Posts by Mum

79

Complaints About My False Eyelashes at the Hall. WEARING THEM EVEN BIGGER TONIGHT.

by OneStepOut93 in

okay so i like dramatic lashes.

and my grandma told me all the women are complaining about them being a distraction.

well all i have to say to them is "kiss my ass".

Mum

This post reminds me of a couple of things.

The first one is that I once posted (not sure if it was on this board) about the folderal about clothing at the KH. I got an e-mail from an active JW lurker who told me a funny story about a young woman in her congregation who was constantly being "counseled" (i.e., harassed) by elders about what she was wearing.

One Sunday she appeared at the KH dressed to shock. She marched right up to the podium and started yelling about the treatment she was getting, and making quite a scene. The e-mailer told me that she was sure the people in the neighborhood around the hall could hear her as well. I would have made a "donation" to see that!

The other thing it reminds me of is a quotation from Dolly Parton. She said something like (and I paraphrase): "When I was growing up, there were certain women in my town who wore their skirts too high, their blouses too low, dyed their hair and wore a lot of makeup. Everybody called them 'trash.' I knew from the very beginning that when I grew up, what I wanted to be was trash.

We all have our own way of expressing ourselves. I've noticed that a lot of the criticism comes from those who are not attractive enough to look good by enhancing themselves.

Let us know what happens. Be sure those eyelashes are well anchored.

Regards,

SandraC

15

Practical Problems Arising From Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses - not on jw.org

by InterestedOne in

what practical problems arise from leaving jehovah's witnesses?

this question was inspired by a poster whose jw friend refused to be a reference for an apartment.

i wonder if most jw's know deep down that they need to maintain some ties with non-jw's in case they find themselves either deciding to leave or ostracized for some reason..

Mum

The key is to prepare before exiting. Make some worldly friends. Establish some contacts to help you get a job. At the very least, register with a temp agency, as temporary jobs often can lead to full-time employment.

If there are unbelieving relatives or friends from high school who will take you in until you get established, ask them for help. They may be delighted to help you exit the cult. It helped me to move to the other end of the country, where I had a cousin, and where jobs were plentiful at that time.

Best wishes to your friend. and to all struggling with becoming free,

SandraC

28

Personal Updates

by Hortensia in

i am not particularly interested in the wtbts and their current doings.

or doctrine, or debates about god/evolution.

i am more interested in people, especially ex-jws like me.

Mum

Hi, Hortensia. I love to talk about myself, so here goes:

I have not posted here for about three years, but recently started again. Since 2008, I have been in deep financial "doo-doo." I had purchased a condo in a place where property values skyrocketed. It had tripled in value. Then it started just as rapid a decline in value. I had to do a short sale, and am grateful it was not a foreclosure. I had gone into debt $8,000 to save my daughter's and son-in-law's home (which they eventually lost anyway).

In addition, I was $40,000.00 in debt to get my granddaughter straightened out at the Sunhawk Academy in Utah. She ran away from home with a horrible guy when she was about 16, and, besides that, I hade paid a private detective $3,500.00 (on my credit card) to find her.

So, I had about $12,000.00 + in credit card debt.

So, I have not had internet access, cable, or other luxuries again until recently.

I retired in 2007, so I had no income. I had been working steadily for a temp agency, but in mid-2008, that dried up, too. I was depressed and feeling hopeless, to say the least. Friends fed me and talked sense to me. I was terrified of the future, and saw no way out.

Then I got 9+ months' work at the Census Bureau. I made 100% on the test. Almost everyone who had a job at my Census office had made 100% or better (i.e., those with Veterans' preference) on the test. I paid my credit card debt down significantly, to about $2,500.00. I went back to getting a little bit of temp work. I also got a part-time job as an usher at the new ball park in town.

Then a friend helped me get a job in an attorney's office.

I now owe "only" about $27,000.00 on the student loan for my granddaughter. My credit card debt is paid off. I have a new card with a $300.00 limit for emergencies.

A few months ago, I left my job at the attorney's office and moved to Las Vegas. I am living with my daughter and son-in-law. This is the only way I can get paid back the money they owe me for bailing them out on their house and for borrowing to help my granddaughter.

I am studying machine shorthand, in hopes of becoming a court reporter so that I can have a high income for whatever time I have left. I did some internet research, and learned that only about three people a year pass the licensing test for court reporter in Nevada. They can't "afford" age discrimination. I don't know if you realize it, but the people who do the closed captioning for television and movies are court reporters. It's a lucrative field because very few people have the patience and/or skill to get good at it. Learning the theory is easy; getting up to 240 words per minute is where the challenge comes in, but I'm working on it every day.

