TR,
No.... that's not me. I know my mom had a picture our two somewhere of my sister and I - I'll let you know if I find any. Aren't you glad you didn't get dunked in the metal cattle trough they used to use??
Monica
Monica
JoinedPosts by Monica
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11
TR's Baptism Pic
by TR ini'm the one with the glazed look and the hairy chest.. check out the dude in front of me.
looks rather dubious, don't he?.
anyone on this board in there?.
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TR's Baptism Pic
by TR ini'm the one with the glazed look and the hairy chest.. check out the dude in front of me.
looks rather dubious, don't he?.
anyone on this board in there?.
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Monica
TR!!
That is great! **whistle!**
Anyone on this board in there?
Can't say anyone there resembles how I looked at 15! Do you have anymore?? I am going to have to see if I can find some too!
(btw - It's been fun hearing details that I just failed to remember!!)
Monica
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71
When and where baptized
by drahcir yarrum ini thought it might be interesting to see how many here remember where and when they were baptised into the borg.
for some the memory may be too painful, but i'm curious.. me.
it was 1966 in vancouver, bc.
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Monica
(((((TR!!))))))
Ditto!! My sister and I were 'dunked' the same day, same year, same pool!! What a small world! I was 15 and she was 13.
Isn't it great to know that three people who were baptized the same day/same place somehow managed to escape?! (woohoo!!)
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94
Meet Silentlambs In Person!
by silentlambs ini am going to be at a trial in ritzville, washington.
the town is about an hour southwest from spokane, wa.
i will be there on august 14th, which will be on a tuesday.
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Monica
Tele,
Regarding compassion, today is the 1st day I've seen you make any compassionate statements towards Erica. At least my compassion was first and foremost to the victim rather than the wife of a perpetrator.
I still stand by what I said, I would be ashamed to sit on the side of the perpetrator even if I was there supporting a friend. Shunning has nothing to do with it.
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94
Meet Silentlambs In Person!
by silentlambs ini am going to be at a trial in ritzville, washington.
the town is about an hour southwest from spokane, wa.
i will be there on august 14th, which will be on a tuesday.
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Monica
Tele,
How's everyone doing today? I was just reading Tele's and SL's discussion and I hope no one minds my jumping in to just say a couple of things.
Tele said:
funny.........were you there at the trial to hear the death threats? or were you there at the meeting to hear the heros welcome and crys and hugs....that is straight out bullshit...
Then SL stated,Yes, I heard the recorded tapes of the event. Did you?
I say, Silentlambs owes no one anything by putting them on the net. If anyone is so interested in proving Silentlambs wrong, then why don't they do their own research, get the tapes and post them on the net. SL stated what HE personally got from the tapes and he did his own research. They were obviously pretty intense tapes for him to travel across the country to witness this trial first-hand. And, if what he is saying is true about the tapes, then maybe Tele's sources regarding this event aren't very reliable.Tele, you also said:
i could give initials of the other victims who refused to testify
What exactly do you mean by "victims"? I'm very curious. You then stated this about the "victims":The other "two children" were not children as you said. The were both married and over 25,
"Victims" over 25. I am just wondering, just what did this guy do to two women over 25 to make them victims? You stated they were victims.It seems to me that Erica feels as though the molester has received more "Christian love" than she has, which to me is indicative by all the support HE received at the courthouse and by the names she was called. Which side did they sit on?? There were two sides to choose from. The excuse that they were there for the wife, to me is just absurd! The wife was not on trial - her husband was. I would have felt ashamed sitting on the side of a molester. But that's just me.
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The C.O. and elder came to my house last night!
by Sarah inplease tell me i made the right decision.
last night the co and another elder showed up at our house just 5 minutes after my husband got home from work (i think they were sitting on the side of the road just waiting for him to come home)*stalkers*, anyway to make along story short, the pressure was on.
i felt like they were there to get us to da ourselves.
