Over 40 yrs baptized, service, builds, talks and talks and talks that I put countless hours of prep into, elder, meetings, assemblies,----you all know. But through it all I never bought the whole truth idea 100%. No matter what it was, meeting, service, assemblies, I just COULDN'T wait for it to END. Always felt bored to death, let me out of here, I got things to do. One thing I'm proud of, I was never guilted into pioneering, just doing the bare minimum field service I could get away with. One month a long long time ago I did pioneer hours unofficially but only because of the pioneer sister I got to work with each day. It wasn't worth it. How many felt that way? How many still in feel that way? Thing is for so many years I believed it was my fault I didn't appreciate the truth like I should and everyone else did, so at times I really tried, but it all just never worked for me, I'm sure if it wasn't for family I would have never been a JW.