Sheila, I know that sometimes people lose their jobs. I don't mean to say a marriage will fail because of that. And neither do I think they have to be rich, simply capable of working together to get food, clothing and shelter, the necessities. Sometimes along the way circumstances might dictate that they need some help, but I think at least at the start, the plan should be do it on their own.
maxwell
JoinedPosts by maxwell
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61
Were you married at the Kingdom Hall ? How bad was your wedding reception ?
by run dont walk ini'm just wondering...... i remember going to some wedding receptions for couples who got married at the kingdom hall,.
and i hate to be mean but, super boring, and bad, how bad you ask ??
ok here we go ..... - the worst had to be one couple played kingdom meolodies for their wedding dances, i couldn't believe it.. - no alcohol (i'm sure we all experienced a few of these), reception was over by 9:30.. - no music at all, just a gathering of people, and they ended the reception with a prayer, i thought i was at an assembly.. - food, like if you can't afford to get married don't, like frozen stuff bought at your local grocery store, and still in the package when you got up to the tables, how tacky.. - you could always tell a couple who couldn't afford much, when you had to drive 50 miles into the back woods to find some dinky little community hall they rented for $100.. - i remember one where the bride was pregnant, i was really surprised they allowed them to use the kingdom hall.. - another classic was, they had this band (of all jw's of course) and man they were bad.
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61
Were you married at the Kingdom Hall ? How bad was your wedding reception ?
by run dont walk ini'm just wondering...... i remember going to some wedding receptions for couples who got married at the kingdom hall,.
and i hate to be mean but, super boring, and bad, how bad you ask ??
ok here we go ..... - the worst had to be one couple played kingdom meolodies for their wedding dances, i couldn't believe it.. - no alcohol (i'm sure we all experienced a few of these), reception was over by 9:30.. - no music at all, just a gathering of people, and they ended the reception with a prayer, i thought i was at an assembly.. - food, like if you can't afford to get married don't, like frozen stuff bought at your local grocery store, and still in the package when you got up to the tables, how tacky.. - you could always tell a couple who couldn't afford much, when you had to drive 50 miles into the back woods to find some dinky little community hall they rented for $100.. - i remember one where the bride was pregnant, i was really surprised they allowed them to use the kingdom hall.. - another classic was, they had this band (of all jw's of course) and man they were bad.
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maxwell
I agree with the dissent about the cost of a wedding. A couple should have certain financial means (someone needs a job or big fat inheritance) before getting married for their ongoing day to day living after getting married, but that has nothing to do with the wedding. Of course, in some cultures, its probably acceptable to live with parents or relatives after getting married, so financial means may even be less of a factor. But spending large gobs of money on a wedding shouldn't be a priority. Not that I knock big expensive weddings. I've enjoyed a few, but if a couple doesn't have the money or chooses to save the money for other things, in most cases, I'd probably think they were taking the wiser choice.
My wedding was fairly small. I didn't have much money, neither did I know many people. Small procession. And a reception at a community center. We didn't have alcohol. Although we were both of legal age, neither of us had ever drank anything before so it was not on the radar. It was mostly potluck. The "sisters" we knew were fairly good cooks and I made sure to send thank you notes to all of them. The one thing I would have a laugh at is the dancing. We did play pop music, hip hop and R & B, "worldly" music if you will. Of course, nothing to risque. But if you've been at any JW gathering in the South or on the East Coast and I'm sure this is true in other parts of the US, they always, and I mean ALWAYS do the Electric Slide. And people end up doing that for half of the dance time. Lately, they've added the Cha-Cha. Both dances are very old, though they've updated them a little. I guess if you get everyone doing those dances, there's no chance for anyone to get involved in any "questionable" type dancing.
My wedding costs were under $1,000 dollars. Yet, I know the average costs of weddings these days to be in the $10,000 and up range. I went to another sisters wedding before I left. I know her wedding was somewhere in the $20,000 or up. I'm not judging. If she has it like that, that's really cool for her. The reception was at a hotel banquet room. We had a three course meal with servers of course. Main course, filet mignon. The one and only time I've had that. Guests 150-200. Entertainment mostly by Witnesses, but she did have one professional act. Her family was originally from Panama and they had some traditional Panamanian dancers for a few acts. I had a good time, and I think the couple enjoyed themselves. I hope they did considering all the money put into it. But I couldn't see myself spending that much money for a 3-4 hour party.
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Got Crisis of Conscience Today...
by berylblue in...and i'm afraid.
i know the result of reading this will most likely be putting the final nails in the wts coffin.... .
rosemarie
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maxwell
I'm in the middle of reading it now. Not very much that is surprising about failed phropecies so far. People have mentioned most of them here on this board. Looking ahead in the book, I can't wait to read the part about generation, because I was actually around at that time and I actually made my mind bend around some of that new light. Other interesting things are how the Watchtower has tried to explain away false prophecies, blame failed expectations on the flock, and just plain cover up mistakes in the past. For me, it is somewhat refreshing to be able to look at this and look back at publications I have read with a clearer mind and not some preconceived notion of what I should believe. I've already seen enough evidence to know that JW are not truth, but I remember as I was slowly starting to reach that conclusion, that I actually forced my mind to believe some of the JW doctrine.
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How many of you were disfellowshipped?
by Oxnard Hamster injust curious.
i get the impression from reading posts that a great deal are.
i also noticed while i was studying with them that virtually everybody has/had a relative that was disfellowshipped or knew someone who is/was.
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maxwell
Disfellowshipped. And I won't pretend what I did was not wrong even to most people in general normal society. But I never really had very strong social ties with anyone in the congregation, and I had come to the point that I didn't believe in JW anymore. So I used my indiscretion (adultery) to make a quick and clean break. I told the elders what I had done. I said I was not repentant and they had to DF fairly quickly with only one attempt to "readjust" me. Disassociation would have probably gotten more attempts at "readjustment" or attempts to find "dirt". If I had tried to fade, I'd still be doing it now. That would have been agonizing with my parents and other people trying to "help" me.
