Interesting topic and perspectives. I'm 25, so of course some people might think that my mortality isn't really staring me in face as hard as someone older than I. I was raised a Witness. My father has told me he didn't think I would get to high school in "this system of things." I have to admit, I've had to wrestle a bit with my paradigm shift. I grew up believing it was very likely I would not have to die. However, fortunately, my dad always looked at things with at least some reality. He always taught me that my life could be taken at any moment. A car accident. A murderer. Some freak nature accident, tornado. Stray bullet from some irresponsible hunter in the woods. The wrong drug at the pharmacy. A freak accident on my bike. I'm don't think I'm a morbid person. But I'd like to think that I was at least a bit realistic back then about the possibility of death given the world we live in. So although I had the hope, I considered the possibility of death. Then in 1995, "new light" on the generation. I still firmly believed in the JW's then. That "new light" really didn't shake my faith at all. It did cause me to look at things differently. So although the WTS was saying that the end was as urgent and more urgent than ever, I started considering that it was quite possible that I would die of old age. The way I rationalized it was that the end could come 5 seconds from now or 500 years from now. Either way, it would be short time to Jehovah. 1000 years is a day to God. And what's 1,000 2,000...years or any finite number of years compared to forever, an infinite amount of time. So while I want to serve God to the best of my ability, I was glad that I had already decided to attend college, and I had better prepare to take care of myself for a 'normal' life span. Of course that meant, I needed to avoid debt, (which I have to admit, I've failed to do, but it's not a hopeless situation. credit cards. I can fix that.) and I needed to make sure I saved money for retirement (I'm fortunate enough to have a job that has allowed me to start doing that.). I believed one could rely on Jehovah, but that meant that I relied on the brains and physical power that God gave me to make a living for myself. Well now that I've left that religion, presently I don't see any hope of some other life. I'm not saying that to knock any one's belief in God. However, I don't see a lack of belief in God, as a morbid or frightening way to go through life. I had observed even while a teenager as one JW's that people who lacked a belief in God or any sort of hope for some after life, still seemed to lead relatively happy lives. Some of them seemed more stable that people who claimed to believe and God. I saw that people's actual value system, the one evidenced by their actions, has nothing to do with whether they profess belief in a god or not. Some people are nice even when they don't believe they have to be good to get the reward of a happy after life. People are born, they grow old, they die. That's what everyone on earth can see. So when I dropped my hard-nosed belief in God, I didn't see that as a reason to give up hope of enjoying my time on earth. As far as facing the inevitable, I have already considered to some extent my death what kind of legacy I'd like to leave. What I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about is my decreasing physical abilities as I grow older. And I must admit that has been a source of some consternation. When I go, I hope that it is quick and painless. However, I know that if I get to enjoy some longer years, there will probably be some pains, and a greater chance for a loss of independence. I've seen how that can really hurt some older people, or even some younger people who sustain some lifetime disability. I know it would hurt me. Hopefully, I would be able to handle that emotionally, psychologically. And hopefully, if that does happen, I will have saved up enough money to at least put myself in a good nursing home or assisted care facility. I don't have any children, and personally I think having children for the purpose of having someone to take care of you in in your old age is bad reason to have children. However, I'd hate to end up burdening any other members of my family my age or younger, or older. Well those are my thoughts.
maxwell
JoinedPosts by maxwell
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Facing the inevitable....how will you handle it?
by Makena1 inor - how are you handling it?.
my subject is how we deal with getting older - realizing that we are headed in just one direction, aging and eventually dying.
for most of us born after wwii, raised as jw's, we did not give a thought to getting older.
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SEX SEX SEX SEX & MORE SEX
by Perfection Seeker inok, now that i have your attention................................... it seems like most of the witnesses i know, and who have posted here, say their parents kept them in the dark about sex.
do you agree?
my parents never discussed it at all- in fact- if they did- or saw a love scene on tv- my mom would always say "thats disgusting' (yeah, right mom) .
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maxwell
Had "the talk" when I was 11. But it wasn't as specific as it could have been. My dad told me what the male organ was, but only mentioned the female organ in a non specific way. I don't even think he used the word vagina. He just said the male organ fits naturally into the female genital area or something like that. A few years later, after hearing/seeing stuff in school, and health books, and putting 2+2 together, I was able to figure out that the a woman's belly button does NOT develop into her vagina. Believe it or not, that's the impression I had for a while.
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jw marriages age differences
by invisible inof 3 that straightaway spring to mind:.
dg (m) 64 e (f) 27. bm (m) 49 d (f) 18. pl (m) 43 e (f) 18.
2 of the above were also 'arranged' marriages, do you know of any other instances of extremes in jw marriage age ranges?
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maxwell
In the congregation I grew up in there was a couple where the wife was 20 years older than the husband. However, I had no idea till they both died within a week of each other. First the husband died. Then sadly the wife died. She was in the hospital when her husband died, and people say she just gave up when she heard the news. Anyway, I guess I missed the husband's funeral, but when I went to the wife's funeral, I read the obiturary and was a little surprised to see that she was 75 while her husband was only 55. And apparently those were accurate ages. People told me that the wife got some heat for "robbing the cradle" when they got married about 30 years before. I think she had been married before. Personally, I don't think age difference should matter either way as long as they both are mature and well aware of what they're getting into.
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THE "FORWARDER'S" 12 STEP PROGRAM
by revdrjohnson inthe "forwarder's" 12 step program - everyone say it with me .... .
i will not get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing.
lists if i don't forward an email!.
