If life is hard on the outside it's only because we were never taught to live on the outside. We had nannies that told us what and how to do everything, including how to think. So we enter the outside as emotional and mental babies. It takes a while to grow up out there, and there will be plenty of mistakes. But the risk is worth it, to live life free and with meaning. No matter what the JWs want you to believe, their way is not freedom and it has no real meaning. If you're thinking of leaving, get support before you go. Make sure you have someone to talk to, and a network of friends. There is so much more out there than the JWs want you to believe.
imasheilatoo
JoinedPosts by imasheilatoo
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283
Are you sure leaving is a wise decision ?- Lurkers think twice- Part 2
by mankkeli inin the previous thread of this series, i called lurkers attention to the need of being discreet when contemplating an exit from the jw religion.
i mentioned that the thread was borne as a result of the general observations i made reading old posts here and discussing with many ex-jws and their lives have gradually turned out.
that thread alone was visited more than 2,980 times and graced with 204 contributions.
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33
I can't believe how many people are leaving now...
by mac n cheese in(sorry if this is a double post - i haven't been on in awhile).
so spouse and i are completely inactive.
it's great!
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imasheilatoo
My mother gave up everything to stay with the JWs - her family, her husband, her kids -- she will never leave because she cannot admit it was all for nothing. As time passes you will find that you can even celebrate BDs and Holidays, not just the pleasure of having your weekends to yourself, to say nothing of being free to think whatever you want to think and enjoy whatever you want to enjoy. Hey, guess what, life is actually GOOD.
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Those "Passion arousing jungle rythyms" !
by wobble indo any of you remember the wt putting those words in print ?.
i remember when i read them that i thought "they don't give me a hard-on", now, slow dancing close to a lovely lady, that was different,.
i was pleased to see her !.
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imasheilatoo
I recall a party from my youth. The "Monkey" was the new dance at the time, and Smokey Robinson had the hit song Mickey's Monkey. We were all dancing to it when a caucasion elder dropped in to see how the party was going. (I lived in a Black neighborhood, but of course all of our elders were white.) He promptly left, but returned 20 minutes later, bible and research in hand, and broke up the party. In his speech, he said the Monkey was based on African dances that were intended to jiggle the breasts and arouse the other sex. I have no idea where his supposed "research" came from. His speech was racist, misogynist, and like all Witness teachings clearly terror-stricken of anything that smacks of human sensuality -- which is not "dirty" unless you see it that way!
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Can you think of anything that is postive about being A JW?
by jam inthey make good neighbors, why because they.
stay to themselves..
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imasheilatoo
Nothing for myself. But they do take good care of my mother, who is 82 and disabled and lives 75 miles away from me, and I don't have a car. Last week she fell down and cut her head and broke her nose, and one of them was right there to take her to the emergency room and stay with her. When her air conditioning broke and it was 95 degrees in her house, one of them called me to let me know and to ask if I could talk her into letting them put an air conditioner in her house. Also, I'm sure there have been those lost people such as alcoholics who have straightened out their lives due to becoming a JW. However, none of those things above should be exclusive to being a JW, and for myself I would never live my life in their mental, social, spiritual and emotional chains.
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Pedophilia
by imasheilatoo ini'm fairly new here, so i don't know if this has been discussed before.
we used to have a member of the "remnant" in our congregation (chester g), who lived at bethel.
he was an older man, and had been a witness for a very long time.
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imasheilatoo
I'm fairly new here, so I don't know if this has been discussed before. We used to have a member of the "Remnant" in our congregation (Chester G), who lived at Bethel. He was an older man, and had been a witness for a very long time. He was revered and we were all supposed to listen to him with rapt attention when he spoke. All eyes were on him at the Memorial services, as he partook of the wine. One day during a meeting he was in the library room in the back, and I was in there too, though I don't remember why. I was about 13 years old. He grabbed me and kissed me on the lips, several times, chuckling in between kisses. I had my hands pressed against him pushing against him, and he let me go. I didn't tell anyone at that time, because you know the syndrome -- how does a little girl go up against such a powerful man? But I stayed clear of him after that, and I often wondered who else he molested. Many years later I found out that my best friend was repeatedly sexually abused by her father, who was an elder in the congregation. This was the same elder who once took it upon himself to "counsel" me for something I had supposedly done wrong. I have known of many wrongdoings by supposedly righteous people, but pedophilia seems particularly heinous, and I think probably such things came to light to elders but were never prosecuted, just swept under the rug.
