It's funny, because Satan doesn't even say much in the Bible. He is quite silent, and yet all sorts of impieties are attributed to him.
Satan is just a scapegoat used to blame all bad and wrongdoing upon him. Your fornication, adultery, thievery, etc., have nothing to do with him and everything to do with you.
I think a stupid passage is the one in which Satan attempts to tempt Jesus. Jesus is practically God, and he is supposed to fall for giving an act of worship to Satan? Don't be ridiculous.