I am grateful for the chance to rebuild my life, and very grateful that I was not reduced to filing bankruptcy.

I'm looking forward to meeting some of you, hopefully many of you, at the Apostafest in Vegas in May.

My efforts at present are concentrated in trying to pay off my remaining debt, becoming a good court reporter, and living in "fabulous Las Vegas!"

I'm happy for you and the opportunities you've had to travel. I love to travel, but haven't been able to for a while.

Regards,

SandraC

234

Suicide - How many do you know within the JWs

by Lady Lee in

thw wts likes to play games with their statistics.

one interesting but truly tragic is the number of jwhovah's witnesses who commit suicie.. now i suspect that if a person commits suicide shortly before or after they are disfellowshipped then the elders would say that person wasn't a witness or that they had done something so terrible that they were too guilty to admit it and by their action of committing suicide they pretty much declared they were no longer a jw.. yup fancy talk to make sure any crap didn't fall on them.. so my question.. do you know of cases like this?

if so then can you answer a few more questions.. had this person been dfed or in real danger of being dfed or whatever the equivalent is if they were never baptized?.

Mum

I just remembered a third case:

Several years ago, I attended a meeting for ex-JW's in Oregon. I met a beautiful young woman and her mother whose brother/son had committed suicide after the elders found out he was having an affair with a sister in the congregation. The elders dealt with the woman first. Then one of the elders walked over to the young man and said something like, "The elders will deal with you tomorrow." The young man went home and drank poison (insecticide or herbicide, I'm not sure which). It's sad that it took this unthinkable tragedy to wake up his family.

Regards,

SandraC

234

Suicide - How many do you know within the JWs

by Lady Lee in

thw wts likes to play games with their statistics.

one interesting but truly tragic is the number of jwhovah's witnesses who commit suicie.. now i suspect that if a person commits suicide shortly before or after they are disfellowshipped then the elders would say that person wasn't a witness or that they had done something so terrible that they were too guilty to admit it and by their action of committing suicide they pretty much declared they were no longer a jw.. yup fancy talk to make sure any crap didn't fall on them.. so my question.. do you know of cases like this?

if so then can you answer a few more questions.. had this person been dfed or in real danger of being dfed or whatever the equivalent is if they were never baptized?.

Mum

I know of some specific cases of suicide.

1. The first happened shortly after I left the JW's. A young mother of two in my former congregation committed suicide. I think her young JW husband loved her, and I don't believe she was being abused. She might have had post-partum depression after having two babies in quick succession. She tried to get help from "worldly" sources, but was forbidden and/or ostracized for it. I don't know many details.

2. The secons happened a couple of years ago in the town where I was born. A young woman, probably at least 3rd-generation, daughter of an elder, committed suicide after having a troubled and rebellious adolescence and young adulthood. I believe her parents did their best, but her dad could be severe and unfair. A relative of mine who lived in their town told me they had observed the young girl doing things forbidden by the Watchtower Company, and tried to warn the parents that the girl likely was headed for trouble. The parents apparently appeared not to believe what they were being told.

This young woman's brother had been disfellowshipped at some point, and my relative told me the parents cried loudly and profusely as the announcement was being made. I also know that, at one point, the mother of these troubled children left the father for a time because of his cruelty to her. Her leaving apparently woke him up because they got back together and stayed together. I don't know how he treated the children. I'm not trying to blame anyone, as I know it had to be beyond heartbreaking for these parents to lose their daughter in such a tragic way. I think there are 'way too many parents who do not realize how much their children are hurt and emotionally scarred because of their well-meaning modes of "discipline."

Regards,

SandraC

9

Where is this LOVE that is being "preached about"??

by lostinnj83 in

the only display of love that i have experienced is from non-jw's!!!!!

the people we have been warned so much to stay away from them are the only ones that have been supportive and loving towards me in my darkest moments.. .

what really gets me is how they can bring themselves to show "love" to someone who has committed heinous crimes like molesting children but will be downright hateful to people who have become better and happier people since they have left the organization!!!.

Mum

As a teenage JW, I actually believed in that "love." That "love" was very conditional, however. At some point, I realized that I was not a better person after becoming a JW, but that I had been a better person before I became a JW. I had been a person who cared about others without all of the judgmental criteria laid on by the borg.

Regards,

SandraC

77

What are you reading?

by Berengaria in

jw
friends

what is on your "to read" list in the immediate future?.

