LyinEyes

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Posts by LyinEyes

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  51

  for those who "grew up in the borg"

  by zev in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  at this late, middle stage of my life, i've started wondering, now that i know what i know, about the things in my life that i "lived" with.

  having been raised all my life in the "borg" i have known nothing else.

  when questions began forming years ago, it started me thinking.

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  LyinEyes

  Being raised in the borg has always been , for me, like being torn in two directions. I was to hate the world, but I loved it. I wanted to be so much growing up , but my dreams and talents all were thrown away. I very much deep inside , knew that there were so many things I HAD to do, never really wanting to do any of them. Like field service,giving talks, trying to make myself look better in others eyes. It got so exhausting that right before I left the borg , I was physically and emotionally sick! I have since found out at the age of 35 that I am finally free. I have always known who I really was on the inside , but now I can be that person. I dont have to answer to anyone but God. I am being to realize that I really like myself and I dont have that borg self condemnation and guilt anymore. I love the quote , "that which does not kills us ,only makes us stronger". That is so true for me, that organzation almost killed me, my life was so dull and I am finally starting to have a little fun. I feel like a kid again . I guess if I let what I went thru come to mind all the time I would be bitter everyday. But I am choosing to put the past behind me and it works for me. I do have days I want to choak the life out of some of the witnesses or do some little evil things to get revenge , but usually it passes! For now I also live by the quote,"To Thine Ownself Be True". What a new and wonderful feeling this has been , emotionally I am still healing , but I am sure I will survive this.
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  8

  "Frailty" might be a good movie to watch

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this new movie has an interesting theme: religious fanaticism that goes bad and leads to a murerous cult ofb three, with mind control and all.

  with the recent murders by witnesses who have become disillusioned with their faith, it might be a good watch:.

  "frailty," which opens today in the new york metropolitan region, is the directorial debut of bill paxton, who stars as dad.

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  LyinEyes

  I saw the previews for this movie and thought it would be a great one to see. I love psychological thrillers. Plus , it will be interesting to me because of the religious aspect. Please pass the popcorn!!
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  14

  Strange Brew (fluff)

  by Cowboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  wanted to be sure my fluff was clearly labeled as such.. something in chat last night got me to thinking about some of the strange mixed drinks i have willingly partaken of over the years.see if anybody can beat these.... (4) trash can punch-usually mixed in large quantities consisting of red hawaiian punch,mello yellow,pieces of fresh fruit,and ample quanities of everclear.

  (3)cherry limeaides w/vodka.

  (2)dr pepper w/brandy.

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  LyinEyes

  I think the trash can thing can not be beat cowboy !!! LOL
  Last nite on the chat had me laughing so hard, remember animal talking about the "wine shits" ? OMG That was so honest! I guess the worst thing I ever drank was tang and vodka, wasnt really all that bad, sad to say. I couldnt find any orange juice!! I must have been desperate. I find myself in that situation at times. HEHEHE
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  9

  my story... still unfolding

  by LyinEyes in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i will try to be to the point with this and make it as short and sweet as possible.

  my hubby is wild turkey and we have not been to a meeting since may of last year.

  he was the one who started having doubts and shared them with me, i hit the roof and told him he was gonna bring demons in our home!

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  LyinEyes

  I will try to be to the point with this and make it as short and sweet as possible. My hubby is Wild Turkey and we have not been to a meeting since may of last year. He was the one who started having doubts and shared them with me, I hit the roof and told him he was gonna bring demons in our home! But I knew he was smarter than that, he has always been a deligent student of the Bible and I knew if he saw something , it had to have some substance to it. I then started asking questions myself thru the internet and to make a long story shorter, we decided together that this was not the "truth" . We still are not sure what real truth is, and even if it is attainable, but we are studing and soaking in all we can about JW history and other religions too. We have 3 kids, the oldest is 15 and he too, wants no part of jw. My hub works out of state alot durning the year, so this was always a hardship on him as an elder. Well, last year we had the chance to leave town for work for over a month.
  We took that time to decide what to do with our lives now, where would we go from there. I laid out at the motel pool for a month, got a good tan, and read the Bible for the first time without a watchtower . Things started to seems so clear, and scriptures jumped out to me that I had never seen before. We knew we couldnt go back,
  he several weeks later and stepped down as an elder. They knew his work was a hinderance and at first never suspected "apostacy". That has been our stance for the last year almost, we didnt go to the memorial ,which was the first one I ever missed my whole life. I dont feel guilty anymore, I feel free and happy. I know many of you know the trauma of leaving the borg and the problems with getting over being brainwashed. That was the hardest thing for me, wanting to run back , just for safety , it was all I have ever known. But as others in ex jw chat rooms told me, there will be many stages of recovery. I think we are doing great as a family and I dont see that I will ever go back. I just cant trust JW anymore and I just dont beleive all the teachings , especially shunning, d/f .
  I just go day to day knowing that I accept Jesus sacrifice and I try to pray , I hope He will have mercy on all of us. I am sure he will.
  In the meantime, I am going back to relive some of my wasted teenage years by going out on weekends and dancing with my husband and trying to have some fun.
  I have alot of bitterness to the JW Org because of my own home life growing up a witness. My dad was an elder, therefore I could do no wrong or it would be hell to pay. Mother was hooked on prescription drugs, they were both hypocrites, but mom was very lonely and sad.
  When I was 17 , dad was still an elder , mom still on drugs, dad began an affair with a sister only 8 yrs older than me. Mom went to rehab and started smoking, got d/f , 4 months later , she killed herself. No one came to her funeral or even tried to help her.
  So I have bitterness , anger and I want a reckoning with some of the elders who turned their backs on her when she needed help. They let her problem go so dad could stay an elder. I only began to realize this , this year. I was so blinded by the way they did her.
  But my life is a good life, I am free , things are about to explode soon for us, we just stopped going to the meetings and they dont understand why. Well they have ideas of apostacy but are to afraid to ask. So they are beginning to shun us, and I am about ready to just write a letter of d/a . It would be closure for me . I will let you know how this story unfolds
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  46

