Very high on my list is the Jean Auel series. It starts with Clan of the Cave Bear. The 6th in the series will be coming out next month, so it's a great time to start. You will be transported!
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Books to Read
by MrFreeze ini used to love reading.
i would go through books like mad.
but as of the last few years i find myself fading further and further from reading.
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JWs and Counseling/Psychologists/Therapists
by Had To Go inhello - i am hoping that some born-ins, still-ins, elders (ex), ms, etc.
can help me with a question i have.
what is the typical jw thought on seeking counseling via a licensed therapist or psychologist?
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***
g837/22pp.4-5DoYouNeedaMarriageCounselor?***
The
MarriageCounselor
John and Jane still love each other, so how will they try to save their marriage? They plan to go to a stranger, a professional marriage counselor. But what are they getting involved in?
The professional marriage counselor is a modern phenomenon. He—or she—appeared on the scene in very recent decades—but at what a pace! “Counseling by child psychiatrists or family counselors has become a major growth industry,” according to the magazine U.S.News&WorldReport. A growing army of professional counselors—psychiatrists, psychologists, clergymen (pastoral counselors), doctors, lawyers, teachers, marriage and family therapists, social workers and persons with degrees in behavioral science—have replaced the felicitous but nonprofessional counselors and advisers of bygone days.
After World War II, marriage counseling began to gain popularity in the United States. Now leading educational institutions have proliferated with masters and doctoral degrees in a field that has become a health profession on its own.
What
IsMarriageCounseling?
Marriage counseling is, according to the Michigan, U.S.A., board that certifies marriage counselors, “guidance, testing, discussions, therapy, instruction, or the giving of advice, the principal purpose of which is to avoid, eliminate, relieve, manage or resolve marital conflicts or discord, or create, improve, or restore marital harmony.”
That sounds exactly like what John and Jane need. However, this is but one of hundreds of definitions of marriage counseling. The science of behavior (of the body, the mind, the nervous system) is one thing. Efforts to apply that science has spawned myriads of theories and practices. Psychologist Allen S. Bernsten of Florida describes four schools of psychotherapy that, in turn, break up into 130 subschools:
Analytical:
The therapist tries to explore unconscious motivations or why you behave the way you do. He explores earlier childhood memories, which may open insights into your actions now.Behavioral:
In this approach he is less concerned about your inner motivations. Rather, he tries to change your undesirable habits or behavior by training and conditioning.Humanistic:
In this approach the therapist places greater emphasis on self-awareness, self-growth, self-responsibility, to bring about changes in you and your actions.Transpersonal:
He tries to help you rise above it all and merge with some “universal will.” This one can get really mystical.One survey concluded that 64 percent of marriage counselors make up their own style out of a profusion of theories and methods. Yet many counselors seem to have a similar aim. Dr. Usha Anand, a marriage counselor in India, wrote that “the aim of marital counseling . . . is to strengthen the family unit and family unity.” Professor of child and family relations at the University of Connecticut, Dr. Eleanor Luckey, describes marriage counseling as “counseling two individuals plus a relationship.”
And counselors do share a common goal: communication. They try to develop and build more effective methods of communication between the couple.
Are
TheyQualified?
Some states and countries license marriage counselors as a separate profession. However, according to Australian psychiatrist Dr. William Carrington, due to a shortage of trained counselors, there are many subprofessionals doing marriage counseling in Great Britain, Australia and New Zealand. In some countries in Africa, Asia and South America marriage counseling is being performed by seemingly untrained priests, ministers, physicians, educators and community leaders.
“Marriage counseling,” concludes psychologist and counselor Dr. William Nichols, “is an emergent profession, a quasi-profession, and an amateur activity, a field that is populated by highly skilled, clinically sophisticated practitioners at one extreme and by well meaning but incompetent amateurs at the other.”
So John and Jane have to do a lot of investigating if they go ahead with their plan to consult a marriage counselor. But, as a young married couple, there is one item of information they are doubtless intensely interested in:
How
MuchDoesItCost?
In the United States fees vary from free counseling at some community mental health centers to hourly rates for nonprofit clinics based on a sliding scale up to $45 or so. Private practitioners, from social workers to psychiatrists, charge from $35 to $150—whatever the market will bear.
Is marriage counseling effective? “Many counselors say two-thirds of their clients are helped,” according to ConsumerLifeMagazine. Psychologist Morris B. Parloff of the National Institute of Mental Health says, “All forms of psychotherapy tend to be reasonably useful for patients who are highly motivated, experience acute discomfort, show a high degree of personality organization, are reasonably well educated, have had some history of social success and recognition, are reflective, and can experience and express emotion.”
However, many pros and cons are thrown about. Internationally known marriage counselor Jay Haley concludes that therapists are sure neither of their techniques nor of their results. That is why, he says, they are reluctant to publish their findings.
Edited to increase font size.
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Crazy Is Flirting a Sin? Q & A
by Iamallcool inchristianity -- christian living/is flirting a sinadvertisement.
expert: phillip senn - 10/10/2008.
question.
