Posts by NameWithheld

14

How Long Did the Transition Take?

by troubled in

jw
friends

i was wondering, for those of you who have left the organization, how long did the transition take?

i mean, how long after you left did you feel up in the air, in turmoil, lost, unsettled?

long long before you felt comfortable with the decision and basically happy with your life?

NameWithheld

Ditto Francoise, I was gone way before I quit attending meetings. Just didn't realize I was gone! First off I simply knew that I HATED going to meetings and field service (in fact I had always hated FS from the time I can recall since I felt hypocritical going to peoples doors and had NO desire to be there talking to them). Meetings became more and more of a chore to watch hypocritical men (whom you knew nice secrets about) proudly struting about the cong as an 'example' to the flock, giving talks, judging others, etc, etc. And they're spewing the same old crap EVERY meeting. More FS, more meetings, more donations, more more more. And the 'ignore the problems, Jah will take care of them' only goes so far in MY book. All the while they're looking down their noses at you 'cause you didn't get 10 hours last month.

Didn't help they yanked the 80 year generation out from under us - that just about nailed it in my mind. All that time growing up - "you won't graduate high school" oops, "you won't get married", etc. After hearing how your parents were feed and bought the same bunk, and they're now grandparents (Won't graduate HS, rrrrriiiight .....) and facing retirement with NO money, NO savings, NOTHING. Oh but don't worry the new system will be here before they retire ... rrrriiiiight. If not the local elders will provide for them - oh, you mean they won't? I guess it's time for gov't houseing then, 'cause Jehovah's org is too busy printing new light.

What a bunch of BS!

15

Friends - Too Little, Too Late?

by troubled in

jw
friends

i posted this onto a previous thread, but wanted to start it on a new one as well.

as jws, we lack the "social outlet" all humans need, to have true friends one can speak openly and honestly with and not be afraid of judgmentalism.

what i've seen firsthand is that the "nucleus" of the congregation often has this need filled: elders, ms's, pioneers, and their families often do things together.

NameWithheld

I always noticed that friendship in JW land was a conditional thing. In most cases, it was hard work to stay included in the 'in crowd' (there's always an 'in crowd' in each cong). And making friends would be impossible since you ALWAYS had to tread so lightly lest you offend someone (someone was ALWAYS getting offended, hurt, etc). Or people would step all over you to make themselves look better or better their position in the cong. Or take advantage of you ... it always seemed like a big game or rat race to climb all over each other. No wonder JW's are stressed out all the time! The # of people who ever really cared about me for who I was and not some other selfish reason I could count on one hand.

On the other hand, I have never in my life been exposed to as many people who are truely friendly in a non-selfish was as I am now - all 'worldy' people too . One difference seems to be is that non-JWs don't try and invade every portion of your life, they are content to simply associate and enjoy your company w/out being nosey and judgemental. And we can disagree one things, even major things and still get along. Amazing.

49

30 and Out?

by Black Man in

jw
friends

30 that seems to put jw's at a cross-roads?

i've known so many who have decided to abandon ship at either the age of 30 or either after 30 years of being baptized.

i fall into the former category.

NameWithheld

Another one out in the mid-late 20's ... never really bought into it fully (raised in the org), but went out of obligation, family, freinds, etc. Also didn't really think about leaving since it was just the way I was raised. But the whole generation thing happened and made me think about what it was I was buying into. Out I came!

37

Ugly Clothes is it a rule???

by tattoogrl333 in

jw
friends

ok last post before me and my pillow get together.

so what is the dress code of jw.

i notice a lot of long skirts, and dresses.

NameWithheld

Oh and they'll get you with the "It's not loving to the bothers for the women to dress provocativly" - because it makes the poor brothers think about SEX!! Gasp. Wouldn't want to inflame the brothers passions like that, turn them into rabid sex-hungrey dogs ... O wait, that describes all men doesn't it? What a bunch of bunk.

21

Is the GB guilty of stumbling christian? matt18:6

by Winston in

jw
friends

matthew 18: 6,7 "if anyone should cause one of these little ones to turn away from his faith in me, it would be better for that man to have a large millstone tied around his neck and be drowned in the deep sea.. how terrible for the world that there are things that make people turn away!

such things will alway happen--but how terrible for the one who causes them.".

has the governing body really been responcible for causing real genuine belevers in jesus christ to stumble the way jesus says at mathew 18?.

NameWithheld

Without Ray Franz, and other prominent apostates, who have widely advertised the Watchtower's flaws, many of this things that cause stumbling would never have become known.

Ah ha! So THAT's the problem - these things are OK to do, just don't get caught. Evil apostates catching Jah's people in mis-behavour ... how dare they!? Silly me.

21

Money $?$?$?

by tattoogrl333 in

jw
friends

just curious they seem to have an endless supply of literature but they never ask me to pay them for the books.

and i never see a collection basket being passed around.

so how do they get their money???.

NameWithheld

Actually tattogirl, it is funny, he probably had NO idea what to do - to him you were probably like Satan himself walking into the room what with the tattos and all J/k ...

