Posts by ThinkerBelle

24

Why JWs record and report time?

by ThinkerBelle in

okay, so yes, i'm a born-in, but this point has always baffled me (and i guess i never bothered to research or ask).

what is the purpose of counting time in service?

when was it started and why?

ThinkerBelle

Okay, so yes, I'm a born-in, but this point has always baffled me (and I guess I never bothered to research or ask). What is the purpose of counting time in service? When was it started and why? Since I'm still effectively "practicing" by motions, I don't keep track of my time during the month and just write random numbers on the sheet at the end of the month to look like I'm active (I've hardly been out at all over the last couple months, I just can't bring myself to talk about something I don't believe in).....how many others do this (I know I can't be the only one)? That would make the yearly reports not very accurate in proving growth.

21

'Seek the Kingdom First' Economics

by Tornintwo in

jw
friends

has anyone else's family finances been victim to the 'seek the kingdom first' economic policy?.

for years, my husband and i have had our own business, my husband is not the most proactive guy, prefers to go in field service than to work, but he has always encouraged me to 'rely on jehovah and all these other things will be added to you', 'seek the kingdom first' etc etc.

there have been times, such as when i was heavily pregnant and we lost a big deal, that i have been begging jehovah on hands and knees to honour that promise, wondering why he wasn't helping us.

ThinkerBelle

Don't forget the lovely little quip "God won't give you more than you can handle". Ugh, I hate these phrases some days.

Sorry, I know that's not advice. I'm kind of in your same position and just taking it day by day. I've gone back to college to finish my degree so I can make double the income I make now, so take that GB!

112

Did an EX-JW wake you up to TTATT or did you put the effort to wake up yourself?

by John Aquila in

how many of us were woken up by some apostate yelling false prophets at a convention?.

how many of us were woken up by someone holding a sign and yelling, what happened to 1975.

how many of us were coerced to investigate the wt because some ex-jw pulled up a bunch of old watchtowers magazines and told us to read the false predictions?.

ThinkerBelle

I'm not sure what exactly was thw "aha" moment for me, but apostates weren't involved initially. I had been researching holidays online ( but never went to apostate sites) and found some stuff contradictory to what I had always been taught. I didn't pursue it. Then I took a religion class ( professor happened to be atheist, but never forced those views on us) that covered the ancient religions to modern day and I was shocked that Christianity had a lot of similarities to the old religions. Professor really got us to think about and thoroughly explain our stance which got me really thinking about what I believe. So I explored and found COC and jwfacts and lets just say that got the ball rolling.

Edit to add: looking back, I never had strong faith in the jws, just did it because that was what I had been raised as so didnt really question anything even though it didnt seem normal - never "made the truth my own"

12

I had a melt down with my Father over my Mom and Sister not coming to my daughter's Birthday Party.

by adjusted knowledge in

last year my daughter had her first birthday and all my wife's family and friends were there.

my family didn't attend.

my mother and sister still believe in the jw teachings even though they are both considered inactive.

ThinkerBelle

Hm, I can understand being upset, but since you also lived the life, there should be some understanding there too. I don't feel my chuldhood was wasted at all; I have very fond memories, maybe I'm one of the lucky ones since my parents weren't overly strict. My MIL who is I guess considered inactive or informally DA tells me of the struggle with guilt over holidays knowing what she knows from the JWs. Even though your mom and sister are considered inactive, they aren't out of that mind set, and hokidays/birthdays may be one of those lines they don't want to cross. There are other religions that don't celebrate these either, JW are not unique in that. You will just have to accept that. In my opinion, and maybe this is based off how I was raised, but holidays and birthdays aren't the be all, do all that make a childhood memorable - my in laws are a nightmare around the holidays!!

29

me and my new girlfriend

by justthenorm in

you see ive started dating this girl and her family is of strong jehova belief.

now i am not i do see certain things in there studie that is true in my opinion but ive never really been a religion type of person.

i think i want to marry her but i am not a jehovas witness and am not looking to be anytime at all she says that is ok and we can still get married but i dont know how its possible or where we would even do it please i need advice

ThinkerBelle

I'm going to go against the grain here and before you dump her or stay away as others have said, find out her intentions with the religion. Maybe ipen her eyes as ithers have said with jwfacts and see where it goes. I married a "worldly" person when I was young because I got pregnant and was scared knowing full well the consequences within the religion ( he had actually studied prior as a child as his mom used to be in so he knew his JW stuff). My parents were upset, but they came to accept him and now we are all good. I did go back, but never pushed him to do anything and we would visit his relatives on holidays......my family even did that as most are not in. So gauge where she is at with her family as well because that is actually the hardest part, but even when I was out, my parents didnt shun me the way the org tells you to. If you really do like this girl, figure out some of those things before you jump into marriage, being disfellowshipped is hard when you're indoctrinated and there is a major pull to get back in because of family. But, it may not be the end of the world either if she's willing to leave and has a support system to help her ( does your family like her? Does she have "worldly" friends?).

