Posts by jukief

36

10 years since My Exit - The Introduction

by Amazing in

jw
friends

my exit introduction .

over the next few weeks or months, i will post an accounting of my exit process in a series of 15 short stories.

it will be part of my permanent notes that may someday be incorporated in a book likely a private book for my children and grandchildren.

jukief

Eric, I know Amazing personally and my husband has known him for a long time. I can assure you he doesn't have an "amazingly bloated ego." I don't know where you get off making such absurd comments. You really should think before you open your mouth.

Amazing, I'm very much looking forward to your posts. I don't read this board very often (because of immature and rude behavior like Eric's), but these types of personal experience are extremely useful and interesting. My parents are suffering through the experience of sitting on the fence, so to speak, so they won't end up losing their JW children. They've been criticized for their position, and the situation is making their "golden" years very painful for them. I'm sure that they'll find your experiences helpful; they may even get some pointers for how to deal with my JW siblings (especially my Nazi-elder brother). Thanks so much for going to all the work to write it down.

Julie

20

The Merry Widows/Widowers of Dubdum

by Room 215 in

jw
friends

hi all,.

maybe this is a local phenomenon, but does it aver occur to you that jws whose mate dies often remarry in what society in general regards as an ``unseemly'' short time after the death of their spouses?

i guess the most prominent example of this is audrey knorr, who tied the knot a second time not long after ``pappy'' knorr was interred in 1977.. just wondering.

jukief

I think JW men tend to remarry a lot more quickly than JW women. There are probably several reasons for this. For one thing, the widowed, single, or divorced women far outnumber the available men, and in my experience, as soon as *any* man is available (for whatever reason), he has a line of women a mile long after him. I also think that men have a more difficult time being alone than women. Women are a lot more independent, but JW men, especially, rarely do anything around the house; they don't know how to cook or take care of themselves. I think they often want a new wife just for that reason.

My parents have been married for 51 years and have a very close, happy marriage. But I know that if my mom dies first, my dad will probably remarry pretty quickly. Not because he doesn't dearly love my mom, but because he is one of those men who wouldn't know how to deal with cooking and housework, and because he suffers from serious depression; I don't think he could handle the lonliness. If this happens, I know I'll have trouble accepting another woman in his life, but I hope I can do so with grace. On the other hand, if my dad dies first, I doubt my mother would ever remarry. My grandmother was a widow for 40-some years; she never remarried, even though she was only in her 40s when her husband died. And she had her chances. :-)

13

I need a copy of CofC

by SexyTeen in

jw
friends

i went to my local library and they did not have a copy.

is there a copy up on the web somewhere?

i'm sure somebody has to have it, almost anything can be found on the web nowadays.. buying it is out of the question, i live with my parents.. i appreciate any help given.

jukief

Or perhaps you can get it from another library through Interlibrary Loan.

83

no blood cards this year!

by DIM in

jw
friends

last night at meeting they told us to just use our blood cards from last year.

in the past they've always told us how important it was to get it signed every year so that people could see our current views as jw's.....doesn't this new arangement negate everything they've ever said in regards to this?

absolutely nuts!.

jukief

I don't think it's a secret. I didn't post any details because I wasn't listening too closely when Alan told me about it last night, and I don't want to get anything wrong. I'm sure Lee or Alan or someone else who has the facts straight will post something soon.

83

no blood cards this year!

by DIM in

jw
friends

last night at meeting they told us to just use our blood cards from last year.

in the past they've always told us how important it was to get it signed every year so that people could see our current views as jw's.....doesn't this new arangement negate everything they've ever said in regards to this?

absolutely nuts!.

jukief

I won't steal your thunder, Lee, but you're right. Alan actually went to the meeting Thursday night to hear how they'd make the announcement. He taped it, too. Poor guy, he had to suffer through a two-hour meeting, but he made it up for it by having fun after the meeting asking lots of questions about the blood doctrine. :-)

22

Working from Home - Ideas?

by YoYoMama in

jw
friends

i am looking to work from home.

do any here have any ideas of how i can get into this?

i've thought about the medical transcripts, but don't know who to contact.

jukief

A lot more employers are encouraging telecommuting these days. I work as an editor for a publishing house, and I work at home 70% of the time. If I wanted, I could work at home full time, but I like having some interraction with people, so I go in three mornings a week for four hours each time.