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maxwell
<div class=code>
<p>That's great. I think I'll remember to send that to the next person who forwards me a chain letter.</p><p>On second thought, maybe preemptive action would be good. I can send it to everyone in my address book. And tell them to send it to everyone in their address book. And tell them to do the same. If we keep sending it, then everyone in the world will know not to forward.</p> </div>
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Does anyone here workout on a regular basis?
by Leander ini just wanted to get a little dialog going with some of the members here who workout.
i know reborn works out quite a bit and i've been doing fairly well as of recently in getting back into a regular exercise regimine.
so far i've worked out everyday for the past 17 days, i usually try to do weight training at least 3-4 times a week and i usually do some cardio everyday.
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maxwell
I started doing weight training 3 days a week about a month ago. I had been riding my bike to work (8 miles round trip) since May 2001 on days it wasn't raining and through the winter whenever the wind AND the cold didn't push me onto the bus. A month ago, I started increasing my bike riding. I had occasionally done 30 or 40 mile weekend rides, but started adding 13 mile extended rides on the way home, in order to get a cardio workout. Unfortunately my bike was stolen 2 weeks ago. And I wasn't motivated enough to use the cardio equipment in the gym/club to keep up. I just got a replacement last week. I'm going to get another for commuting and use the one I just got for exercise/recreation. I plan to do 15 miles 3 or 5 days of the week and 30 or 40 one day of the week probably the weekend. And of course I'd like to ramp that up. Yes I'm hooked to cycling. I'm getting a For Sale sign to stick in my car today. My goals: By the end of next summer, I hope to be able to do a century (100 mile bike ride). And be able to do a century at will on any weekend. There's a 36 mile mass group ride called BikeDC that I will participate go on this September. I'm also trying to knock off some weight or at least get rid of excess body fat. I weight about 220 now. I weighed about 180 when I got out of college 3 years ago. So I'd like to eventually get back to that or at least get rid of the extra fat in the stomach area and a few other places by the end of the year. If I put on muscle in the gym that might keep the weight up a little.
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Male and Female Friends
by StinkyPantz inmy husband and i have had sort of a disagreement of sorts.
he says that men cannot be friends with women.
he says that any man that appears to want to be friends with a woman really just wants to get in her pants, and if they end up friends it's purely by accident.
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maxwell
I'm a man. I believe that it is possible for a man and a woman to be just friends. It is my opinion that it is rare that a man and woman can be best friends only, but I think it does happen. I also believe, like someone else said, that in some cases a man and a woman can be friends only and have sex and continue to be friends only. Some people can think of it as just sex between friends. Some people can't have sex without attaching many other complicated things to it. I think a man could be friends with a woman he is physically attracted to, but not pursue her sexually. Honestly, if I pursued every woman I was physically attracted to, I'd drive myself crazy. I see physically attractive women everytime I walk down the street or down the hall at work. Also I do think it can be a challenge to keep it at a friendly level. I know this may sound like something the JW's would say, but I think in general, that if a man and a woman spend a lot of time alone together in private places, there is the possibility that passions will be aroused. Whether that would ruin the friendship or some other significant other relationship, depends on the people. I don't have a lot of friends, but I do have some female friends. I enjoy the company of women more than that of men, as long as they don't demand that I talk as much as women, because I talk even less than most men. Admittedly that may have something to do with the attraction to women's physical or feminine qualities, however I can and do simply enjoy their company and conversation without any thought of taking it further. Maxwell
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Bicycling
by Undecided indo any of you like bicycling?
i just got back from a little ride around my part of town.
there is hardly any traffic since no roads go anywhere from this part of town, the residential part that is.
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maxwell
I like bike riding. I've been riding for about a year myself as an adult. I'm 25, and I can ride about 40 miles comfortably in a day. One day I hope to be able to do the century. I live in the DC metro area where there's a lot of bikepaths and people on the roads are sorta used to seeing bikes. I ride the 4 miles one-way to work almost everyday.
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maxwell
Lisa
It was as I expected. My wife called one of her friends who was at the meeting and she said they annouced it. I'll post details later in the personal experiences section. But basically I confessed adultery. I didn't commit adultery to get out of my marriage or to get out of the organization, however, it did bring other doubts to the front, and confessing gave me an easy way out and allows my wife scriptural grounds for divorce. I told the elders April 8 and on May 1, they annouced my disfellowship. The process took a little longer than I expected, but was relatively quick I think. So maybe May 1, 2002 should be a day I should write down and always remember.
Maxwell
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3 somes
by Leander inhopefully this topic is'nt to offensive for the people here.
but i've always been curious about it.
when i first graduated high school my first full time job was at a mailroom over at the northwestern memorial hospital in chicago.
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maxwell
No, I've never been in a threesome.
Yes, I would like to try.
Don't have any particular people in mind, but I would like the other two to be women.
But, I might be open to being with a man and a woman as long as I don't have to interact with the man.Maxwell
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A big "thank you" to everyone here
by Simon inin the past i have sometimes felt like i have to be the 'bad guy', so to speak, because i need to lock or delete topics, deactivate people, try and stop fights and such like - basically, telling people off and not being 'nice'.. well, apart from the odd heated debate and harsh word (and disruptive 'visit') i have not really had a great deal to do for the past month or two and it has been very nice - a pleasure to serve.. so ... i thought i should say a 'thank you' instead of a "stop it!
" for once
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maxwell
Let me add my thanks as well. This has definitely made leaving easier.
Maxwell