Queequeg

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Posts by Queequeg

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  81

  Here i am....

  by makersmark in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  here i am - born in truth, hard-core spiritual everything all my life, early reg.pioneer, ms, elder, assembly parts, tour at bethel, etc, married now...... i'm trying to examine jw teachings a little closer...... i've spent the last two weeks reading many many posts, info , references on where ex-jw's are coming from.

  i'm kind of concerned about a few things lately..... honestly - some points make sense to me - some don't - here are my general thoughts:.

  -wt getting un membership for access to library - doesnt bother me - some passports and other governement documents have similar forms and requirements..... -blood issue - some counterpoints to the jw 'rules' makes sense (original intent of scripture is unbled animals, white blood cells similar in mothers milk) etc -however a lot of 'apostate' reasonings and proof are inaccurate.

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  Queequeg

  Hey,

  Welcome! Have you taken a look at jwfacts.com yet?
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  31

  Demonstrations From the Platform

  by DarioKehl in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  good evening, all.... still relatively new here so if i'm posting about a topic that's already been run into the ground, i apologize.

  but i just wanted to acknowledge the typical "demo" we all see at meetings, assemblies and conventions.

  even back when i was a good-goody teen dub, my brother, friends and i would jokingly refer to demos as "5-minute illustrations on how to say 'no.'".

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  Queequeg

  BTW the official WTBS term for the solo demos is soliloquy. I had a few, and felt completely stupid the whole time I was doing it!
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  61

  Wow, This is Getting Tougher!

  by Franklin Massey in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm having a really hard time giving my meeting parts.

  i had a service meeting part this week and i could hardly get through it.

  i am no longer convinced of some of the things jws teach and so i try to either eliminate those things from my parts, or reword them so that i'm not speaking about that which i do not personally believe.

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  Queequeg

  Hey Franklin, your post is bringing back bad recent memories!

  You describe a lot of the feelings and situation I went through a couple of years ago. We were in a very small cong., and had been asked to go there because they really needed help. Sometimes I would and up doing most of the parts that required a "brother" on the school and service meeting. Like you described, everyone noticed if we weren't there.

  It got to be harder and harder to do public talks (like you said, being hack stuff out of talks to make them only 30min. did help a bit). Other parts, I had a little more control over, like instruction and bible highlights, they were a little easier. What started to become very difficult was reading the Watchtower! Especially articles with GB worship etc., I literally choked through some these passages.

  Conducting bookstudies was ok, because I could control the direction that things went.

  Eventually, I just couldn't do it anymore. We went back to the cong that we had been in. That made it a little easier, but my "condition" kept getting worse. After about a year and a half I resigned as an "elder", not specifically for that reason but it contributed. This eased things up but by now I was seriously stressed just having to sit there and listen to untruth. Interestingly, reading directly from the bible was the only thing that didn't bother me.

  I really think I was headed for a heart attack, because of the extreme feelings that I was having. This process took about four years or so, going from being completely comfortable and relaxed on stage (even at assemblies), to not being able to even sit in the audience.

  I'm so happy not to have to do any of that anymore. I really wonder if I could have survived another six months of that.

  At first I was frustrated because I couldn't control those feelings and fake it any longer. My conscience just wouldn't let me anymore.

  I'm so glad not to be contributing to and living the lie!
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  29

  Another" Windowless Kingdom Hall" thread..

  by Snoozy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well, i have talked to a few people and no one knows of any kingdom halls that have no or little windows.

  does anyone here have an address or picture of one they have seen?.

  i tried doing a search but it looks like the only one commenting on them are ex jw's... any info anyone?.

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  Queequeg

  I've helped to build dozens, all without windows. Only a couple came close to having windows. The city required them to at least have some glass block to let some natural light in. The city also required them to make the grounds bicycle friendly (trying to be eco-friendly), and the congregation was ing general not happy about that.
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  97

  Are you suspicious of LURKERS?

  by VampireDCLXV in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we all know they're here but we don't really know who they are.. they are people who sign up here and then never comment (or rarely ever do).. doesn't that make any of you regulars here at the very least a tiny bit suspicious?.

  why would a person sign up to a forum like this and then never say a damn thing?

  it seems to me that there is a primary reason why some folks sign up and then never comment on anything: to spy.