21

Money $?$?$?

by tattoogrl333 in

jw
friends

just curious they seem to have an endless supply of literature but they never ask me to pay them for the books.

and i never see a collection basket being passed around.

so how do they get their money???.

NameWithheld

Oh, and as an aside, the last few years I was attending meetings, it used to REALLY irritate me how much they would beg and plead for $$ from the stages. I mean they used to be so proud of the fact that they didn't pass collection plates, and contributions were voluntary, but from the early 90's on it seemed as if there was money talk at every meeting. And now I hear they're installing ATMs in assembly halls and some KH!? Wow. And the whole 'vote to pay this or that expense' crap - I mean WHO in the hell would actually raise their hands to oppose paying the COs expenses? Nobody if you didn't want to be open a can of worms. And then they'd vote to contribute a certain amount the the 'worldwide work' (which was actually a vote to pay for last months books), and they'd break down how much each JW would need to contribute to cover that vote ... how transparent can you get?

21

Money $?$?$?

by tattoogrl333 in

jw
friends

just curious they seem to have an endless supply of literature but they never ask me to pay them for the books.

and i never see a collection basket being passed around.

so how do they get their money???.

NameWithheld

If you even begin to attend the thursday night meeting you will hear a LOT about donating, from 'account reports' (a monthly notice that the Kingdom Hall is behind on all it's bills and not enough $$ was given to cover expenses), to special 'announcements' to remind the people to give. No no donation plate is passed around, but the donation boxes are hard to miss at the kingdom hall. Pretty much every thrusday night we had some announcement about $$. Studies are not usually invited to those meetings right off, they start you at the small bookstudy or Sunday 'public talks'.

Even though they 'give away' the books, the local cong MUST PAY the WTBTS for each month's lituature shipments, usually in a 'donation to the worldwide work' that comes out of the local cong funds. If they fail to pay, they WILL NOT have more books shipped to them. This is VERY hush hush, but all the accounts servants know about it. So in turn the local cong pressures the local JW's to contribute to cover those costs. Sometimes JWs will suggest to people at the door that they may contribute if they'd like to, but most JWs I know are not very comfortable asking for that and just pay for the books themselves. The WTBTS leaves little coded hints in various places as to how much to pay for different things usuing words like "similar CD-ROMS cost as much as $50-300" or "you could mention that similar books sell for $5", etc. This is a way to communicate 'how much' the JWs should contribute for each item without outright setting prices (which would get them into tax trouble, which is the whole reason they stopped charging for books in the first place).

40

Are you still a pacifist?

by wasasister in

jw
friends

last night, i found myself wondering aloud about something i never thought i would consider: purchasing a gun.

previously, i had very strong anti-gun sentiments.

i felt, and still do to some extent, that freely available guns in this country are an immediate threat to children and add to the violent perception others have of americans.

NameWithheld

"Guns don't kill people, people kill people"

Kinda flippant, but true. In times past guns were around everybody, and children were exposed from and early age and taught how to use them. Those same children were not taking said guns to school and killing their classmates. But that's upbringing ... (another topic entirely!)

This is a touchy subject for sure! If you try and wipe out all the guns, the only people who will have guns are the police/military and criminals who WILL find a way to obtain them. If that's OK w/ you so be it, but some people in the US are concerned that that gives up their freedoms. In other words they would feel helpless to defend their land again gov't intrusion. Of course, some of those people are real wackos too :D but there has to be a middle ground. Some of the people in the gov't are real wackos too :o ;)

Also the cops aren't always (in fact rarely are) around to help when a violent crime is committed.

7

Looking to the future

by individuals wife in

jw
friends

it was a wonderful hope to be given - to live forever in a paradise earth, never to grow old, never to suffer the aches and pains of an ageing body, to see your family grow generation after generation.

it was a relief not having to worry about how we would survive on an old age pension, who would look after us in our twilight years or how we could manage if we were bereaved and left alone to look after ourselves with failing health.. now that the illusion has been destroyed and reality has set in it has put boundaries on our lifespan on this earth.

we have to look at practicalities, a pension, long term health care, securing a happy and comfortable retirement.

NameWithheld

I think this is one of the more difficult things to deal with for those of us who grew up 'in the troof'. After being pounded daily into your head that 'you won't go to high school, you won't move out, you won't get a job, etc, etc' (and realizing that same stuff was told to YOUR parents!) - you get into a 'future doesn't matter' frame of mind. Planning for old age then becomes a difficult concept to think about. Now middle age is on the horizon and I realize there is precious little time to enjoy life (and yet be able to save for old age).

I think even more sad for me is realizing that my parents have been living the same lie WAY longer than me, and still are. And now they are nearing retirement age and live in a day-to-day struggle to pay the bills. 10 more years when they can't work what happens? There's no retirement fund. There's no true friends that will help when the time comes. And the other children are living the same lie and thus are continuing the tradition of only making enough $$ to scrape by. There will be no help there either. All I can hope is I've put myself into a good enough position to be of some use.

And the JW's call this materialistic, all the while planning on taking the nice homes and fancy cars over after Jah kills the owners! :o Or taking gov't handouts that the rest of us have 20-35% of our checks ripped out to provide.