lisaBObeesa

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Posts by lisaBObeesa

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  42

  A “Born ins” challenge to develop a "post cult" personality.

  by stuckinamovement in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a born ins challenge to develop a post cult personality.. mentally leaving the organization can be traumatic for a number of reasons.

  one of the biggest challenges for born-ins in finding their pre cult personality is that our entire personalities are based on the religion.

  there is no such thing as a pre cult personality for us.

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  lisaBObeesa

  Stuckinamovement, your post is so clear and beautiful describing what it is like to be born in, and the work that must be done once a person is out. It also lines up perfectly with child development theory.

  From the perspective of child development theory:

  Children raised JWs are not allowed to develop normally because their adolescent developmental NEEDS are not met.

  Each stage of human development has certain needs, and these needs must be met for development to proceed in a healthy way. Infants need to learn to trust and to feel secure. Preschoolers need to practice doing things on their own (‘NO! Let ME do it! I can pour the milk myself!) School age kids need to DO stuff (bike ride, build models, play house, whatever)

  JWs can raise very developmentally healthy children.... up to this point.

  But adolescents have needs, too. They NEED to try out identities (am I a preppy person? A rocker? An athlete?). They NEED to feel connected to a wide variety of peer groups to do it. They try out different clothes, music and friends. They need to question their beliefs and look for reasons for beliefs. JW parents who insist on following the Borg rules cannot allow their children to meet these developmental needs. Forcing an adolescent to live by Borg rules is abusive and damaging to their development.

  Because JW adolscents can't do the important work of adolescence, people raised as JW don't achieve the results of all that work: their own adult identity. (instead they become 'identity forclosed' or 'identity diffused.')

  We who were raised in have to go back and do the developmental work of adolescence that we didn't do as teenagers. It takes teenagers 5 to 8 years to do this work and establish an identity of their own, so we should give ourselves lots of time. After all, we have to do the work of being adults AND the work of adolescence at the same time, so it could take us longer. And we should be very patient with ourselves, allowing ourselves to go out on limbs to try things, allowing ourselves to try things and fail, or try identities and then reject them when we find 'that's not me'....this is all part of the process....

  The good news is that we are normal, we are not broken. We are just doing this work later than most people do it.
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  19

  Just owned (and pwned) a Jehovah's Witness website owner! Must Read!

  by garbonzo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i emailed the owner website that sells various jw and creationsit stuff, a guy who is supposedly a jw with these simple words:

  why is your website so hard to navigate?

  to which he must have taken negatively, and went on the defensive in an instant.

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  lisaBObeesa

  Nice one, Alfred!
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  66

  Loss of the Mashco Piro one of the last Stone Age Tribes

  by designs in

  1. social
  2. current

  isolated in the jungles of peru the mashco piro tribe may be near the end of its isolated existence.

  first loggers are moving in to their lands and now oil gas and mining operations will end 1000's of years of existence and way of life..

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  lisaBObeesa

  The one question that I asked myself at the time, and one that Cousteau never asked, was what the Aleutians thought about replacing canoes with boats.

  Well you would have to ask them to see how they felt about losing their hand-made canoes and their ability to make them.

  They obviously felt fishing was a lot easier.

  Did they? Or did they no longer know any other way? One would have to ask them.

  Mexican author Rosario Castellanos wrote a book called "Balún Canán", which means "Nine Stars" in one of the indigenous languages. In that book, her Indian characters fight for their right to learn Spanish. The masters used to forbid them to speak "Castille" because that way the Indians had to remain ignorant, and therefore would never be able to overcome their exploitation.

  Just because the indigenous peoples wanted stop being exploited by the Spanish who were crushing them doesn't mean they wanted to assimilate into the Spanish culture and lose their own culture, it means they wanted to survive once the Spanish culture had already taken them over. The Spanish were their "masters" so I guess these indiginous people were turned into slaves by the Spanish. They had no choice but to adapt...or remain slaves.

  Should I not have learned English, which has made me someone else?

  Clearly you have not lost your culture by learning English.

  Also it was your choice to learn English. You were not forced to learn English in order to escape slavery. Your culture values learning certain other languages and cultures, so you are just following your own cultural norms.
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  66

  Loss of the Mashco Piro one of the last Stone Age Tribes

  by designs in

  1. social
  2. current

  isolated in the jungles of peru the mashco piro tribe may be near the end of its isolated existence.

  first loggers are moving in to their lands and now oil gas and mining operations will end 1000's of years of existence and way of life..

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  lisaBObeesa

  It is ethoncentric and incorrect to think that our own culture is better than another culture. Western culture just is one of the many thousands of human cultures in the world today.