59

What does your baptism mean to you now?

by GiftsinMen in

i was baptised on 1st sept 1990, 25years ago today.

it is still a date with deep meaning for me.

i never dedicated my life to serving any man or any organisation, this was my choice - as a grown adult - to serve my god through jesus christ.

ThinkerBelle

My baptism was me going through a motion that was expected. I wasn't spiritually ready, that's for sure. I didn't feel or think any different afterwards. I just got tired of people asking me when.....because obviously if you are born-in and an elder's kid, you should be baptized by 13.

7

FMF 100th Post: Don't Go Through Life, Grow Through Life.

by freemindfade in

i have been waiting to post this 100th post to come up with something half decent.

while i was driving this morning this is what i was thinking about.

there are a lot of new folks on here, and who knows how many lurkers checking in.

ThinkerBelle

Inspiring words, Freemind and I love your title. I feel as if my mind wasn't as trapped into the religion as some on this board as I really was always a free thinker and explorer; I loved to read history and philosophy, even when I was younger.......for fun. I simply went about the motions and I could explain JW dogma to you just fine, doesn't mean I felt it in my heart. Once I let myself let that go and became willing to actually believe in something (rather than just read about it), I actually feel like I can form the open relationship with god that I think we're meant to have, not restricted by guidelines. I guess what has kept me a believer is the anticipation of seeing family again (resurrection? afterlife? Still figuring it out) and the thought that this life can't be all there is, can it? But maybe that's the JW talking. Regardless, I want my life to have more meaning than it has the last few decades and for my kids to not be restricted in their learning and growing. I've noticed a lot of newbies in my time lurking, and maybe more will come out of the shadows too, thanks to posts like these.

28

Intro and Thoughts

by ThinkerBelle in

jw
friends

i've been lurking on the board for almost a year now and i think i'm ready to come out of hiding (although, i'm so nervous as i type this).

i'm not ready to share everything about my story, but the basics are that i'm a born-in, elder's kid, baptized as a teenager because i was tired of hearing people ask me "all your friends are baptized, when are you going to get baptized?

", married an unbeliever (was df, but came back shortly after) and we have two kids.

ThinkerBelle

Zim, wow, presumptuous much? ( lol, I like that word now!). Going into detail may reveal too much so let's just say I was very young, husband was studying and a believer at the time, things happened very fast and there really wasn't any way to hide it, if you catch my drift. I got back as fast as I could as Im very close with my parents more so than other family members and didn't want the stigma of the label. I've always been a people pleaser and worried about disappointing my parents; I know that has to do with how I've been raised in the religion. I'm just not a confrontational person at all and therefore, wouldn't create theatrics or start blasting anyone/thing on purpose. I'd rather just fade, but do have kids to think about. My husband has never told me to not be a JW and wouldn't try to stop it, he really couldn't careless. He started having doubts about God after he became an unbaptized publisher and he quit going. I was the one that presented him with everything I was learning online about the org and he was pretty surprised and shocked, but he left the decision up to me and understands the difficulty of it all. Thanks for the encouraging words everyone, they really do mean a lot.

28

Intro and Thoughts

by ThinkerBelle in

jw
friends

i've been lurking on the board for almost a year now and i think i'm ready to come out of hiding (although, i'm so nervous as i type this).

i'm not ready to share everything about my story, but the basics are that i'm a born-in, elder's kid, baptized as a teenager because i was tired of hearing people ask me "all your friends are baptized, when are you going to get baptized?

", married an unbeliever (was df, but came back shortly after) and we have two kids.

ThinkerBelle

Thanks for the welcome everyone! And thanks for the info, Saint - I will need to look into that.

I do rely on my mother quite a bit for childcare, which makes things hard if I did outright leave. The people in my hall are really nice too, may are supportive of my college education, which I'm surprised. Many of them I grew up with - most of their kids no longer in "the truth" - however, I never formed close friendships with anyone, I was just simply so and so's daughter, I do have a few "close" friends, but I have to be in JW mindset with them so I'm not really myself per say. I guess I've always been the type that was accepting of everyone and non-judgmental, so I never really developed that typical JW mindset, which I guess is why I even gave these forums a second thought. I never really questioned my beliefs until recently, it was simply what my parents taught me, I didn't want (or like) being shunned, so here I am, still in. Looking back though, I don't think I really believed it all either, it just took reading other people's experiences to get the rose-colored glasses off.