  Song 113 - "We are Jehovah's Witnesses"

  by Simon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  song 113 - "we are jehovah's witnesses".

  i've seen pics of sharon stone.

  celebreties i'd love to bone.

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  LyinEyes

  And the winner of this year's song of the year, goes to ................................Simon!!!!
  (Applause , applause)
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  26

  What is your favorite color?

  by myself in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  oops sounds like another site some have talked about.

  must have been the years of brainwashing.

  * slaps the side of her head -out, out, out !!!

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  LyinEyes

  My hair is dark Auburn , which suits me fine.
  On my hubby , bald is in, shaven smooth like a baby's butt.
  With a goatee, of black hair, very striking .
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  4

  I'M I GOING CRAZY?

  by gilwarrior in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  i have reached a point where i am pissed off at everyone and everything.

  i have no friends.

  i don't know how to act in front of other people.

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  LyinEyes

  Well, i dont think you are crazy, maybe lonely. If you lived close you could go out with me and hubby and dance all nite. At least you wouldnt have to think about life for just a little while. Sometimes we need to cut loose and have some fun. We deserve it!!!
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  37

  If you could have one wish come true....

  by butalbee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if you could have one wish come true, what would it be?

  just one wish, that you would have to live w/ for the rest of your life, whether if be winning the lottery, finding true love, world peace, etc...what would you choose?.

  i know what my wish would be...i wish i never met him.

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  LyinEyes

  My wish would be to have eternal life here on earth with all of my loved ones, no sickness, no death. I want what I once beleived to be true. Maybe it will be true, I just dont know if I beleive that . But the idea of it was always and still is my dream come true. But if I can go to heaven , that would be cool too. I want to live happily ever after ,forever and ever!!!!!
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  22

  birthday...

  by zanex in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  its my birthday friday!

  i have a bunch of "worldly" friends that i really care about and they are all planning on taking me out but i hesitate...i just only recently within the last 2 years started taking active interest in my birthday so i only have a minimal idea of what to feel...i know i will go out and get trashed and plastered but i want to know what it feels like...i dont know if this post makes any sense haha i think i'm gonna just drink myself into a nice stupor and pass out somewhere hahaha...any tips or advice from anybody here?

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  LyinEyes

  Happy Birthday!!!! I hope you have a blast, but try to remember it the next day! Go out and get you some new duds and go styling, and dont forget the colonge!!!!Every girl is crazy for a sharp dressed man.
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  62

  23,720 JW child molesters

  by silentlambs in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  inside sources reveal,.

  23,720 and counting..... .

  child molesters on file at the home office in patterson ny .. this is now posted on the front page of my website.

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  LyinEyes

  If you doubt those numbers, just ask any ex elder if he ever had to deal with child molesters. I assure you he will say yes. And there are probably so many more cases that are not reported to the elders.
  There is even incest going on to such a sickening degree in the south.
  I was in a very small congregation only about 30 publishers and one bastard was molesting his own daughter at the age of 9 or so. I would have never have guessed he could have done such a thing. They are so evil and deceptive, they need to be castrated. And all that hide it ,the elders, right along with the molesters. Because not only is the child being molested by the pervert, the child is being abused by those who do not defend the helpless . I hope the dateline story will expose this gross practice and maybe it will open the eyes of parents who choose to stay in the JW org. to watch their kids and not trust anyone . For the childrens sake , something has to be done.