Posts by Oroborus21

27

Should I mention my marital rape to my 18-yr-old son?

by J-ex-W in

first---thank you, lady lee, for providing the articles on rape.

the one on marital rape is especially catching my eye now.

now, the question, and i welcome any serious answers: my boys are all seriously alienated from me by my abusive jw ex-husband, who has physical custody (because of my physical health limitations).

Oroborus21

Nothing good would come of it and it wouldn't produce any results that you might hope that it would.

Your ex's character will eventually be discerned by your sons as well as your true character. It may take some time but you will likely have a chance to have the relationship that you want.

Also, because big changes will be occurring with the Organization/JW religion over the next few decades, while things may look bleak now, the chances are that they won't grow up to be like their father in the way you fear due to these external factors.

Finally, most children desire to hold their parents in the best light. It is never a good thing to either bad-mouth the other parent (even when true) or to use the child, even in a passive way, as an act of aggression or in a manipulative way. Your bringing up the marital rape or any kind of negative facts about your ex, will be seen by your sons as an attempt to manipulate them into loving you and not loving him, and they will resent that. Additionally, making them uncomfortable over your relationship with your ex will only reinforce a desire not to be around you which is certainly not what you want.

You want to make spending every minute of time with you a joy and something that they crave so if you do have the opportunity or whatever contact you do have always keep that in mind and do everything in your power to create that feeling.

So just continue to express love and let things develop.

Regarding the legal situation, keep checking around to see what resources may be available to you. The main thing is that you can go back to court to have the custody reevaluated if there is a signficant change in either your or his circumstances, so if your health does improve or something occurs to make it possible for you to have more custody, you may be able to get the present order adjusted.

good luck,

Eduardo

79

In Memorandum

by RichieRich in

jw
friends

it was the 14th of april last year that i had to sit my mother down and tell her i was an apostate.. i was closer to her than anyone else.

my father and mother are still married, but he let her raise me as a witness, and that meant it was me and mom.. me and mom in field service for 100 hours in july because she had to make her time as a regular pioneer.. me and mom fighting over what to bring for lunch to the district convention.. me and mom up late at night, when she would berate me, and then unload all her problems on to me.. me and mom and our 4 hour family studies, where we discuss 2 paragraphs of a random book, and then she would browbeat me until early in the morning.. somehow, through all that, i pretended to be a witness for years, just to appease her.

looking back, i don't know if i loved her, or if i was just afraid of her.

Oroborus21

hang in there Dude! Looks like you are on the path to healing...

-E

ps: do you mean "In Memoriam"?

16

Since Brothers should never sue...

by AuldSoul in

what would happen if a congregation or two decided not to pay back their kingdom hall loans?

Oroborus21

If a congregation refused to repay KH loans, I think the Society would consider it a Bonham-TX-style rebellion and DF some or all of the elder body (and whoever else) and then the replacements (probably from outside) would straighten it out.

It would be more interesting though if it wasn't the elder body that refused to pay the loans but the congregation, ala, the "vote" that occurs with such matters. Just once it would be great to see the congregation not go along with a "motion" put forward by the elders.

The one and only time I ever saw any significant dissent was a vote over spending money for a computer for the congregation's use. The congregation was split half & half, with those who knew they would never use the thing voting "no." The motion passed but what was funny is that the computer never appeared. A year or two afterwards I asked an Elder about where the computer was or what happened to that matter and he had forgotten about it but also wondered "What did ever become of that?"

-eduardo

30

The Sorrow and the Pity of the Watchtower: denial of DUE PROCESS

by Terry in

nounthe state, action, or principle of treating all persons equally in accordance with the law.

fairness is something familiar to even the smallest child.

being treated without bias is a hunger humanity has fought for in every society; some less successfully than in present day.. in america we are guaranteed fairness when dealing with the state or federal government due to the imbalance of relative power between the individual and the state.

Oroborus21

Terry,

your underlying points and criticisms are valid but your comparison to the "right of due process" is inherently flawed. Much like the right of free speech, the rights regarding due process are applicable to the State's (that is the Government's) treatment of private individuals.

Private individuals, which the WTBTS (and all other similar corporations) is deemed to be, may deny such rights and freedoms. That is the perogative of a private individual.

-Eduardo

3

What do you think about the new "Knocking" video?

by cyberguy in

what do you think about the new "knocking" video?

it is supposed to be shown on pbs in may.. http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=knockingdocumentary.

Oroborus21

I think it is ok, rather average. None of the stories are particularly compelling.

My first impression was that the film would only really be appealing to JW folk. My comments to the forum regarding the film were posted here:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/124447/1.ashx

But then I showed it to this Indian friend of mine who had no background or knowlege regarding JWs and she said she actually found it interesting so I thought that was surprising.

Her reaction led me to think that maybe it was precisely because I had a background being a JW and because I am aware of all of the deeper and more controversial issues and problems facing the Organization, that led me to be alternately bored or turned off by the tone and focus of the film and what I perceived to be its lack of substance.

So what I thought at first to be a disappointing and meaningless exercise on the part of the filmmakers might actually be a case where they succeeded in their goals, if their goal was to create a film that shed light upon JWs for non-JWs and those without any real knowledge of JWs.

In retrospect this does seem to be their goal, so I suppose it is a success in that way.

-Eduardo

5

looking for Farkel

by desertflower in

jw
friends

does anyone know where farkel is?

would like his e-mail address please.. desertflower.

Oroborus21

I have Doug's number around somewhere. pm me with who you are and why you want to contact him. or more likely he will see this and pm you when he stops by...

43

That's it, we've had ENOUGH and we are MOVING!

by Schism in

jw
friends

i know this question has been asked before, but i can't find the old post about this.

i am looking for another area of the us to move to.

edit: please be aware, i am ranting right now, but nothing here is exaggerated.

Oroborus21

Three words:

Land of Enchantment

Santa Fe would probably suit your fancy..

64

OK

by Andy C in

jw
friends

you believe in god or not?

why?

Oroborus21

Sex is so pleasurable that only a supreme being could have done that.

Amen.

But then man created religion thus leading to a dozen ways to frack up the above observation.

-Eduardo

21

Knorr Was He Married? Any Info?

by uwishufish in

jw
friends

i was under the impression that he was married to a fairly attractive woman who was his younger by about 20+ years.

i heard this from an ex-bethelite.

just wondered if it was true?

Oroborus21

He was married to a secretary at Bethel (i think). His getting married was a big factor in the old policy at Bethel being changed. Previously, with a few notable exceptions, if a person got married they had to leave Bethel service.

27

JWD outage -- what if it were longer or worse, permanent?

by Fatfreek in

jwd to me, and for some like me, is my morning coffee.

if its not up, like earlier today, it gets me to thinking, what if this were a permanent thing?

what if jwd were actually shut down like our friend quotes site in 2006?

Oroborus21

Fats,

its essentially happened before...

first there were friends with the ol dial in electronic bulletin boards..and usenet groups....those folks moved on to forums....then came Rick's H20 (essentially the "IT" board on the Net for JW-focused discussion) from circa 1992-1998?). That site changed servers and went down for a period of time. (It was reborn but it has never been the same.) A flock of the old H20 forum participants came to JWD.

Today, there are at least a dozen JW related boards if not more. If JWD did go down permanently (probably because Simon decided to finally pull the plug and relax) we would all just migrate to another one now existing or a new forum would be created. The need for a JW related board will continue for the forseeable future or Armageddon, which ever comes first. and only some other mode of communication or technology would supplant such a need.

-eduardo