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Monica
Sarah,
I will try to keep it short and simple too. I just want you to know that my heart sunk reading your story and I still have a lump in my throat. They are heartless SOBs who care not about the pain they cause. I agree with the others about printing up the articles on the JW site about how it doesn't sever ties for your family members. My thoughts are with you and your husband. The elders have not proved you 'weak', but rather the exact opposite! You two are very strong and courageous for not backing down to them! Hang in there!
One thing that helps me when I'm stressed is to light some candles, lower the lights and play some soft mellow music while enjoying a nice glass of wine (doing this in a nice warm soap-filled tub is even better). Close your eyes and take some deep breaths and throw out of your mind all your stresses. You have a right and power to chose your own thoughts.
Peace and comfort to you,
Monica -
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Domestic Violence?
by alamb inhas anyone ever addressed the incidence of domestic violence in witness families?
i am relatively new here and don't want to cover old ground.. thinking back, i can name multiple examples of households in each congregation i attended where domestic violence was evident.. i have an active protective order against my ex.
who is still active in the congregation he attends.
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Monica
((((((Wendy))))))))
So, from what I gather, you are in an abusive relationship right now and your finances are such that you feel you can't leave? That's really sad! It sounds like you are familiar with the safe-houses. Have they been able to offer you assistance on how to make it on your own? How long have you been with this guy? What about family? Is there anyone you can turn to for temporary help until you can be stabilized financially?
I hope and pray that you get out of that situation and fast! What helped my mom get away (she's left him two times and finally left for good about 3 yrs ago), we got her to move out and told her to just view it as temporary and the longer she was away, the easier it got.
BTW, you are not the only one! My sister has a difficult time finding men who treat her right. I kind of tell her the same advice when she is trying to break away - that it takes time to get over someone, but you can do it. Love is strange. You can't just wake up one day and say, I don't love you anymore. It takes time for the love to fade. Each day and week away from an abusive guy is progress. I understand it is hard, but you can do it!
I am glad you are in contact with the safe-houses. If you ever need someone to talk to, please feel free to email me.
Billygoat,
It saddens me to know my story is much like yours. I hate to hear that others here have gone through that and again, I am just so shocked at all these similar feelings, emotions and experiences. I've never really talked to anyone else about this, except my family or to others who have never experienced anything like it.
Regarding "rejoicing" and you feeling it's sinful. Don't feel bad, my sin is worse -- I think these guys should be taken out and beat to a pulp for abusing women and children like that. Did you ever see the Godfather when the brother beat up his bro-inlaw? I have to say, I was thinking, "if only someone did that for us".
I just think some people don't understand that this abuse isn't just a one-time or two-time thing, but it is something that continues and continues year after year and the longer the victims are in that kind of environment, the more damage that is done. The elders don't understand that once it is known to them that by this time, these victims are feeling like they are in a desperate situation and need assistance. Their lack of training, to me, is no excuse; however, I blame it on the borg because they are the ones that tell the elders how to handle these situations. They know the damage they are causing - yet they do nothing! Your dad, my dad and the borg leaders on judgement day - I do not envy them.
Thank you for sharing your experience too. I am glad you found someone who loves you like you should be loved!
Monica
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Domestic Violence?
by alamb inhas anyone ever addressed the incidence of domestic violence in witness families?
i am relatively new here and don't want to cover old ground.. thinking back, i can name multiple examples of households in each congregation i attended where domestic violence was evident.. i have an active protective order against my ex.
who is still active in the congregation he attends.
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Monica
Dan!
Wow! It is so strange hearing (or watching) someone write my almost exact feelings and almost exact experiences!!
I totally agree regarding the emotional abuse. Just hit me smack square in the nose and get it over with!!
Control -- yep know all about it! He would actually blame us for never being appointed as an elder. Lecture, after lecture on how we were bringing him down and how we needed to do more so that he could be appointed elder. It was all about control - he wanted to be in control of everything!