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Do You Know Of Reasons Why Some Got Removed From Their Privileges?
by minimus inpioneer, ms, elder publisher???
?
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maxwell
Yes.
My father stepped down from elder when I was a teenager and is still not one to this day. I've never found out exactly why. The night before the meeting at which it was announced he told us that they were announcing it and he said it was not because of anything we (my siblings and I) had done. I think he said something about taking a break. There could have been some internal struggle with the elder or maybe he really just got tired of the job and is happy being a regular R & F JW.
Another elder who was also the PO stepped down and it was obvious. His daughter had just been reproved for fornication and was pregnant. He eventually returned to being an elder.
I was never an elder but was removed from my "privileges" of microphone handling once for being the drum major in my HS band and later for having hours that weren't high enough. My hours never really improved after the second removal, but I guess they were having a shortage of workers so my "privileges" were restored. Funny thing is though my microphone handling privileges were taken that second time, someone decided it was still ok to ask me if I'd help cut the grass at the KH. I was like ok. But my father wasn't keen on that. He talked to them and they decided to rescind their invitation to allow me the "privilege" of helping with the grass cutting.
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Long hair
by A Paduan incan i get some comment on long hair, please.
- he shall be holy; he shall let the locks of hair of his head grow long
- no razor shall come upon his head, for the boy shall be a nazirite to god from birth
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maxwell
Yes there definitely appears to be a contradiction in the Bible here. I haven't been reading the Bible lately, but the contradictions do appear to be between the Hebrew Scriptures and the Greek Scriptures. Supposedly, when Jesus came, much of the old Law Covenant for the Isrealites no longer applied to Christians. Appears to be some arbitrary new rules there.
I like long hair on women. Short haired women are attractive too, but I personally prefer long hair speaking purely physically. I caught a glimpse of some TV magazine show one night (Entertainment Tonight or Access Hollywood, don't know which). They were saying that finally women over 35 were allowing their hair to grow, something about how in the past women over 40 felt that they had to cut their hair short in order to be taken seriously. If that's true, I think its totally absurd.
On men I don't care. I keep mine cut really close, but think it's cool for other guys to express themselves with long hair if they like.
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Do You Feel That Your Parents "Did a Good Job" Raising You?
by minimus inbeing raised a witness, my mother has asked me whether or not i held her responsible for her bringing me up in the way that she has.
i feel that my upbringing is something my mother can be proud about.
even though i do not believe in the "truth", i do feel that she did a good job of raising us.
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maxwell
I think they did for the most part. They weren't perfect, but I never desired another set of parents. Despite being raised as a JW, they did provide me with all the physical necessities I needed and more for 22 years of my life. They gave me a stable living environment and I enjoyed the influence of both my mother and father. And as I saw one other poster mention, they actually taught me to think, which contributed to my leaving the JW.
My father is very smart. He's just got some blinders on concerning JW stuff. Most non-JW can sense that there's something wrong with JW, but very few have the knowledge or logical ability to articulate what might be wrong. Very few people who chose to engage my father in Biblical discussion in field service had the ability to defeat his logic. Of course, if they were satisfied with their position, there would be no reason for them to do the kind of research necessary for this. I can only remember one person in field service actually saying something that I felt my father didn't answer successfully.
Many of my parents lessons were NOT couched in JW terms. One of my fathers own personal pieces of wisdom, was "Son, always do what you feel is right". He would say this completely detached from JW doctrine. Another thing he told me was that 'A man doesn't make decisions based on what other people want him to do'. (Of course this applies to women to, but with my father and I, some things were just about the basic progression of a boy to a man.) So now that I've left, although my father disagrees with my decision, I think he respects it, and I respect his decision and I try to be respectful of other people around me. That's something my parents taught me and I think they would have taught me those basic human relations skills whether we were JW or not.
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Could you ever go back ??? What would the elders ask/make you do ???
by run dont walk innot meant to give anyone nightmares !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
i'm sure we will all answer no, but for the fun of it, what would have to happen for you to return to the kingdom hall,.
and what would the elders/judicial committee say to you if you wanted to go back.. do you think even if you returned with a new attitude, that you would always be "marked" by the congregation.. should get some interesting answers !!!!!!!!!
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maxwell
They have make it a religion where the only requirement is that women intoxicate men with their bosom. Proverbs chapter 5:19.
Seriously, I could never go back.
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Ozzie's Weekend Poll #55
by ozziepost inyou gotta hand it to old ozzie!
he sure is determined.
soviet era establishment about as far north as you can get on this planet.
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maxwell
From 1914 to whenever Armageddon was to start. I don't know if that classifies as 1 or 11.
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Stood in line for an hour and a half Friday night/saturday morning...
by Eyebrow2 inbut we got the new harry potter book!.
woohooo!!!!!!.
i was amazed how many high school and college aged kids were there....jk rowling certainly has a gift.
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maxwell
I've never had any desire to read Harry Potter books. When J. K. Rowling's first book came out, I was still holding to the society's "no demonic stuff" rule, although I was starting to think how this compared to many fairy tales I had read in the past. Now that I'm completely, out I still don't have a desire to read Rowling's books, although, if they happened to come on TV, I'd probably sit down and watch Friday the 13, or Halloween and various other horror and horror/sci-fi movies that I avoided in the past. I like the X-files and Twilight Zone now..
Still you have acknowledge that J. K. Rowling must be onto something with all the money she's making. Kinda like Jerry Springer. If I knew how to do that, I'd do it too, no matter how silly the story line and writing is.