Just the other day, I read some of the first posts of this site. I was intrigued that Simon asked a question exactly as I had been pondering - why, if Jesus "arrived" in 1914, do we still celebrate the memorial. I've thought about asking my dad this question. I should insert here that my MIL was a JW and has been DA informally for probably 20 years or so, but always grappled with whether to go back or not (my husband had studied as a child and an adult, but ever came in). I've broached some topics with my parents simply by stating my in-laws asked and I need to know how to respond.

Again, thanks for the welcome, and I know you'll be seeing pop up hear and again with a comment or thought!

28

Intro and Thoughts

by ThinkerBelle in

jw
friends

i've been lurking on the board for almost a year now and i think i'm ready to come out of hiding (although, i'm so nervous as i type this).

i'm not ready to share everything about my story, but the basics are that i'm a born-in, elder's kid, baptized as a teenager because i was tired of hearing people ask me "all your friends are baptized, when are you going to get baptized?

", married an unbeliever (was df, but came back shortly after) and we have two kids.

ThinkerBelle

I've been lurking on the board for almost a year now and I think I'm ready to come out of hiding (although, I'm so nervous as I type this). I'm not ready to share everything about my story, but the basics are that I'm a born-in, elder's kid, baptized as a teenager because I was tired of hearing people ask me "All your friends are baptized, when are you going to get baptized?", married an unbeliever (was DF, but came back shortly after) and we have two kids. I'm ready to get out of this dictating organization! My main reason for staying in is my family - only my husband, his parents/siblings, and a good friend, all non-witness, know my thoughts. About half my family is in and the other half out, but the main thing keeping me in are my parents. What started me on this journey is actually researching the holidays and my brother-in-law who professes to be an atheist. I was looking for information to defend our beliefs and of course, came across many different views and found this website. I quit looking after a couple months, but then started up again as I took a religion course in college and was mightily surprised. Delving into the beliefs of the ancient religions and then studying Judaism and Christianity just opened the door for so many questions and validity. I then of course, found jw facts and well, the rest is probably very familiar history for many on here. Having in-laws and husband not in, I do have a channel for discussion, thankfully. There are many times I wanted to comment on this forum, but was too nervous and afraid of being found out or lightning striking so I refrained.

My faith in everything I have been taught and regurgitated for so long is being brought into question. I still want to believe in a God, a creator, I think - although I've gone back and forth on the topic. I do believe in spirit beings mostly because of the experiences of my husband and in laws had that were retold to me. My MIL had issues with spirits - like things moving across a room, doors closing, and actual "forms" interacting - as a youngster that followed into adult life where my husband saw some of the things as a child. How do non-believers explain phenomenon like that? And these aren't "crazy people", especially my husband, he's a no BS type of guy. So right now, I'm just trying to take it all in and started reading other versions of the Bible and in context. I did read CoC over summer and about to start Freedom, but I am in college full time, so my reading time has been cut drastically short. I'm also looking at other religions, I still think I want to be part of a community of believers and am considering visiting some other churches, if anything, just to see what it's like. I've always wondered why other churches have programs for children & teens, but the jws don't, this bothers me. This is the first year I haven't told my kids' teachers that they are jws and I told them it was up to them what they wanted to do and not do as we embark on this journey.......just don't tell grandma.

I also just attended the regional this past weekend and what really made me curl under my skin were two things (I did walk around the back a lot though, so the list could have been longer). The intro to the new Jesus book, the speaker said (paraphrasing) that this was an update of the old one that reflects the "new light" - this is one thing that has been bothering me the last couple years - why so many changes if we are supposed to be God's direct channel and, only when something needs to be changed, are we presented magically with this new interpretation? The other thing was in the last talk given by a CO; he read the scripture in Matthew about the two gates and made the statement that "ALL" jws are on that narrow road and everyone else in the world is on the broad one. What was funny, is that just prior to this, he had been reading scriptures about not judging and provided one of those famous lists that queues everyone to grab a pen about not judging ourselves, the "friends", and those in our ministry. Isn't that exactly what he did with that statement?

Anyways, that's my little intro (well, it did get wordy, sorry, I'm an English major); I think I'm ready to start venturing out past my comfort limits now and see where this life leads me.