  The fact is, NO ONE wants to have their culture destroyed and replaced by an invading culture.

  No one. The original culture ALWAYS fights to maintain itself, because our culture is who we ARE as human beings. You take a way a person's culture and you take away their identity, their past, their traditions, their values...you destroy something precious.

  Western culture though, has as part of its own culture to steamroll smaller cultures and assimilate them.

  What a barbaric culture we are part of here in the West...
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  19

  Wish I didnt know....Part 1 My Story

  by Wishididntknow in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  [if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>normal</w:view> <w:zoom>0</w:zoom> <w:punctuationkerning /> <w:validateagainstschemas /> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:saveifxmlinvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:ignoremixedcontent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables /> <w:snaptogridincell /> <w:wraptextwithpunct /> <w:useasianbreakrules /> <w:dontgrowautofit /> </w:compatibility> <w:browserlevel>microsoftinternetexplorer4</w:browserlevel> </w:worddocument> </xml><!

  [endif][if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:latentstyles> </xml><!

  [endif][if gte mso 10]> <mce:style><!

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  lisaBObeesa

  Thanks for posting your story, Wishididn'tknow...can't wait for the second part....
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  4

  What People Talk About before they die - article on CNN

  by Gayle in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/01/28/my-faith-what-people-talk-about-before-they-die/?hpt=hp_c1.

  this was off the cnn site today,,interesting,,.

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  lisaBObeesa

  Beautiful article, thank you for posting it.
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  48

  i spoke with an elder about university

  by MsGrowingGirl20 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  he always tells me that i've adopted him as a father...we're pretty close.

  i spoke with him asking for some advice about whether or not to pursue my degree.he, to my surprise, couldn't give me his opinion.he told me that if he tells me how he really feels (he says he has some strong views on the matter) he may be disciplined for 'promoting higher education'....in effect he was telling me to go ahead and pursue my degree but not really saying it.

  he asked me to promise him that i'll speak to the presiding overseer and the circuit overseer....i haven't as yet.

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  lisaBObeesa

  "He asked me to promise him that i'll speak to the presiding overseer and the circuit overseer....i haven't as yet."

  Please don't do that. No good will come of it.

  Agreed! if you talk them and they 'strongly counsel' you against higher education and then you register for classes anyway, you will be being rebellious, you will be on their radar, you will be inviting trouble. Don't ask. Just do it and don't hide it but don't tell everybody about it either.

  Just quietly go to school.
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  18

  That one good friend

  by ballistic in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  recently i have an obsession with past times, i guess it's called middle aged or old aged, anyway.. i'm sure anybody out there remembers people from their childhood or growing up and thinks not a lot about it.. i remember some good jw buddies and here's an ode to them.. i met one outside a local cafe, and we stopped and looked at each other for 45 seconds, or what seemed like forever.

  because we lived in each others pockets and we got on so well.

  we would sit at our ibm 286 pcs and play wing commander to the late hour, and there was no internet.

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  lisaBObeesa

  Yeah, I had that friend. We were best friends as kids, young teens

  Then I didn't see her for years because I left the witnesses and didn't want to have 'that conversation' with her...I didn't want to say goodbye, so I didn't say anything.

  Then one day I was in her town and dropped by to see her... She was very kind and we had a nice visit. She had a picture hanging on the wall behind her couch that was the same picture I had hanging on the wall behind my couch back home. Turns out there were 5 or six things around her house that were the exact same things I had in my home. Just little things, but it was kind of weird to see so many of my things in someone else's house! There were many things that she was doing in her life that were the same things I was doing in my life...

  we still had everything in common... except religion. We should have been, and should still be, best friends, like sisters.

  But that was the last time I saw her...I guess it was over 20 years ago...
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  20

  GB Stridency: Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink Doesn't Work Anymore

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  currently, it often seems like everything that comes from the glorious masters of time and space (aka 'the governing body that couldn't shoot straight') sounds like it would be printed in capital letters if it was part of an email (very annoying).. which tells you that:.

  the old 'nudge, nudge, wink, wink' style of watchtower command and control ain't working anymore.

  wha' happened?

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  lisaBObeesa

  Heck, they even shunned each other in Nazi concentration camps, for God's sake!

  More info, please!
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  29

  "Forks Over Knives" Documentary on Link between Disease & Diet

  by skeeter1 in

  1. social
  2. physical

  i watched a 2011 documentary called "forks over knives".

  it disucusses the link between our diet and disease.

  both dr. oz & dr. gupta had positive things to say about it.

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  lisaBObeesa

  Its all about balance - this man is using scare tactics to promote his pet theory which no doubt is directly connected to his source of income.

  What 'scare tactics'?

  What 'pet theory'?