Surely everyone who has been a JW suffers from guilt of some kind for neglecting family or others we would have liked to spend more time with. You did well, dozy, better than most JW's IMHO.
Posts by Mum
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16The Story of Joe
by dozy inwhen i was a young pioneer , over the years i had built up a route call and every wednesday afternoon myself and a couple of the other pioneers would walk ( or if adverse weather , drive ) around the streets of our town and the surrounding villages distributing the magazines.
most houses were empty , which didnt really matter - it was a pleasant diversion from what was generally quite a harsh unfruitful territory to work.
we would talk about the things young ones talk about girls , football , tv and , er , girls chewing the fat over the latest gossip.. in our congregation , joe , a retired brother in his 70s lived with his non-jw worldly ( but very pleasant and hospitable ) wife , jean.
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69
What would it take for YOU to come back?
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Mum
What rip van winkle said, and a few more items, such as:
full equality for women, respect and care for children, free housing, free food, freedom, of thought, acceptance of human differences.
As others have pointed out, you have been brainwashed. I have seen TV documentaries about former cult members who have been deprogrammed, and they admit that they know it was wrong but still feel drawn back to it at tiumes.
Hang in there. Get counseling and any other help you need to get over it. Make a list of "reasons" why you think you might want to go back. If I made such a list, it would be blank.
Best wishes on your journey to total freedom.
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Email from my JW brother
by nicsfreedom ini will not get into details as far as defending my position, just know that when reviewing his letter he does not have all the facts.
which now, i plan to go thru, if he is willing.
i started a letter to him and then i decided to call because i do not want the aftermath of everything being in writing.
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Mum
It's usually best not to be on the defensive. That gives the other party the advantage. You may need to let your brother go for a while, and he wants to talk, let him come to you. You do not owe him an explanation for anything. From the sound of it, he may be accusing you of things just to put you on the defensive (the stuff about trying to get the girls to feel sorry for you). If you want pity, you're not ready for life in the real world. If he accuses you of seeking pity, he is not answering your concerns, but creating a strawman.
Proceed with caution.
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Advice on being an enabler to my unbaptized JW son
by marriedtoajw inok i feel almost embarrassed coming to this board and asking advice about something that my common sence has already answered for me, but i hesitate because of possible fall out unique to jw issues.
most of my posts on this board lately have been about my 21 year old son's involvment with the jw's encouraged by jw mom, both knowing i'm against what they teach.
i've gotten some good advice on this board by some of you who answered a previous post of mine related to my concern of me being an enabler to my 21 year old son.
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Mum
You need to give your son some motivation to finish school and to learn some job skills, and, ultimately, earn his own way. You will not accomplish this by not requiring something of him. I would tell him there will be no more money unless he re-enrolls in school or takes GED classes and either graduates or gets his GED, and then he has to get a job, even if it's working at a fast food restaurant, as a janitor, or whatever he can get. Then he might be motivated to get more education so he can get a better job.
If you want to continue giving him money, make him work for you and earn it first. This kid needs to face reality, the sooner the better.
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Mum
Now that's what stadiums were built for!
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Religion ... making the uneducated respected, daily!
by free2beme ini have a brother in law who is by all means a loser.
has three children, all of which are neglected on levels that would shock most people.
they live in tents, are fed from food shelters and each one has been held back at least two years.
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Mum
While I agree that education is wonderful and should be accessible to all, I must say, from my own experience, that there are good, sensible, uneducated people whose advice I would take over that of some "educated" people. Some simple people have great honesty and integrity (I recommend the movie Sergeant York as an example), while some "educated" people are unethical, uncaring low lifes.
As one of my philosophy professors once said, An education doesn't "take" on everybody.
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The only thing a JW needs to know to be set free from their religion
by yadda yadda 2 inbillions of human beings right now are muslims, hindus, buddhists, etc, etc.
they do not know a jot about 'jehovah' or the 'watchtower bible & tract society of new york" etc etc.
what is going to happen to these billions of persons at armageddon?.
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Mum
I disagree. The brainwashing is too well done. In general, JW's can turn off feelings as well as logic better than anyone else.
Once I asked a Baptist minister a similar question. His response was that he could not be concerned about all the souls who are "lost."
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35
Does being a "born in" blur parental vs JW issues?
by obfuscatetheobvious inthank you to the many people who have posted their experiences and advice on this site!
i have browsed a few topics but the threads that i seem to gravitate to the most deal with family.
there is certainly a lot that i can relate to in many of the anecdotes i have read.
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Mum
Many parents only "teach" (and I use that term loosely) their children to obey. The kids do not learn right from wrong, or anything about building character or ethical living. I was a JW parent, which I now regret. However, my daughter associated the Kingdom Hall with being imprisoned, so she never wanted to go, and would feign illness to get out of it.
My own parents were not JW's, but my dad was narcissistic, and my mom was histrionic. We were "taught" to obey and not to do anything irritating or annoying to Mom and Dad. I think I was in my 40's before I understood that I needed to know right from wrong, not just obey those with authority over me.
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Husband has joined me in being inactive.
by Julia Orwell inthat's right, and it's great!
i don't know exactly why because he hasn't turned apostate and still seems to believe jw things.
i don't feel comfortable in asking him why he doesn't go to meetings anymore for some reason, or find out what he believes and if the things i've told him bout ttatt influenced his decision.
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Mum
Congratulations, Julia! I don't know about others, but I believe it takes about two years to clear all of the brainwashing and accept reality.
It sounds as though you're doing the right things the right way.
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Has your contributions on JWN given you something meaningful to do?
by His Excellency indo you think that jwn is giviing some kind of meaning to your life on a daily basisthrough your various contributions?.
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Mum
Having been out since 1979, it is heartwarming to see so many waking up. There are some great thinkers and very kind hearts here who keep me in line. I try to contribute what insight I am able to the ones leaving. It's great knowing I'm no the only one whose life was almost wrecked by falling for a bunch of hoo hoo.