That's a very sad story Martinleyshon. JWs do not have a concept of justice at all, do they?
I don't understand why your friend, the other elder, would say that disfellowshipping you is "kinder" than disassociating you. I suppose that's because I am looking at this through the eyes of someone who has been out for a number of years. I would much rather have them think that it was MY choice to leave. Although, they are not giving you any choice in the matter, are they? They're such snakes!