namey - . I’m now divorced, a large part of that had to do with me waking up.
Same here. The Elders told her to leave me because I was labelled 'apostate(tm)'.
I struggle too. I can no longer believe in God because I have asked honest questions. Religion to me, at least, is all fiction. Used by selfish grifters to get them money and power. They have pretended that the Bible/Quran or other pile of fiction is real, for their own ends.
So. What do I do?
I play in a fairly successful local rock band.
I research my family tree.....some surprises there, too.
I have joined a Viking re-enactment group.
It only helps a bit. Most of the time I'm lost in a gloomy world.
I know all life ends in death with no promise of an after-life (I'll find out or not after I shuffle off this mortal coil).
It's just about filling the time before that happens, with stuff.