sd-7,
I agree counseling is a MUST! There must have been love and trust somewhere in the relationship but it has been stressed to the max if not completely dissolved by now. Especially with her turning you into the elders.
It sounds like there may be other things going on in her head as well as the religion issue. You don't say how old your baby is or if she worked prior to the birth of the child. Could she possibly be feeling a loss of self worth with staying home with the baby all day? I know that women say they want to be a stay at home mom but a lot of time they feel as if they have lost part of themselves and tend to blame it on the husband. Maybe a part time job to make her feel like an adult in the real world would help.
Your communication level is next to nill. If you cannot communicate honestly the marriage does not stand much of a chance. That means you being honest with her and her being honest with you. She may not even realize what her true feelings are with the interuption of the elders.
I wish you good luck as this is very much an uphill battle, if you care for her and your child (which I very much believe you do) you will try and break through these barriers as honest communication is the only way to save our marriage.
MM