Mum

Flipper and others interested in Native American history:

One of the best books I ever read was for a college course entitled "Introduction to the Study of Religion." The book's title is Black Elk Speaks. The book was narrated to John Neihardt and his daughter. The daughter took the narrative down in shorthand and transcribed it. It is told in Black Elk's own words and the words of some of his friends. Black Elk was a Lakota Sioux on the Pine Ridge reservation in South Dakota. He participated in the Battle of Little Big Horn. As a child, he went into a high fever, and, when he woke up, he was somehow endowed with mental and spiritual powers beyond what most humans have. For example, he and his father went on a hunting trip when he was a teenager. While sleeping, he heard a fox (or dreamed of it?) telling him where he could find a lot of buffalo. He told his father, who was skeptical, but still went along with him. They killed enough buffalo to feed the whole tribe for the whole winter. He had visions showing him that the white people would leave, but he admitted at the end of his life that he was disappointed that these visions did not come to fruition. There are other books about Black Elk as well. I came to wish I had known him personally and to have a great admiration for him. He was uneducated and illiterate, but still wise and fascinating.

Regards,

SandraC

6

birthdays and baby showers

by wizardca in

my dad is turning a milestone number this month and decided he needed to celebrate a bit so the wife and i are putting together a birthday party for him.

two of my siblings are jws and 1 is not; nor is dad.

invited everyone to the celebration and of course got the "we don't celebrate birthdays" rsvp.

Mum

When I was a JW, I remember my mom pointing out to me the inconsistencies in JW behavior about birthdays and holidays and having showers for sisters. She also pointed out that this was an organization in which no one was supposed to be above anyone else, but that everybody went into slave mode for the Circuit Overseer, District Overseer, and other hierarchical VIP's.

Ironically, after I had "apostasized" myself for a few years, my mom became a JW. She was smart enough to wait untill she was too ill for field service. She was such a good self promoter that the JW's visited her regularly, sent her flowers, brought her food, and even took turns caring for her when necessary. She was as servile as anyone with the CO and the DO, too.

I will give my mom credit for one thing: she did not shun me. She did not live in the area where I lived when I was a JW, so she did not inform her JW friends of my "apostate" status. She didn't even like me, rarely gave me any positive feedback or approval, and had very little good to say to me, so it means a lot that she did the right thing after she got old and helpless.

Regards,

SandraC

76

Whacky comments! What the craziest comment you've ever heard?

by toweragent in

jw
friends

last week a sister in my new hall made the following comment,.

"a brother once told me that it is better to be wrong with the organization, than to be right and be on your own without the organization.".

wow.

Mum

I remember a public talk by an elder who did not understand the meaning of status quo. He thought it was, specifically, the ancient Roman "establishment" He called it "Status Q." Throughout the entire talk he kept referring to "this status Q" as if it applied to a specific way of doing things at a specific place at a specific period of history.

I was embarrassed for him, but I don't know if anyone else even noticed. I did not dare explain to anyone the real meaning, or even the pronunciation, of status quo.

Regards,

SandraC

147

Psychoanalyzing the Governing Body as a Collective Body by what they cause to be written in literature and private letters:

by frankiespeakin in

now would any "psychologist" on the board and i use the term loosely as i am not one professionally , and have a very rudimentary hazy knowledge of analysis.. but one of the things jung had to do with the subject is the shadow to be properly analyzed one needs to recognize the shadow we all have we all have one.

and what happens when we repress a lot of things and stuff them into ones personal shadow, they get stronger and cause projection on the outside world that make one respond certain ways that might be termed as phobias or neurosis and even psychosis.. im sure we can spot a lot of denial and repression surfacing in what they cause to be published either publicly and in private correspondence.

perhaps even some phobias or out right neurosis.. i bett you a really skilled psychologist could have a fruit picking holiday with the stuff they find on the net already published far and wide for all to see.

Mum

I was going to bring up narcissistic personality disorder, but that's already been done. So I'm going to address characteristics of "control freaks."

Control freaks, at bottom, are empty vessels, blank slates or whatever metaphor you use to describe someone who has nothing of substance to contribute to the world. So, they use others to bring glory to themselves. Parents who are control freaks demand perfection from their children to bring attention and "glory" to themselves by association. Cult leaders can do the same thing by constantly asking their members if they could do more, trying to set up situations (e.g., assemblies) to make their followers look superior. You get the idea.

A high control group must be run by control freaks.

Regards,

SandraC