unfair to both the wait staff and the diner.

As you can see – I really don't get obligation tipping!! (Please do not confuse this with tipping for a job well done.) Another small point – doesn't having to do the math to figure out the tip percentage kind of kill a nice evening out. I like to go out relax, pay and leave not figure out the percentage of my bill that is appropriate to leave as a tip?!

39

Tired JWs

by minimus in

jw
friends

that's all i see now.

no vim and vigor, just tired..

EmergedAsMe

I agree... being tired, bored and not mentally challenged were all factors in me waking up.

When you are still young and realize this life ahead of you has nothing to look forward to. As a born in there is a time when you realize there is nothing else, your life is just a giant hamster wheel that you run on but get nowhere... As my brother (who also left) said to me – "there comes a time where you are almost looking for a reason to escape because the JW life is just so boring and depressing!"

23

As a JW kid, did you wish you could join the girl guides/scouts?

by highdose in

jw
friends

also known as cubs and brownies i belive.

i always wanted to join them when i was a child.

i had freinds at school who were in and loved hearing the tales of what they got up to.

EmergedAsMe

My "coping method" for being left out of everything, and not being able to do lots of normal childhood things was to pretend to myself that I wasn't even interested. I didn't even entertain the thought of doing birthdays, girl guides or anything else that a normal kid might say "hey I want to do that – it sounds like fun!" It was partly a JW thing, and partly a my parents personalities and partly financial.

My mother was actually a girl guide leader before she was married and became a JW. In her childhood she went right through the "brownie - guide system" and really enjoyed it - and would lament about how she would have loved us to have been able to have those experiences. I tell you what – your parents who grew up non-JW letting you know what you were missing while you are still a child really, really stinks!! I will put that down to one of those parenting moments where they just didn't think through what they were actually saying.

I am not sure if I would have enjoyed the scout/guide experience or not. But I am annoyed that a pretty standard rite of passage for many kids was denied to me because some men (that I wouldn't even recognize if I fell over them in the street) made some decision that it was not OK (along with all the rest of things that are not allowed!!)

I forgive my mother as I understand that she actually did want what was best for us. She did her job as a parent as best should could with her circumstances and she did make sure that we got wrapped presents (I have heard many say they never got to unwrap gifts), got to decorate the house around their wedding anniversary (I guess a proxy xmas), and I did get to participate in a few sports (as long as they didn't interfere with the JW thing, and my mother was always reeked with guilt over it). With the sports though I kind of fell into them (others asked me to join the team) and I never did play the sport I really wanted to.

190

What's your personality type? Myers-Briggs test

by frankiespeakin in

take this 72 yes/no question test to find out.. http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp.

EmergedAsMe

INTJ

I did it a while ago, it was creepy how much I saw myself in the description.

145

FUN TEST! I am 37% JW!! Post your percentage here plz

by Tired of the Hypocrisy in

jw
friends

i found this online.

i have not seen it on here before so i thought i would post it.

it is a test to determine if you belong in the jw religion.

EmergedAsMe

Ha ha - I got 10% too...