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  Queequeg

  Some of us just have more to say than others. Also, more free time on their hands!
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  20

  Staying "Loyal" and King David/Saul Question...

  by Confucious in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  ok.... had a good discussion with a jdub friend.

  good friend.. and i gave the argument, "hey.., loyalty to god trumps loyalty to organization.".

  basically, that when your concious disagrees with "god's organization" that you should stand up and say something.. then he gave me a good point about king david and how saul was the organization at the time but since it was god's appointed one - that david didn't work to "overthrow" saul.. thoughts?.

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  Queequeg

  David did run away to the protection of the Philistine king Achish twice. The second time he became his personal bodyguard and apparently didn't war against him when he became king and fought against much of the rest of Philistia.

  So, David did separate himself from the "organization" at that time for protection.

  We have used this reasoning with a family member and they had no comeback!
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  8

  Hidden remnants of a life past....

  by AK - Jeff in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as we sat rummaging through old files, clearing the clutter and removing dated receipts, canceled checks, and old employment information, i found them.

  in a file, hidden somewhere between the mortgage papers and credit card statements, was a file marked 'theocratic info' or something to that effect.. my wife handed the file to me and asked what i wanted to do with this?

  i shuffled through forty or fifty sheets of neatly typed notes, manuscripts, and printed forms.

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  Queequeg

  AK-Jeff,

  I've been going through a similar thing. I want to burn all of it but I also want to keep anything that might be interesting later. You're are a lot further along in your escape than me so I'll probably end up getting rid of all of it like you. It's a little wierd to look at. Especially when you think about all the time we spent on that crap.. I still have a file with about 20 outlines in two different languages. Oh well, I'm actually really happy to not have to spread the lies...

  Queequeg
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  22

  Is "The Truth" Killing You, Lurkers?

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as an elder of many years, i was continually struck with the abundance of chronically ill witnesses whose disease appeared to be related to their own stress at trying to meet the endless demands of the "truth".

  i am not a medical professional but i don't need to be a doctor to know that the depression and virtual self loathing ('i'm not good enough, i must do more, i'm a bad parent....") sets a stage for ill health.. and now science backs up that conclusion:.

  http://www.amazon.com/when-body-says-understanding-stress-disease/dp/0471219827.

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  Queequeg

  I had noticed what you are talking about for years, even before my realization that it was all a sham. It seemed like some of these "conditions" came and went almost like fashion fads.

  I've always been really healthy and had a reasonably high level of energy. However, right before I started admit to myself that there were so many things wrong with the Organization, I started to have strange physical problems. I was so fatigued that some days I was only able to work for two or three hours. My Dr. did what she called a $50,000 work-up and all they could find was that I had acid reflux. I'm pretty sure that this was tied in to the things that were going on in my mind that I had not come to terms with. The symptoms dissappeared right about the time I started looking into things, realizing that it wasn't the truth. Hmmm? Just a coincidence? Maybe...
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  16

  They can't understand how I can be so inactive and yet such a good guy.

  by Wasanelder Once in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've been faded, inactive, for 6 years or more and the witnesses i know are astounded that i'm not in trouble.

  they don't say it but its on their minds.

  i do the things thier "brothers and sisters" don't do towards them.

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  Queequeg

  This has been my families strategy so far in our "fast fade".

  Palimpsest said "The idea that I'm actually really happy and living a fulfilling life completely blows their minds". That is so true. It's actually kind of fun.

  Something simple like when they see you at a restaurant with "worldly" people having a great time.

  Also, my new thing is to get them(witnesses) to talk about their problems. Most of 'em have plenty of negative stuff you can get them to talk about.

  "Are you still having back problems"?, "How's your application for ssi going"? "How's your wife doing"?

  One elder told me recently, "And don't tell me that you're happier not going to the meetings"! I just looked him in the eyes, trying to be neutral (with just a hint of a smile).
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  194

  Bethel Rules

  by brotherdan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this was brought up just in passing on another thread.

  but i wanted to see if there are any bethelites or ex bethelites that remember some of the crazy rules we had to follow when we were there..

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  Queequeg

  Only two flipping pieces of pizza on pizza night. But you could get two more for your roommate. It wasn't my fault he didn't want them!