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I have just left my parents home and the JW's about six months ago and have found it hard to get over.
by StephanieH ini finally desided to leave the witnesses therefore my family and basicly everyone and everything i had ever known.
i was 19 about to be 20 and i had just finished my first semester at a community college.
i was shocked at the respons of my father and others about me attending college at first they were ok but behind my back they were pretty much betting on my failier.
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imasheilatoo
Stephanie, it takes a while to get over the guilt the JWs ground into you, but you will get over it and life will be good and full. I think you have shown a great deal of courage in leaving, and in coming out for who you are. Remember that you did not leave your family; they left you. A true and loving family would support you and stand by you no matter if your beliefs did not coincide with theirs. Pity them for their loss of you. Stay on your path of taking care of yourself mentally. If you are depressed, keep seeking help. And definitely find others who will love you and support you. One day any feelings of guilt or sorrow will be gone, and you will find yourself in a life well worth living. It will happen.
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Did you miss out on "higher education" when a JW but go to college later?
by Mad Sweeney ini did.
still not finished with a degree yet but i'll get there.. how about you?.
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imasheilatoo
I did -- when I graduated High School, I was expected by my mother and the elders to pioneer. When I didn't, the elders came to visit me and pressure me. Instead I got a job, and saved money to move out of my mother's house. After I moved, I had to save more money to put myself through college. I finally finished my degree when I was 38 years old.
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An absolute nightmare!
by MrFreeze ini had one of the most vivid nightmares that i can remember in a long time.
there i was driving with my family.
they are dressed in their sunday finest.
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imasheilatoo
This might seem counter-intuitive, but I actually think that's a positive dream rather than a negative one. The feeling it evoked was horror. It's like you are telling yourself that you made the right decision. Perhaps you have some lingering fear of still identifying with the JWs, but that will fade. When I first left the JWs many years ago, I began to smoke cigarettes. I smoked for about three years, finally giving it up when I realized it was a terrible habit. For many years after that, I used to have nightmares that I had picked up a cigarette and smoked it again. And in my nightmare I would berate myself and feel so terrible that I had done this and fear that I would never be able to give it up again. The feeling upon waking was RELIEF that it hadn't actually happened. Then I could go about my day knowing that I really was not a smoker anymore. Eventually when I got far enough away from the cigarettes, the dreams stopped.
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Voting.
by s0rt3d ini do feel kinda silly since this is something most people do anyway, you know, it's a regular, ordinary thing to do.... there's the av referendum and the local elections in england.
i went out this morning and voted.
it felt so good to have a say, to make my 'voice' heard!
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imasheilatoo
There's lots of life's pleasures and good responsibilities that slowly overtake you when you finally free yourself from the JWs. It has been years since I was one, but I STILL revel in the freedom and luxury of a Sunday morning without field service.
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My Experience as JW
by umadevi inhello, i am new to this site and it is comforting to know that i am not the only one that has problem with wts.
i'm 36 and single parent with 8 year old son.
i work full time from 8am to 5pm in order to support both of us.
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imasheilatoo
My mother became a JW when I was 7 years old. She became a "pioneer" which committed her to so many hours of "field service" a week, in addition to meetings. Her conversion broke up my family, but she refused to work at a job at first, finally finding part-time work when I was about 12 years old. During all that time and after, we barely had any food in the house. I made mayonnaise sandwiches (nothing else, just mayonnaise) for lunch. I wore shoes that had holes in them, and had to put cardboard in them to keep my feet from being on the ground. I learned early how to make my own clothes. In addition to our unnecessary poverty, my mother found no time to do any housework, so at a very early age I became responsible for cleaning and cooking, and washing my own clothes. Maybe people think this sounds character building, but combine all that with the fact that I was not allowed any friends or activities in school, I HAD NO CHILDHOOD. It took me many years in adulthood to get over that, if one can ever really get over it and all the attendent feelings of worthlessness and loss. My greatest joy in life has been giving my own son a normal, happy childhood and watching him grow up to be a fulfilled, mature, wonderful adult. Don't let the JWs play on your conscience. Your most important task right now is to raise your son and to give him all of the attention and whatever else he needs. You will never regret that, and he will never have any reason to look back on his childhood with sadness that you put anything before your love for him.