We all left the JWs in 1988 and he changed a lot after it; however, I maintained a very distant relationship with him until my mom left him a few years back and as of this year, we pretty much don't speak to each other and I'm hoping to slowly cut off the relationship entirely. He still tries to control with his little mind games, but it just doesn't work like it used to. I'm pretty much through with him. He just doesn't get it and will never change. I do not want my kids around him.
It's strange how the abuse has affected us kids. Luckily, the years of counseling I received has helped me to learn ways to effectively get across a point. Control has been a real issue for me. Not that I want to control everyone, it's just that I stress soooo much about things I cannot control and it just drives me nuts!!
I could tell story after story of the stuff my dad would do to us, but I still get emotional just talking about it. I cannot believe the similarities between our stories though!
Sleep deprivation -- I was going to say something about that in my last post. He would go nuts if any of us kids took a nap during the day!! We were called lazy, good for nothing...blah-dee-blah-blah-blah!
I remember telling my mom, I'd rather live on the street than live there!
My dad actually had his own business and would make us kids work for him WITHOUT PAY! We would all have to work at least 10-15 hours a week. That combined with all the JW stuff was just sheer torture for us! Imagine working for your dad!! Not very fun!
Scared to be alone with him -- I used to plan an escape route sometimes. I swear one night I thought I was going to have to jump from our 2nd story window -- really, really sad!!
There is still a hole on my bedroom door at the house from one night him kicking it in. I just don't even really rememer why we got in trouble. It was just stupid stuff. Heck, he'd throw fits for using his toothepaste or my sister grabbing one of his razors to shave her legs.
Why? I have no idea. What is so terribly wrong to make someone do that? I remember at 19, he threw a fit because I wasn't pioneering and ran at me with a metal cabinet shelf (he had an auto parts business and had these metal cabinets with flimsy metal shelves). By then, I'd had enough and yelled at him to do it, to JUST DO IT!!! That he couldn't hurt me more than he already had and I said a lot of stuff to him that day about what I thought of him. But it went right over his head. He apologized months later for that incident and asked me if I wanted to apologize! For what?? Being honest?
One night, my mom told us to be prepared, that we were going to have to leave. So I went to bed with my shoes on and made my sister do the same. As we were leaving in the middle of the night, he was sitting at the dining room table cleaning his guns. I cannot tell you the terror and horror he put us through. If my mom didn't have enough money for a hotel, we sometimes spent the night in the car. (spokane is quite chilly in the winter!)
My dad, like yours, physically abused my mom and emotionally abused us all. My dad would push my mom down stairs, etc. -- stuff too emotional for me to talk about. I hate that part of my life! I am glad I never have to be under his control ever again. I'm glad I never have to look at another one of the elders again who would tell us ways to not provoke my father.
Billygoat,
The screaming -- My heart races today if I imagine hearing his screaming voice. Back then, it would send me into shear panic.I just want to say, that I am sooooooo sorry for everyone's experiences here!!! I know what it was like and it breaks my heart that these creeps can and do get away with it!! What wimps that they have to pick on women and children.
Waiting,
Thank you for your kind comments. I am so lucky in that I took my experiences and managed to find a guy who would never do these things. I know his stomach turns to hear my stories. He is so wonderful to me and he understands and is so patient with me. -
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Domestic Violence?
by alamb inhas anyone ever addressed the incidence of domestic violence in witness families?
i am relatively new here and don't want to cover old ground.. thinking back, i can name multiple examples of households in each congregation i attended where domestic violence was evident.. i have an active protective order against my ex.
who is still active in the congregation he attends.
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Monica
Dan,
Are you my brother??? Your family life sounds like it was just like ours. The late night raids -- catching you off guard.
I had two older brothers, and like your family, one protected my mom and the other protected my dad (until they had a falling out).
A big thing with the elders was that my dad never actually "hit" her with his fist. The things my dad did were much worse though.
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My Eldest
by TR inthis is my eldest daughter, angie.
she's 17, will be a senior in high school this fall, but is in college.
she's an honor student.
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Monica
Beautiful!!! You must be so proud! (I can sure see a resemblence between the two of you.)
Where's the rest of the fam??