as a service by jehovah's "loving" organisation, the wts has issued a list of situations where sisters are to wear a "head covering".
2. conducting a bible study with baptized son.
1. conducting a family study where husband is not present.
Those rules are exactly why I decided I could no longer be a JW. I decided looking at my three girls that they would not be raised in an oppressive religion that looks down on their gender.
Many people leave because they found out about doctrines that changed etc but this was the catalyst that made me run outside the KH and throw my hat to the wind...Just like Mary Tyler Moore. Ain't freedom grand!!!!!!
Leslie
my husband and i have had sort of a disagreement of sorts.
he says that men cannot be friends with women.
he says that any man that appears to want to be friends with a woman really just wants to get in her pants, and if they end up friends it's purely by accident.
I know for myself personally my best friend in life is male. Not only is he a man but at one time I was intimately involved with him. After we were no longer dating we had to work at our friendship but it was worth it. I am now married and he lives with another women. My husband knows all about him and welcomes him to our home as well as his calling me and me calling him. I love him but not any longer in a sexual way. He is like a brother to me.
Most of my life I have been close to men not women. This I attribute to the fact that I was raised with all brothers no sisters. My husband has very close men and female friends. I would never stop that. Affairs have nothing to do with friendships they are a break in trust with your partner. My husband trusts me and I trust him. I could never live a life that I was worried about were my husband was or who he was with all the time. Of course, I live a very different lifestyle then most married people. I have my home my husband has his. Love those conjugal visits hahahha. Just my thoughts.
Leslie
there was a very interesting programme on radio4 this afternoon-dealing with teenagers and their possible problems.. i feel that many witness teens maybe heading for mental health problems due to the issues raised today.. we all know that jw teens are encouraged by the society to follow the leadership of the org.regarding the problems they may face during this difficult time.. the society has made it seem as though it is facing these problems by producing books and magazine articles especially for teens; but how useful are they?.
apparently to grow a healthy teen you need many things.see if you think the points i remembered(there were many more)could explain mental health problems for witnesses in later life.... 1.it's not rebellion that makes a healthy teenager; the most sucessful ones question and are allowed to question.. 2.in doing this they 'find' their own wat in life and learn to be comfortable in their own skins.. 3.teenagers understand the world and how to survive in it by exploring it in their own way.. 4.telling a teen 'these are the rules you should follow' make for unhappy teens...and unheathy mental health.. 4..when parents realise that a teen is preprogrammed to need to discover who they are; they can stop taking it personally and remember that the teen has to find their own path for their own mental growth.. 5.stunting a teens natural tendancy to 'strike' out on their own actually harms their coping abilities in the future.. 6.teenagers who have not been allowed to follow their own thinking for a while end up not having enough self esteem to even start thinking about theses things.this is where the problems start.. they will lack the life coping skills that other sucessful teens have; they will be more prone to depression; self harm;mental illness and suicide.. .
self harm is a classic example of a teen who has'nt questioned and therefore has'nt learnt to cope on their own, mentally.the cutting satisfies and releases feeling that are incommunicable due to repression in those years.. so please; all you witness parents- just because your child want to question, don't think they are rebellious in a bad sense- if they do question it proves you have brought them up well so far.don't spoil their future mental well-being by stopping them on their last stage of growth in to adult mental health.. let them question and speak openly without fear of reproach from you;help to set them up for adult hood..
Dear Radiolady;
It certainly sounds like your daughter is suffering from depression. She has all the signs of it. It would be great if you could set up somekind of counseling for her. I know counseling can be expensive but if you have a Salvation Army or Catholic Charities in your area call, many times they charge by a sliding scale and it is very inexpensive.
When you look at her life there is probably lots of issues she needs to deal with. Your divorce, leaving a controlling religion, your relationships...I only say this because my children went through exactly the same thing. I left when my oldest child was 12 and it was an emotional roller coaster ride. My youngest went to stay with her JW dad and his wife when she was 7. I am still dealing with the ramifications of it, and she came back to me after an ugly custody battle four months later.
Most of the kids my children were raised were have left the borg. My children were just commenting on this the other day. The reason why kids that leave have such a hard time adjusting to life outside is that they never experienced the process of growing up. They are raised as young adults their whole life. They are told how to act, how to talk, etc. Most never experience the rebellion and independence that is so necessary for some to grow as healthy adults. Good luck I will be thinking of you and your daughter.