33

fading away quietly

by DIM in

jw
friends

my wife and i are moving 3000 miles away so that we can fade away as jehovah's witnesses.

i am looking for suggestions as to what i should do about our publisher record cards (keep them in pa?, get them forwarded to seattle?

) so that we can start our lives on the west coast with a fresh start and so we'll just be left alone...any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

jukief

I asked to meet with the elders, and then I informed them that 1) I was leaving my husband, 2) I would no longer be attending meetings, and 3) I was moving to another city to attend college. They didn't do anything to me, and my publisher's record card was never mentioned. That was 17 years ago. I'd recommend that you move and don't tell anyone in your congregation that you're leaving.

You'll love Seattle. We lived in Portland, and my sister lived in Seattle. I've lived in the northeast, too, and I can tell you you're making a great move. Good luck.

4

Need info: the JW video

by larc in

jw
friends

i am in email contact with a woman who has two jws calling on her.

i have given her information about the religion and questions she might ask them.

tomorrow, they want to show her the jw video.

jukief

The video reminds me of those half-hour infomercials on TV. :-)

25

Shunning is worse than the worst crime possible

by Richie in

jw
friends

i have come to the conclusion that the shunning practices of the jw's are in fact worse than the worst crime committed.

just imagine, your own daughter shunning you, not wanting to see me or her first son (my grandson).

whenever i walk around in the village i live and i happen to encounter jw's, they don't even acknowledge that i exist at all!!.

jukief

Richie and HappyHeathen,

Did you know that the elder's manual says that people can't be disfellowshipped for associating with disfellowshipped family members? Even the society's PR web site says that disfellowshipping doesn't cut family ties.

We've had a couple of instances in my home town where the elders tried to hassle people who were associating with DFed family members. In one case, the son who was associating with his disassociated father wrote the society a letter, and they replied that it was pretty much up to him whether he wanted to associate or not (although it was clear they didn't think it was a good idea). I called this fellow the other night, and he's sending me a copy of the letter. He said several people have used to keep elders off their backs. When I get the letter, I'll post a copy of it to this board.

It's obvious that some JWs takes thing above and beyond even what the evil WTS masters say to do.

Julie

2

Sacrifices of spouses/families of exJW teachers

by Esmeralda in

jw
friends

i have tears in my eyes now after reading jukief's posts about the sacrifices that alan has made to teach us all so much.

i remember when i made my first tentative post almost 2 years ago on h2o asking questions about custody issues and jw spouses.

alan was the first person who answered my inquiries, offering references for me to look at.

jukief

Hi Es.

I'm sorry that my post upset you. I shouldn't really said those things. It's only occasionally that I get upset about this. But I think you make a valid point; the children can be the ones who suffer. In our case, Alan's daughter has had a rough time with her JW mother. When his daughter decided she didn't want to be a JW anymore and wanted to come live with her apostate father (oh horrors) and his apostate wife, her mother pretty much abandoned her. So she's already lost one parent to the religion and it's really not fair that she lose another one.

Alan and I have discussed this many, many times over the years we've been together. I know how difficult it is for him. He feel *obligated* to help people, and he gets a lot of satisfaction from it. But at the same time, I see his daughter's pain, and she has been pretty vocal lately about how much she hates all this JW business. It's really hard to know what to do, especially right now when so much is happening in the fight against the WTS. To his credit, Alan has been making a special effort to spend more time with his daughter.

I think it's very difficult to strike a balance. All any of us can do is try. For my part, I need to try to make up for my stepdaughter's loss of a mother and her father's busy schedule by giving her more attention myself. And I'm trying to do so, even though I am dealing with health problems right now.

I think we're all in the same boat. Life is busy and complicated. The one thing I *do* feel good about is that my stepdaughter doesn't have to suffer through her teenaged years as a JW. I constantly remind her of that, too. :-)