Thank you for all the good suggestions.
She is a very smart girl, with a high IQ, but was labeled dumb, by
her teachers in elementary school, who hadn't heard of dyslexia, I think. By the time she reached middle school, the family had moved to
a big city, and she was found to be very bright, but had spent her early years being ridiculed by everyone. She literally has no friends. It's a good thing she has three sisters, and a future sister in law, or she wouldn't have any bridesmaids either.
Anyway, I think some of you have hit the nail on the head about her lack of self esteem. I will try to work on my attitude towards her.
Her parents love her very much, but they know she is a bit hard to take too, and have said a couple of things to me, about giving her time.
An example of one of her annoying habits: I am in the kitchen cooking, and she comes in and asks how I am, for the 10th time today. I look at her and I say "still fine". She asked me that 5 minutes before. When I walked into the room where she was, she asked me again. I ignored her. So she followed me into my computer room, and read my email over my shoulder, commenting on things written to me. I was worried she would do that today while I was reading these posts.
Anyway, Jan and roamingfeline, Lindy, joel, Zazu, all made really good suggestions. Venice, I forgot your Mom had it too. She is NOT like that. And as for her illness, when we were in the emergency room, she was telling the nurse how to insert the IV. I wanted to scream at her to shut up!! The nurse said "excuse me?" I started laughing, it was so funny. And I said, "ignore her, she tells everyone how to do their jobs." But, the RN didn't think it was funny.
I am going to work on building her self esteem, if I can stand it.
Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)