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If we lust after another that we are not married to, we commit adultery in our hearts
Just so I understand, is it still adultery if the one we lust after is NOT married, and we are NOT married? Or, is the act of lust enough to up the ante to adultery from simple fornication? Can I catch a disease from lusting? How about if I wear a rubber hat? What if I flirt but stop just short of lusting? Would that just be loose conduct or brazenous? If someone's wife or husband lusts after another, does that free the innocent mate up for a scriptural divorce?
A few years ago, I had a very friendly man making conversation and joking around with me. Since most of my association was at the KH, it took me 20 minutes to figure out he was flirting. If I am only the object of the flirter, does that make me a sinner too?
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I was shunned
by cantleave inin the fareham shopping centre.. a "sister" saw me.
pretended not to see me, dropped her her head and moved very quickly in the opposite direction.. i love being a dangerous apostate!!
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A "sister" saw me. Pretended not to see me, dropped her her head and moved very quickly in the opposite direction
LOL. Shun away! Shun away! sorry, I was feeling punny.
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I was shunned
by cantleave inin the fareham shopping centre.. a "sister" saw me.
pretended not to see me, dropped her her head and moved very quickly in the opposite direction.. i love being a dangerous apostate!!
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I don't even shun people I'm mad at. I don't shun people I HATE. Well, I did shun someone once, but he was a rapist that hurt my friend. Yeah, I shunned him. People have stolen from me, and I didn't shun them. People have taken my boyfriends and I didn't shun them. HESTER PRYNNE wore a scarlet letter, but the Puritans didn't shun her!
Passive Aggression they name is JW.
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If Armageddon came tomorrow, would Jehovah kill a billion children?
by just n from bethel ini just looked up some population statistics.
i saw there are over a billion children under the age of 10 on the earth today.
(didn't research too hard - just googled it.
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LOL, good. All will be right with the new world!
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If Armageddon came tomorrow, would Jehovah kill a billion children?
by just n from bethel ini just looked up some population statistics.
i saw there are over a billion children under the age of 10 on the earth today.
(didn't research too hard - just googled it.
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Errr, he's wearing jeans and tennis shoes! I don't think they get to have those in paradise.
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If Armageddon came tomorrow, would Jehovah kill a billion children?
by just n from bethel ini just looked up some population statistics.
i saw there are over a billion children under the age of 10 on the earth today.
(didn't research too hard - just googled it.
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It's disheartening that a few former JWs cling to fundamentalist beliefs that make no sense and have no backing, but being able to openly talk with them, eat with them, say greetings to them, and be their friends, is stll worthwhile. Welcome to freedom.
It really is exciting to be able to debate these things, don't you think? And I have been surpised that those coming out of the jw daze choose another fundy set of beliefs. For me, leaving the org was an awakening--a freeing--a reduction of cognitive dissonance. I am now learning that it is not exactly that way for others, and I'm struggling to be tolerant of it.
I think that after the years of indoctrination, the LAST thing I want to deal with on an ex jw board is being preached at. Yet, that is what the "world" is all about, so, I'm working on it. I also get frustrated with myself, because I know I used to think like that! And even though it is kind of vague to me now, every so often I remember very well how I saw things.
Now that I look at the bible through my renewed eyes, I know, nothing will ever move me to worship that god again. I remember how I would think about dead children and make that right in my brain. It was exhausting, but humans have the capacity to do it. I firmly believed everything in that bible, which is why saying that I don't know the bible isn't exactly an explanation for why I don't believe like another person. A better explanation is that I don't accept it's authority anymore, and I made the decision knowing what it said, and not on heresay.
On I will go and treasure this life that I have right now. It's the only one I have, and I'm happy I took it back before it was gone.
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If Armageddon came tomorrow, would Jehovah kill a billion children?
by just n from bethel ini just looked up some population statistics.
i saw there are over a billion children under the age of 10 on the earth today.
(didn't research too hard - just googled it.
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So what else was he to correct them? They were HIS people.
LOL, whoa. The last thing I think I'd want to be is one of god's people.
So, there is a lot of talk of this god punishing his people. Be specific. What do you believe happens to those that don't obey? What horrible nightmare do you ascribe to in order to scare people into believing? We already see that he is brutal to the people he supposedly loves and considers his own.
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Those Dubbies and their surprise visits...
by undercover ini don't know which is worse.... dubs that drop by unanounced and want to confront you on your inactivity and your apparent lack of zeal for truth and love of jehovah, thus setting up a potential argument that could get ugly real fast.
dubs that drop by unanounced and feign friendship, chatting away like old times, yet they've got a bible in their hand and they insist putting wt/awake mags in my hand before they leave (like i can't download it for free from the internet) and since they've been friendly enough it would be bad form to jump their shit and antagonize the situation.
knowing they're indoctrinated, i'm sure that they're actually trying to be sincere in their efforts.
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LOL, I live in fear of one of those visits. If I have to stay home on Saturdays, I spend the morning paranoid. I haven't seen a witness since I made the decision to never return, and I just don't trust myself.