@3rdgen:
First, let me say how sorry I am for your loss and the subsequent additional pain you suffered at the hands of an insensitive and callous organization. The subject of funerals is also painful for me because my best friend was denied a Kingdom Hall venue for his memorial service because he had committed suicide. His widow refused to let any of the local elders have anything to do with the service--a decision I totally supported--and instead had an out-of-town Witness who had known her husband when he was a teenager give the talk. That talk still lives on in my mind more than twenty-five years later because of the warmth, love, sympathy and hope it contained. The speaker spoke about Tom as a loving friend, husband and father and related some funny experiences about him that had many of us laughing through our tears.
As for the original post, what upset me with it was the poster's assertion that his experience was "the typical JW funeral". My point is that is not so as my own life experience has shown. I remember funerals and memorial services that were not "an informercial for the Borg" at all but were given with every intention of comforting the bereaved. The memorial service talk I gave was certainly in that vein and I know of many others that were given the same way.
You are right to point out that the OP asked for other people's experiences in this matter. I wanted to give mine so that this discussion didn't descend into the morass of Witness-bashing, something that can so easily entrap all of us. This deplorable organization has harmed many, many people with its words, actions, and attitudes. It continues to do so and there can be no honest denial of that. But I don't want a discussion of this subject, one that will undoubtedly be painful for many who might participate or read it, to become another mud-slinging free-for-all. That is something the WTS and its false shepherds do only too well. And while there can be much to criticize about the WTS and while many of us have had all kinds of negative experiences with the organization, I hope that this thread can maintain a dignified air that throws light on the facts and avoids sweeping generalities as well as substituting anecdotes for solid evidence and proof. If we can do that, then more people will get real benefit from this discussion than they might have otherwise.
Quendi