i am a recovering alcoholic and a former jw.
my attempt to get help from the elders was only met with threats of judicial action.
i stepped out of the box and sought help from aa.
I know of a brother who the elders were harassing about attending AA and encouraged him to stop going to those meetings. He kept relapsing and eventually told the elders he was going to keep going to AA whether they liked it or not. The elders weren't pleased, but the main thing is the brother got the help he needed from people who could really help him.
I can't stand how some elders with no credentials offer crappy advise to those who are really in need of assistance.
i never saw the king, live, in concert.
if i could've i would have wanted to see elvis.
i rarely listen to him but it would been great to see him in his prime.. and i would've loved it if i could have seen the 60's versions of the temptations!.
The Beatles, Nirvana, Queen, Guns N Roses, Radiohead, and a Lilith Fair festival for that 90s girl power experience.
its my first real birthday today!
i recieved a call in the morning with a sweet voice singing 'happy birthday' to me.
it was so nice.
Happy Birthday Timothy!!!
Enjoy your special dinner, sounds fantastic!
i'm scanning through some of the results from the 2012 jw survey as they're coming in.. the most populous of the six voting categories with 76 voters so far is my own category, for those who are inactive, or "faded/fading" (not disfellowshipped or da'd, but no longer reporting time on the ministry).. one statistic already leaping out at me surrounds the question "do you experience 'pre-emptive shunning' from active witnesses, who view you as 'bad association'?
" of the 74 who voted on this so far, 76% have answered "yes" to this question.. it's early days, and obviously i will have a clearer picture of the extent of the problem once the survey closes at the end of the year.
however, the results already in suggest that pre-emptive shunning is widespread among inactive ones, despite this not being an "official" policy of the society.. i was interested in your opinions as to why this may be?
My husband experiences more shunning now that he has facial scruff. JWs see him and look shocked and quickly turn away or ignore him. One sister was telling everyone he looks like a Muslim, which I thought was a weird thing to say. And our once close friends shun us even though we hung out with them when they weren't going to meetings.
It's sad to see the fear in these people's eyes. We're still the same people, but now we're dangerous. I don't blame them though, I used to be afraid of apostates and fringers too.
been lurking for a bit, and feel safe enough now to tell my story (condensed).. i'm a third-generation born-in, but my parents were inactive for most of my upbringing.
this means i got the worst of both worlds--no worldly friends (home schooled all but grades 2-3), no witness friends (since we never went to the hall except for memorial), and a generally isolated upbringing in a tiny, tiny town.
needless to say, my emotional, social, and personal growth were stunted.
Hello, and welcome! My story is similar to yours, I've been fading for a couple years and am still having a midlife crisis and I'm not even 30 yet.
I hope your wife comes around. My husband took about a year after I stopped trying to talk to him about religion. I had initially bombarded him with all the exciting things I was learning, and he wasn't ready to hear it.
Is your son in any activities? I'm not sure if you're still attending meetings, but perhaps you can start skipping some of them to do fun things together as a family. Register your son in some classes on Saturday morning to skip service, or go away for the weekend.
And about wanting to believe, I think in time we figure out how to make sense of the world. It's a journey, and there are no easy answers, but what we find is ultimately our own truth which is liberating.
it has been my one of my greatest honors to post here on this forum.
i arrived almost 2 years ago looking desperately for some ears to listen.
that is exactly what you gave me and more.
Your posts will be missed! Enjoy following your passion and writing your book.
hi my first post.. for the people that grew up in the religon, do you have any memory of being spanked for not sitting still in the meeting?
i see kids acting like kids but the parents take them out and spank them for something like not sitting still.
some of my worst memories are my father taking me out for a beating with a belt or his hand.
The children in my Hall would get spanked, and you could hear them screaming from the bathroom. I'm not sure what they even did, I didn't notice they were misbehaving. I felt so much pressure to have my active toddler sit still and be quiet during the meetings, that I just hung out in the Mother's Room to avoid all the stares when he made a peep. I'm thankful I had such an active child, otherwise we might still be at the meetings.
hello, you sexy sassy posters of jwn.
i'm starting this thread in the hopes of finding... uh, hope.... and sharing it with others who are in a similar boat.
i'm looking for input from anyone who meets the following criteria:.
Yes to all the criteria, my husband got a diploma instead of a degree. He is a CAD Monkey too, and in a similar bind at his job. We realized it wasn't "the truth" after we already had a child, and now we have 2 little ones, so going back to school sadly isn't an option at the moment.
It's interesting to compare my husband's witness relatives with the regular ones. Most of his non-JW cousins went to University, one even went to Harvard! My husband didn't know he needed to apply for scholarships, he just knew he couldn't afford school and didn't want to burden his parents.
There are lots of programs you can take online.
Razziel has an inspiring story about earning his degree while working. Send him a PM!
once you realized the organization is simply a religious corporation, how did you leave?.
did you fade?.
were you forced out?.
Once you realized the organization is simply a religious corporation, how did you leave? We just stopped attending meetings.
Did you fade? Kind of. Our service had been reduced for a year prior to leaving, meeting attendance was spotty and then nonexistant.
Were you forced out? No. We still get visits from elders though. One elder came right out and asked "you still know this is the truth, right?" He also grilled me about certain family memebers, asking why they weren't going to meetings and if they were discouraged because of another elder and his family. I told the elder it was best to ask them.
How did you adjust to life on the outside? We celebrated holidays this year and enjoyed them. Life is pretty much the same as it was when we were witnesses, we just have more time and don't feel guilty about doing normal things like sleeping in on the weekends.
Do you still have social or family connections within the organization? Only inlaws, and that might change when they find out our inactive status.
What did you do to supplant the lost friends, routine, and sense of purpose? I'm kind of a loner, so I don't need many friends. I have some friends that are ex JWs, which is nice. My husband is making friends with his coworkers. We've got 2 little kids, so not a lot of extra time. But I take a yoga class to get out of the house, and have my son in dance class. We plan family outings some weekends, and try to fill our time with things we enjoy.
I miss spiritual things sometimes, so I went to a church and enjoyed the atmosphere there. I plan on volunteering at the Food Bank in the near future. And right now my children give my life a sense of purpose. I sometimes have bad days where I feel my life has no purpose, but I think counseling, medication, and time will heal all wounds.
how many of you had gone visiting any apostate church when you were still in?
what was your feeling?
my bf went to my church with me once, i wonder how he felt....
I went to a few churches for weddings and thought they were creepy and evil. But now that I`m out, I just went to a United Church and it was very welcoming and light hearted. The songs were sang with real joy, and the sign on the door said `Service in session, Please come in.`That is definitely more welcoming than the Kingdom Hall, where you would have to knock if you arrived 5 minutes late because they locked the door.
