I can't talk to anyone about this on the outside ( mental health counselor) because it could be a bad impression on the org plus they won't understand where I'm coming from anyway. ~ Sue
Yes you can. Half of our Cong were seeing therapists or counselors or psychiatrists. While WT used to disparage mental health treatment in the past, that is not necessarily the case now. Actually, I think perhaps YOU have a bad impression of seeking mental health treatment. Get past that. I credit my counselor with saving my life.
Usually returning to WT brings back all of your (conditional) friends, and I'm surprised that hasn't happened for you. Of course, WT wives can be jealous (or leery) of other single women. You really have to seek out other single women for "friends" and support.
It is a lot more difficult to develop real friendships (meaning outside of WT). It takes a lot of work, especially if you do not have something obvious in common (workmates, hobbies, etc). And voicing up that you are a JW with all their "weird" ideas on holidays and birthdays complicates it because that is when people socialize -- birthday parties, etc.
We have "faded" so we can have freer communication with JW family and (conditional) friends, but we have much better friends outside of the JW network. Just fewer that used to have in the Cong. because they don't (falsely) love bomb people.
Good luck!
The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!