Perry,
I have to concur with Ozzie. You made a post with a great deal of thought and honesty, and for that you should be proud.
You have no need to feel "jealous" of Amazing.
X Elders carry crosses (excuse the pun) entirely different to those of us that were not elders. They carry the burden of knowing what they carried out in their duties as elders; what they knew at the time and still stayed...many, many things.
I could never envy or be jealous of an X Elder, but if just one whole family can get out together; be it Amazing's, Ozzies's, yours, or anyone's, I will rejoice in that factor alone.
Perry, all my family are JW's and I am shunned by them all. That only serves to make me more happy for those that can come out with everything as intact as possible.
To the Ozzies, and the Amazings, I wish you nothing but the best.
Perry, I wish you the ame on your journey. Thankyou for such a well thought out post.
Ana