Leslie
so like i am not sure how to react to latest in my own personal war against my exwife, and my jw parents who for some reason have decided to take up with my exwife...they send her nice regular emails and give her all the info on their regular life and they talk to her like a normal person.
my ex was never a jw...as df'd dub myself i shud have expected that kind of shallow behavior from my parents but for some reason i find that it still hurts to know that my own friggin parents wont communicate with me cuz of that stigma.
like my own friggin mom is going into the hospital cuz she has some type of growth in her brain and neither her nor my dad had the decency to let me know.
Dear Sal,
I am so sorry to hear that your parents are treating you in this way. It is so hurtful when it is your own parents. When the JW's say they are the ones showing love in the world it makes me want to puke. Always remember you are not the one that is the failure..they are failure as parents due to the control that the org. has over them.
All I know as a parent no one would ever tell me that I would have to turn my back on my own children because they no longer believe what I do. When you really sit back and look at it it just re-affirms that this religion is a cult. It tears people apart it does not show love and compassion. They only give those words lip service.
Leslie
im just wondering what kind of work people who post here do.
i believe amazing is a mechanical engineer (like me), xena is an office manager and you know washes windows.
and when youre not working, what does everyone do with their free time now that they dont have to knock on doors when the weekend rolls around.
I am a director of a Domestic Violence Shelter and do some teaching at a local community college and local university.
I like to camp, read, garden, watch movies, be a mom and partner to my husband.
Leslie
but now she's gone ...... from breast cancer a couple of years ago.
we prayed and prayed to jehovah in jesus' name: the "ask anything in my name" jesus.
we asked jehovah, not to cure her miraculously, because that's what people pray for in tent revival meetings.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss and the pain that both you and her experienced. I am sure that she was well aware of the love that you have for her.
Do whatever is needed to make some sense of it. We know there really is no complete understanding, but if making a shrine helps in the healing process then go for it. My heart goes out to you for all you have been through.
Leslie
hey wind, its so good to have you here.
Dear Wind;
Nice to see you on this board as well as Tim's. I am new here also. When I first logged on I had no idea how big this board was. It is fun to read so many different ideas, and see so many different personalities.
Leslie
last saturday, a former ministerial servant and pioneer committed suicide in the woodinville washington kingdom hall parking lot.
he was disfellowshipped several years ago, and according to the old sister that related the story to me today, he was depressed because no one would talk to him.
i don't know how i kept calm when she explained to me that "we couldn't talk to him...he was disfellowshipped.".
Dear Sabine;
This is just heartbreaking to even read about. My heart is aching for this young person that obviously was in so much pain. What is incredible is those at the KH probably used it as an example to others that "this is what happens when you turn your back on Jeh." Makes we want to puke!!!!
My heart goes out to you and your family as well. I am sure that just hearing this is like a flashback to the tragic events in your own life. Your courage to speak about it can help others that also suffer from painful depression and lack of self-worth. When you speak of your daughter I always think about a beautiful, sensitive young women that this religion put such a burden of perfection on, that they took all her strength. Her memory lives on through her family, and she becomes real to all of us.
Leslie
i was looking at another thread.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=24809&site=3.
and was wondering,if i'm not being too forward, what kh did everyone here go to.. i used to go to the cranston kh in ri, usa .
North East PA
Conewango NY
Wilmington VT
Hazelhurst GA
Ramona CA
Jamestown, NY
Leslie
as an ex presiding overseer and public affairs spokesperson who is now disfellowshipped!!!
i am new to this site and have read with keen interest the many and varied topics that have been posted.
during my 9 years of presiding i encountered certain corrupt c/os for example the friends would treat them like little demy gods, hanging onto their every word, they would, on their visit influence the brothers to part with cash for privledges.
Welcome to the board Martin we all look forward to hearing more of your experiences.
Certainly in the JW religion if you are a CO, DO, Presiding Overseer these are positions of power. If a person already has power issues he is going to abuse that power. There are some I would guess, in the minority, that do not have power issues and these are the ones that are geniunely concerned for the brothers and sisters.
Of course, in my view there is no way to have a balance of power since you have a male dominated organization. Unless there is a balance of power between gender, ethnicity, social economic backgrounds you will always have ones that oppress others. Just my thougts.
Leslie
