Fading has given me a tiny glimpse. Having to pretend to be what I'm not is uncomfortable and there isn't even a biological factor! When I'm around JW's I can't speak freely, I have to watch my every comment, gage it's every reaction. It's tiring and the interchange is meaningless. They didn't actually have a conversation with ME but a character I created. I get nothing at all from it, and they only get an illusion.
Then my pastor, who is a lesbian, told me how the hospital tried to block her visit to her critically ill partner. They've been together for a very long time, and her partner needed her. She had absolutely no legal recourse. Gratefully she was clergy and that trumped all---but most don't have that advantage. People, right now, are forced to deal with serious illness without the most important person in their lives there to support them! Some are dying alone. It's disgusting.
Then I've just let people tell me their story. How when at the age of 8 or 10 they understood they were different. This doesn't sound like a sexual preference at all---but an emotional make-up. Who can tell me that a prepubescent child makes some evil decision to go against nature? It's ridiculous. Considering the complex way we develop before birth, the hormones, the body parts, the billions of brain connections--we should EXPECT that some would wire differently---and that doesn't mean wired WRONG--it means it is very human to be unique. We aren't a bunch beasts that can't handle variety for goodness sake.
Even when I was in the org, the overreaction to homosexuality really irritated me. I hadn't thought much about it, but I didn't see any reason to act like that was somehow worse than the thousands of other things listed as wrong. Now with an open mind I reject that morality completely. It has done so much damage, cost so many lives, led to so many broken families, I've decided the evil thing is the prejudice.
NC