MegaDude

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Posts by MegaDude

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  16

  NOW I've done it! More engagement news...

  by Billygoat in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  as most of you know, neil and i have been engaged for about two weeks now.

  i was surprised and thrilled to hear him ask and am looking forward to spending my life with my best friend.

  for those of you who don't know neil personally, he's really the best thing to ever happen to me!

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  MegaDude

  Andi a/k/a Mrs. Mozzer4life,

  Pretty cool of you to offer an olive branch like you did to your dad on you and Neil's most special day. If I was getting married, can't say I would want any Jehovah's Witnesses there, family or not. I don't have much use for relatives that shun me. Wow, you're offering to tailor the ceremony if he will show up. That can't help but show him how much you want him there. How can he not be touched by that?If he shows up, it might be a step towards healing your relationship, but if not, you certainly took the high road in even bothering to invite him. That says a lot of good about you.
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  24

  JW's and the (in?)ability to write coherently

  by Billygoat in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been a member of this board since summer of last year.

  i'm also a member of several jw groups on yahoo.

  i love posting stories on the pedophilia scandal or the un stuff just to see what everyone else says.

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  MegaDude

  I do say, Ms. Billygoat, I read your most urgent and appropriate post over tea and crumpets at my weekend estate and must say brav-vo, my lady, for your astute rendering of this insidious ineptitude. I am rather appalled, appalled I say, at the uncivilized misuse of the King's good English by these loutish religious barbarians, these
  self-proclaimed Jehovah's Witnesses. I do say, perhaps these utter pillagers of proper punctuation show their true lineage and bad blood by their lowly and erroneous diction. My fox hounds have better breeding.
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  17

  "The Trinity" - My Thoughts

  by Olympiad in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  the trinity my thoughts.

  the thought behind the trinity is not so hard to understand or appreciate if you approach if from a philosophical viewpoint.

  you must look beyond the obvious.

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  MegaDude

  God could have given a one or two verse explanation of the exact relationship parameters of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, but obviously he didn't think the subject was important enough to spell it out clearly and simply. As Jehovah's Witnesses we were put in this mindset of making a virtual Mt. Everest out of minor doctrinal issues. And I spent years researching various Watchtower doctrine, simply for the fact that people I cared about were in that cult. I think it was time well spent to help JWs, but I think God could hardly care if we have the correct understanding of the Trinity or not.
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  21

  CARROT, EGG, OR COFFEE BEAN

  by Billygoat in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i usually delete these type of emails, but thought it was an interesting analogy and i thought i'd share.... .

  a young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.

  she did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.

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  MegaDude

  I'm a coffee-flavored egg.
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  14

  Bill, in newspapers everywhere....

  by Cassiline in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  even in my small "bfe" town.

  thanks for giving a voice to silentlambs everywhere!!!.

  http://members.aol.com/cassilines/myhomepage/witnesses4.jpg?mtbrand=aol_us.

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  MegaDude

  The story Elsewhere posted was on page four of the Dallas Morning News. Can't wait to show my annointed mother the paper.
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  40

  The sob story continues,,,

  by Elsewhere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think i may have pissed off the gods or something.

  ;) my luck just turned further south... i just totaled my car.. i was coming around the bend where 360 north exits to the 183 east and west fork in arlington texas.

  as i came around, there was suddenly a long line of stopped cars.

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  MegaDude

  Having witnessed the damage to Elsewhere's car firsthand, I can say I am now a true believer in air bags, and that I promise, promise, promise to always wear my seatbelt. (Still amazed someone could walk away from a mangled car like that.)
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  22

  Possesed Smurf doll walks out of Kingdom Hall!!

  by JamesG in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey,.

  new to this site, yippee!!!!.

  has anyone heard the story about the possesed smurf doll that got up and walked out of the kingdom hall?.

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  MegaDude

  The story about the Smurf is true. I had the priviledge of microphone duty during the Service Meeting when a Smurf got out of control on the third row and started running around the kingdom hall. I grabbed it. All brothers assigned to the microphones have the privilege of wrangling demonized Smurfs. Big mistake. The Smurf bit me and I was forced to pound it with the mike stand until it submitted. With the help of three elders all bellowing "Jehovah" at the top of their lungs, we took the wrangled Smurf outside where an elder tried to set it afire by lighting it with a match. But demonized things don't burn, even if the label on the Smurf says "fire retardant." Holding our New World Translations up in front of us, we backed away from the blue demon until we were safetly back in the kingdom hall. We had a special needs talk the following week on bringing Smurfs to the hall.
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  9

  Carmegeddon and The Chickens of the Apocalypse

  by Valis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  valis' day: .

  flat tire before leaving work......replacement $44.00 and 1.5 hours wasted.. mother of kids calls just to let me know she's moving away again, for a new job and a free place to live in south texas.

  just when you think that paying your child support on time for 3 years, mending one's ways and spending more time w/kids, plus helping them pack up and move to a new place just a month ago, will pay off in the end...... what was i thinking?

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  MegaDude

  Ex-wives...

  Can't live with them...can't live with them.

  (((Valis))))
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  40

  Long time no type! What's up?

  by SlayerLayer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey everybody!

  who missed me?

  i've missed you guys a lot.

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  MegaDude

  Take care to immediately close out all credit cards that you and your present wife have. I constantly see crazy spouses, male and female, grabbing the credit cards and going on a spending spree to hurt the other party when they split up.

  If you have any money in bank accounts, secure it in your name.

  Change your locks.

  Get a lawyer and divorce this horrible person.

  Try and remember that one day you'll look back on getting out of this marital union from hell as the best decision you ever made in your life.
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  22

  Soon... very soon

  by Elsewhere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  any day now.. just around the corner.

  sooner than you think.

  i'm sick of hearing that from my dad.. "as every one knows, there are mistakes in the bible" - the watchtower, april 15, 1928, p. 126 .

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  MegaDude

  Else,

  I always like to answer JW sayings like "Soon, very soon, just around the corner" with a "What does that mean "very soon"? You mean *soon* like when the Watchtower said Armageddon was coming in 1914, soon like when they said it was coming in 1915, 1918, 1925, World War II is Armageddon, 1975? You see, I get confused by the word "soon" the way JW leaders use it. I guess "soon" could mean 100 years since the Watchtower has been saying "soon" for longer than that.
  Is that what you mean by "soon"? I just want to be *cough* clear on what you mean by "soon"."

  Then read them the Websters' definition of the word "soon."

  Heh, heh.